Thanks to Kelly, Frass, Monica, and Sal.  You guys are great.
Thanks to Oral for continuing to come up with these ideas (stop it!). I hate you.
Thanks to ABC for all of the support and for once again getting me to write this story in the first place. You are the sweetest devil ever.

-Bobbi Manuel

The Love Boat

Chapter One

Giles wasn't looking forward to the upcoming meeting, but he was confident that it needed to be done. Sometimes unpleasant tasks were a part of his job, so he gathered his courage and resolve and watched as the clock ticked its way to 4:15. He knew that was the time they were likely to appear, despite the fact that the meeting was scheduled for four o'clock sharp.

"Are you nervous?"

He turned his gaze to the girl seated across from him and smiled weakly.

"Yes, and you?"

"Yep, but we're doing the right thing, Giles."

He nodded; Willow was right. They'd repeatedly gone over all of their viable options and there was only one thing that was at all likely to work. They had to put a stop to the demon slave trade quickly and to do that, well it was going to require the very best they had.

His mind was busy with the logistics of the case when a smiling Buffy walked into his office.

"Hi, guys! Is this a 'meeting' meeting or an excuse to have tea and cookies together?"

"Gee Buff, it's not like we're savages."

"Hello, Buffy. You're looking chipper."

She sat in the chair next to Willow's, reached for a cookie and took two while Giles prepared her tea the way she liked it.

"Chipper I am. This has been a great day. The new recruits are all pretty skilled and we went through the drills with twenty minutes to spare. That in turn gave me the time I needed to go online while the sale was still in full sale."

"Ooh, you got those cute brown boots?"

"To be in my hot little hands and then on my perfectly shaped little feet in three days time! And there just might be another 'Willow" sized pair on their way too."

Giles winced at the sound of Willow's high pitched squeal of delight. It was a noise he'd become well accustomed to over the years, and yet he still felt as if his ears were at risk of bleeding each time he heard it.

Buffy and Willow seemed unaffected as they hung onto each other and talked excitedly about their latest purchase.

"When they get here, Will, we so have to go out and show them off!"

"We can double date…if you have a boyfriend by then, I mean."

Buffy nodded enthusiastically:

"I'll get one just for the day if I have to. We can go to…"

"So what's the excitement: 'Pastel Nerd' clothing line come out today?"

Faith nodded at Giles as she plopped down into the chair next to Buffy. She grabbed a handful of cookies and crammed two into her mouth, her eyes searching for a beverage.

Giles slid a cup of tea towards Buffy, then turned to pull a bottle of ice cold root beer out of the mini-fridge behind his desk. With as much of a smile as she could manage around the chewed up cookies, Faith unscrewed the cap and swallowed at least a third of the bottle.

Buffy sat looking at her with disgust.

"God, could you be a bigger pig?"

"Yeah, but I like to be on my best behavior when I'm around you."

"Hi, Faith."

"Heya, Red. So what's the big?"

Willow looked pointedly at Giles and he followed his cue without delay:

"Now that you two have arrived…there's something we need to discuss."

"Hey, I thought you guys said this was a 'tea and cookies' meeting. No changing it to a real one now."

Faith was clearly not happy either.

"We just met yesterday, why we gotta meet again? And where's everybody else?"

"Girls, if I might explain first before…"

"Where's Xander?"

"Yeah, if I gotta suffer, so's Cyclops."

"Xander elected not to be present for this meeting and …"

"Me neither."

Faith stood, brushing crumbs from her shirt and grabbing another handful of cookies.

"Been a slice."

She tipped her bottle in a jaunty goodbye, but before she'd managed to take two steps, Giles stopped her from leaving.

"…his presence is not required as yours most definitely is."

Faith sat back down with a big grin:

"Can't blame a girl for tryin'."

"No, but we can blame you for wasting our time."

"Oh yeah, B, sorry to interrupt your 'watching the paint dry' fun."

Giles took control before Buffy could offer her rebuttal:

"As charming as it always is to listen to the two of you insulting one another, I called you here for a most important reason."

They all nodded, Willow too because she was Willow, and Giles dove in.

"We've a situation that requires the two of you to work together in order to achieve a favorable conclusion to what has become an increasingly sordid and dangerous affair."

Faith snagged the bag of cookies from Giles' desk, no longer content to pick over the stragglers on the plate.

"Great, so me and B gotta tag team it. Why the big worry? Not like we don't do it all the time."

"Faith's right, for a shocking change. We handle cases together just fine, so why the dire?"

"The nature of this specific case causes a rather unique situation for the two of you to work through."

Faith was peering into the now empty bag, her expression sad.

"Could you just spill it, G-Man? I'm starving and your little pieces of cardboard are all gone. Jesus, how many'd you scarf up, B?"

"I had two! You're the pig who crammed 90 into your mouth at one time."

Giles took off his glasses:

"Girls, a little focus please."

Faith crumpled up the bag and tossed it into the trash can across the room.

"Score! You guys see how I used the wall to…Okay fine, I'm focused."

Giles glanced at Buffy to make sure he had her attention as well, and carried on.

"This assignment involves the two of you going undercover on a cruise for a week."

Buffy and Faith looked stunned, then smiled and gave each other a high five.

"A cruise?! Hell yeah!"

"Where to? Someplace warm, right, not an Alaskan one? "

"Yes, Buffy, the ship goes to the Mexican Riviera."

That pronouncement led to another Slayer high five.

"Fuck me! So when do we pull out, G-Man?"

"You depart tomorrow, which gives us not nearly enough time as far as the necessary preparations go."

Faith was shaking her head:

"Preparations? Just gotta grab our bikinis and go!"

Buffy was sitting on the very edge of her seat, her faced flushed with excitement.

"Giles, this is so awesome! Were we really good or something?"

"Course we were good, B. We're the best and we're gonna live it up!"

"You girls do perhaps recall that this is an assignment, yes? You're not being rewarded, you've a job to do and you're expected to do it."

The sudden silence of the room had his voice echoing slightly, even Willow looked chastised.

"Damn, G-Man, way to be a buzzkill."

"I'm simply trying to get my two best Slayers to pay attention to the salient facts of this case."

"But Giles, we live in Cleveland and it's winter time. How do you expect us not to be giddy about a cruise to Mexico?"

"Whilst I understand a certain level of excitement, Buffy, it's imperative that we all focus on the difficult task ahead."

Faith leaned back in her chair:

"Still bein' a buzzkill, but I'm listening."

Buffy nodded:

"Me too."

Giles replaced his glasses and shuffled through some papers on his desk.

"There've been a rash of disappearances in the last several months; Willow's the one who first noticed the anomaly."

Willow's excitement was plain to see.

"I was just fooling around with Radisson's theories, applying them to populations in different cross-sections just to kill some time, and the pattern popped right out. Once I started digging, well it became obvious we had a real problem."

"Yeah, happens to me all the time, Red."

"Willow brought her findings to me and along with a bit of conventional research, we were able to find the explanation for the disappearances. The bottom line is simple: Alcar demons are abducting women. We've managed to shut down several of their operations around the world, but we've not fully eradicated their network."

Buffy was in full Slayer mode:

"And the reason for the woman-napping?"

"We'd at first assumed it involved an apocalyptic ritual of some sort, but we were quickly disabused of that notion. It now appears to be a rather straightforward sex slave enterprise."

Buffy's face showed her distaste:

"Okay, gross on a whole new level. So they were taking women from all over the world and now it's just from this boat?"

"Ship, Buffy, and yes and no. They've been targeting cruise ships for quite some time, apparently realizing they're a veritable cornucopia of prospective women. Generally there's a wide range of ethnic backgrounds to choose from in a very small, concentrated area."

"Yeah, look at this!"

Willow pulled out several large poster boards from beside Giles' desk, each complete with colorful hand drawn graphs.

"It's the perfect set-up for them! All kinds of women just floating around waiting to be taken at the Alcars' leisure, all while enjoying the fun of the cruise too."

Faith barely glanced at the charts, and then only because Willow was so clearly proud of her work.

"Okay, so plenty of people around to choose from, no way for the good guys to charge in and destroy'em without a huge scene, but how the hell can they get the women off the ship without anybody noticing? When they hit port they gotta do some kinda headcount before the ship takes off again, and what about when the people never come home from their vacation?"

"All excellent points, Faith. We're not certain about the specifics of any of that, except to say they've perhaps infiltrated the ship's crew and are likely using dark magicks afterwards to cover the abductions."

Buffy was studying the charts, looking more confused by the second.

"Pretty colors, Will. So why haven't we heard of any abductions on the news? If cruise ships are being targeted…"

"Yeah, G-Man, people go missing and they can't keep that quiet for long."

"Quite true, and that's why we suspect extensive crew involvement as well as the singling out of women the Alcars somehow know won't be missed. We don't really understand, but Willow and I are currently conducting an investigation. Hopefully our contacts will be able to provide us with some concrete information as well."

Buffy was nodding along, despite being clearly puzzled by something:

"Okay, so we don't exactly know what's going on yet, which is always tricky, but Faith and I have handled way worse cases than this before. And while being stuck on a boat with her isn't exactly a dream come true…"

"Yeah, like being around you for days and days is some big treat for me."

"...why are you guys acting all nervous like you need to talk us into going? It's a cruise, I'd put up with Andrew if it meant I had the chance to laze around in the sun at least part of the time."

"Gotta agree with B – what's the shit you're not sayin'?"

Willow and Giles exchanged a look, then Giles blew out a steadying breath and just said it:

"It's an 'Olivia' cruise."

Buffy nodded, still waiting for more information, but Faith understood all too well. She exploded out of her chair.

"No fucking way!"

"Faith, please do me the courtesy of…"

Buffy was nothing but confused as she looked at Faith:

"What's going on? Why'd you jump up like a crazy person?"

Willow tried to calm things down:

"Faith, if you'll just look at this chart, it shows why we need to do it this way."

Faith shoved the chart that was now in front of her face roughly to the side.

"I don't give a fuck what it shows! I've gone along with every stupid idea you guys have ever come up with, but this is askin' too much."

"Would somebody please tell me what's going on here? Who's Olivia and how do you know her, Faith?"

Faith finally looked at her, marveling at how dumb Buffy could sometimes be. She sat back down in her chair, all bad attitude.

"Oh man, blonde is definitely your color, B."

Buffy glared at her:

"Gee, how great: it's time for the 'blonde' jokes. Giles, would you please explain before I beat Faith unconscious?"

"Uh…yes, of course. You see….it's like this, Buffy…Ahh…well, then…"

"It's a dyke cruise, B. A boatload of lesbians."

"What?!"

Willow frantically shuffled through her poster boards before realizing she was going to have to wing it.

"Okay guys, let's just calm down. I mean, weird, slightly homophobic vibe aside, this isn't that big of a deal. You'll be undercover, like really cool secret agents, and there's definitely going to be plenty of downtime for lazing around the pool while you're sipping fruity alcoholic beverages with umbrellas and…"

"And gettin' slobbered over by a buncha chicks."

"Okay, yes, true, and again with the somewhat surprising homophobic thing."

"Giles, why us? Send somebody else!"

He tried to project nothing but a calm professionalism:

"Buffy, there's little margin for error and this is going to be a situation that requires constant on the fly adjustments. Without a doubt we need both of you girls on site."

"So stick us on the boat as crew then or we'll go in as singles."

Giles shook his head at Faith's suggestion:

"I'm afraid that's not possible. We cannot introduce two new crew members at such a late date, it will only arouse suspicion especially when one considers the crew itself is suspect. And our research indicates that the best cover story for the two of you will be as a couple very much in love."

Willow leaned across Buffy, thrusting another chart at Faith:

"If you'll just look at this chart, you'll see how we came to that conclusion. Based on the previous abductions…"

"Fuck your charts, okay? There's no goddamn way I'm gonna do this!"

Willow sat back in her chair, commenting under her breath as she tidied her poster boards into a single pile.

"Okay, but now I'm adding 'meanness' to the whole homophobic crazies."

Buffy finally found her voice:

"We're not homophobic or mean, Will…at least I'm not. I just don't want to pretend to be Faith's girlfriend on a gay cruise. Giles, can't we just send Willow and Kennedy? They're already all lesbianed up and hey, a powerful witch should be able to get the job done with a decent Slayer sidekick."

His hands began massaging his temples.

"I'm afraid Willow needs to be here to coordinate the magic intel we'll be receiving over the next several days, and besides that, the data we've uncovered indicates that using magic is most likely not possible on this assignment. In fact, it was the presence of mystical wards surrounding this particular ship that allowed us to discern it was in fact, the intended target."

"Which I could show you in red, black, and yellow if you'd only look at this chart."

"Willow, enough with the stupid charts!"

Willow sat back again, obviously miffed at Buffy's response:

"And the 'Meanest Gay Basher in Cleveland' award goes to…Ms. Buffy Summers."

Buffy rolled her eyes and Faith picked up the Slayer argument:

"G-Man, you gotta be kidding. Remember last week? Me and B could barely make it through a five hour stake-out without killing each other. How the hell can you expect us to pull this off?"

"Girls, you're making much too much of this. You will merely be pretending to be involved in a romantic relationship."

"Wow, that's a relief! B, we just gotta pretend to fuck each other, Giles doesn't want us to do it for real."

He lifted his glasses and rubbed his hand across his eyes:

"Ridiculous crudities aside, Faith, I should think the two of you would…"

"I've got it! Send Faith and Kennedy instead!"

"What?! Fuck that!"

Both Slayers were on their feet, jockeying for position in front of Giles' desk. Buffy was faster and she pushed Faith back into her seat as she gained his attention.

"They'd be just perfect for the job, Giles, and I'll stay here with Will and do tons of correlating and…"

Faith shoved Buffy to the side, causing Buffy to lose her balance and stumble into Giles' freestanding world globe.

"For God's sake, that's an antique!"

"Stop tryin' to sell me out, B! No fucking way am I gettin' stuck with Kennedy!"

"Hey, that's my girlfriend you're talking about!"

"Yeah? Well, condolences, Red."

Buffy was back, holding the intact globe out in front of her like a bribe:

"Giles, just think about it because…"

"ENOUGH!"

He snatched the globe from Buffy's hands.

"Both of you sit down and be quiet!"

They did, like third graders who'd been caught with their hands in the weapons chest. Giles stared at them for a moment, then returned the world to its stand before reclaiming his own seat.

"Buffy, is it not you who constantly complains that Kennedy is, and I quote: 'The least adapty person on this planet'?"

Willow's gasp was audible:

"Buffy! You told me you never said anything like that!"

"I didn't, Will…except, okay yes, maybe once or twice I might have hinted at it. But I obviously didn't mean it about missions that take place on gay cruises with Faith, Giles."

"Well, be that as it may…"

"Kennedy has feelings too, Buffy."

"I know that and I'm sorry, Will, but she's just so stupid whenever something unexpected happens. You're never there when she…"

Faith ignored them as she smiled her most friendly smile at Giles. She looked calm and her voice was more reasonable than he'd ever heard it before. He knew she was trying to look sensible and levelheaded, but all she was managing to project was an insane desperation.

"Giles, think this through. Me and B aren't exactly 'buddy movie' material. No way can we fool anybody that we're in love. I'd probably toss her ass overboard 'fore we even set sail."

"I am sorry, Will! Nothing's more important to me than Kennedy's feelings and I'd so love to see you try it, F."

"Yeah? Works for me 'cause I'd love to throw your…"

Giles stood along with his Slayers who were now standing face to face:

"Buffy! Faith! Stop this immature behavior right this instant!"

"She started it, Giles!"

"Fuck I did! You're the one tryin' to stick me with Trust Fund!"

Willow threw her charts down on the floor as she stood:

"Excuse me, you're talking about the woman I love."

"Guess there's no explainin' taste."

"That's it!"

Willow's eyes closed and she began chanting.

"You're just mad at her, right, Will?"

There was no answer and Buffy grew increasingly nervous:

"Will……Willow?"

"Jesus Red, can't ya take a joke?"

Giles again raised his voice:

"Wiilow, please!"

It was an extremely tense minute before Willow stopped murmuring. She gave both Slayers her version of the evil eye, then picked up the scattered poster boards and sat back down in her chair.

"Fine, but I'm going to turn you both into rats if you keep attacking Kennedy and bashing lesbians in general. I don't care what Giles says."

"Bashing lesbians? Who's bashing lesbians? I'm not bashing lesbians, Will, I love lesbians. Lesbians R Me! Heck even my best friend's a lesbian."

"Yeah, that's not overkill, B. Why don't you put on a rainbow tool belt next?"

"Why don't you shut up before I make you, F?"

Giles was massaging his neck as he waited for the chance to get a word in edgewise.

"Any time you're ready, Twinkie, I'm right here."

"For God's sakes, do shut up."

They did…again.

"I understand this assignment's going to be quite the challenge, but it's necessary and you will both need to commit fully to it."

"…Fuckin' oughta be committed."

"Giles, missions that last two days are about our limit, and that's with separate rooms. We'll kill each other if we have to pretend to be girlfriends."

"And you'll stick out like sore thumbs if you don't."

"Yeah guys, 'Olivia' cruises are all about the sex and romance and love dovey fun stuff. You're going to have to be into it to make it work."

"Hey, maybe me and B could be two chicks rockin' the lesbian bed death! We could sell that easy."

Willow was shaking her head in the negative:

"They're abducting the women for sex slaves, so if you guys act like you don't have any…"

Giles was certain there was a knot the size of small boulder at the back of his neck.

"You two need to appear to be infatuated with one another. It's simple and clean and gives us the best chance of getting the Alcar demons to make their move."

Buffy sighed, wildly unhappy:

"So we're like bait then? We have to draw them to us?"

"If possible, yes, that would be the ideal scenario. But you'll also need to be observant and keep an eye on the other passengers as much as possible. The abductions seem to take place on the ship itself, not at the ports of call, so it will serve our purpose just as well if you can pinpoint who the demons are. We'll then be able to track their movements, and with any luck we'll find out where they're taking these women."

No one said anything until Buffy spoke up, her expression one of resignation.

"Fine, do we at least get to keep our own names?"

Willow piped up cheerfully:

"Yep, you guys are registered as: "Buffy and Faith Lehane."

"Why's her name first?!"

"Why do I have to be called by her name?!"

Willow stayed calm:

"It just sounded better like that, and not many demons know Faith's last name. The good news is we got you guys a great cabin, not one of those tiny, claustrophobic ones."

Faith perked right up:

"'Bout fucking time somethin' went our way. Least we won't be on top of each other."

Willow smiled and let the obvious joke sail by, happy that both Slayers now seemed to be onboard.

"I saw some pictures and they say the new 'Honeymoon Verandah' is really spacious and…"

"What?!"

Two voices yelled out together in a perfect harmony of horror.

"We thought it'd really help sell you guys as a couple, and remember the bright side – totally roomy, no getting on top of each other."

Buffy looked at Willow hopefully:

"Does it at least have two beds?"

"Oh yeah, B, that's real romantic. It's the fucking 'Honeymoon' suite, bed's probably shaped like a heart."

"Shut up, Faith. Like you have a clue what romantic is."

"Maybe I don't, but I know what hot fucking is, so just follow my lead."

"No thanks, I'll skip the trip to 'Skankyville' this time around."

"Suit yourself, Driven Snow."

Giles' head was tipped all the way back against the headrest of his chair, his eyes closed as his migraine started to pound relentlessly.

"Might we stop this pointless bickering and use the little time we've left to go over vital information?"

"I'll shut up if Her Highness will."

"Go to hell, Faith."

"Yeah, I'll be there tomorrow."

Chapter Two

"And this ladies, is your elegant and romantic 'Honeymoon Verandah' suite."

Buffy and Faith stood smiling, Faith's arm wrapped around Buffy's waist pulling her in tight against her. Buffy's arm was also around Faith as she leaned into her.

"It's beautiful, isn't it, baby?"

"Yeah, can't wait to test out that bed, B."

The valet nodded, all smarmy friendliness.

"And please remember the staff is at your disposal 24 hours a day. Let me show you around."

Faith pulled Buffy closer until she squealed, then kissed her cheek.

"Not figuring to need anybody else…"

She disentangled herself from a blushing Buffy and handed him a folded twenty, dismissing him before he had a chance to do his job.

"…but good to know the options, Erik."

He smiled as he took the money and did a little bow before leaving. Faith double locked the door behind him, turning to see Buffy placing a tube of lipstick down on the dining area table.

"Fuck, didn't think he was ever gonna leave us alone."

Faith eyed Buffy up and down and made her approach, quickly wrapping her arms around her woman.

"Oh Faith…"

They held each other close until the lipstick flashed green and Buffy silently mouthed the all-clear. Faith loudly kissed her own shoulder, then moaned while Buffy stepped away and pulled out a device that looked exactly like an iPod.

"There's more where that came from, baby."

"I'm counting on it, F, but let's look around a little first."

Faith started with the side table, then began feeling under the dining room table and chairs before moving on to examine the desk area across from it. She found nothing and followed Buffy into the living area.

"Place is wicked sweet, yeah, B?"

"It's huge and just look at that view!"

Buffy slid open the glass door and stepped out onto the private verandah, her "iPod" in her hand. Faith joined her, her arms wrapping around Buffy as she nuzzled into her neck. Buffy's free hand covered one of Faith's, the one holding the lipstick. Faith kept nuzzling, looking down until she saw the telltale green flash.

She let go and whistled.

"Even got our own whirlpool and the privacy to use it once we get out to sea."

"I can't believe you got us this cabin, F. It's perfect!"

"You're worth every penny, baby. So what do ya wanna do first? A quickie 'fore we set sail or ya wanna head out and wave to nobody we know?"

"Whatever you want, sweetie. Just as long as I'm with you, I'm happy."

They went back inside and headed to the bedroom. Faith began removing the dresser drawers, her hand sweeping inside the dresser itself looking for any bugs. She moved onto the vanity, feeling carefully along the back and underside, as well as underneath the seat.

"Damn, B, this is rockin'. Even got this little make-up spot for all your stuff."

"And I could die happy in here."

Buffy's voice was muffled because she'd gone into the bathroom and it wasn't long before Faith heard the toilet flush. Buffy came out with a thumbs up – either she'd just done her business or the bathroom was clear too.

They kept up the chatter until Buffy finished sweeping the bedroom and turned off the bug detecting device.

"We're good, no surveillance of any kind."

"Told ya the fuckin' bed was gonna be a heart."

Buffy looked at the satiny cover and winced.

"And so much for our plan of taking turns on the couch."

"Yeah, Erik acts like some extra chairs and free drinks makes up for the screw-up."

Buffy put her bags on the bed and began unpacking.

"I guess that's the consequence of being the first people to…"

"Fuck in this room."

"…to stay in here after the makeover. Stop being so gross."

Faith tossed her bag into the corner, then flopped out full length on the bed.

"You better loosen it up and get with the program. Me and you gotta turn up the heat and grab some attention."

Buffy was carefully hanging her tops in the closet:

"Don't tell me what the assignment is, Faith. I'm well aware of what we're doing here."

"Jesus, take it easy, Your Highness. Why ya got your balls…Oh fuck, you on the rag?"

Buffy turned to glare at her:

"No, I'm not having my period."

Faith folded her arms casually behind her head:

"Guess that's good, 'cept it means your shitty mood's just you without Aunt Flo for an excuse."

"Shut up. God, could this get any worse?"

"Least we got feather pillows."

"And we've also got…"

Buffy ducked further into the closet and Faith practically cringed when she emerged holding two outfits that were obviously their pre-ordered formalwear.

"…these gorgeous outfits."

"Yeah, so I'm thinkin' the 'worse' has arrived."

"Oh, come on. It'll be fun to get dressed up for dinner."

"For who? I'm still willing to sell my soul to get out of it."

"You're being ridiculous. My dress is absolutely stunning and it's going to make me look great. You're going to look good in this too."

"Just shoot me now."

"I'm sure at some point I'll want to. We've also got some slacks and blouses here which according to the tags are called…'Smart Casual'."

"They can call'em what they want, doesn't make'em anything but a pain in the ass."

Buffy hung the outfits back in the closet and grabbed some clothes from one of her suitcases. She glanced at Faith as she approached the dresser.

"Aren't you going to unpack?"

"Nah, can just yank shit outta my bag when I need it. 'Sides, I'm on my honeymoon, clothes are optional."

"So is you getting half of the bed if you aren't wearing anything."

"Aw, was countin' on goin' raw at night."

Buffy pulled more clothes out of her bag:

"Count again. I sleep on the right side, by the way."

"What do ya want: a gold star?"

"No, I'm just telling you now that the right side's mine."

"Says who?"

"Says me."

"Sorry to break it to ya, B, but you're not in charge here."

"Sorry to break it to you, but yes I am."

Faith stood up:

"Fuck that! No way did Giles…"

"Look around, F. Do you see Giles anywhere?"

Faith barely managed to stop herself from looking.

"No, so kiss my ass, you're in charge."

"It only makes sense. Someone has to be or we'll be fighting the whole time over everything."

"Yeah, okay, but why's that somebody gotta be you?"

"Because I'm in charge back home."

"Look around, B. You see home anywhere?"

Buffy closed the dresser drawer and went back to her nearly empty suitcase. She pulled out three pairs of shoes and placed them on the shoe rack in the closet, then got to work emptying her second suitcase.

"Whatever, Faith."

"Okay, flip ya for it."

Buffy turned slowly to face her, her arms full of underwear, but her expression making it clear she was in Slayer mode.

"Just try it, Faith."

"A coin flip, dumb ass."

"Oh."

Buffy went back to the dresser intent on getting her underwear just right.

"And no, because that's a totally stupid way to…"

"Alright, let's arm wrestle."

"Oh my God, are you five? I am not arm wrestling or flipping coins or playing Eenie, Meenie, Miney Moe' either. Besides, all I said was I want the right side of the bed!"

"It's the way you said it.

Buffy rolled her eyes as she filled another dresser drawer:

"Okay, fine. I'm sorry. Can I please have the right side of the bed or do I have to beat you into a bloody pulp and take it?"

"Yeah, well since you put it so fuckin' nice, B, how can I refuse?"

Buffy took out her cosmetics bag and her final pair of shoes, then zipped up both of her suitcases. She slid them into the closet and put her shoes next to the others on the rack. Satisfied with a job well done, she snagged her cosmetics bag from the bed and went into the surprisingly large bathroom with the heart-shaped Jacuzzi tub.

Faith followed her in with a low whistle:

"Wow, nice john. Check out the tub."

"I know and look at all of the jets…"

"…that are placed just right for fucking."

Buffy looked at her in the mirror with a mixture of awe and disgust:

"Do you have to work at it or does it just come naturally?"

"What? I'm just sayin' this place is set up for fucking."

Buffy shoved her aside on her way back to the bedroom.

"Great. Let's go over the plan. What do you think we should do first?"

"Kiss."

"What?"

"Kiss. Ya know, smash our lips together, stick our tongues in each other's mouths, maybe cop a feel."

"I'm not kissing you before I have to."

Faith laughed:

"Well then consider this mission blown. B, if we don't practice a little, it's gonna look like we've never done it before."

Buffy flushed, then nodded her agreement.

"I guess you're right."

"So let's practice for a bit 'fore we head out. We got good at the girly handholding pretty fast at the airport."

"Faith, do not start that again!"

"You gotta admit it's pretty sappy to…what'd you call it?"

"We 'entwined' our fingers. It's not some exotic…"

"Yeah, that's it! We 'entwined' forever after, I do, amen."

Buffy's voice rose with her irritation:

"Excuse me for not wanting you to drag me through the airport like I was your little woman."

"If it looked like anything, was that I was draggin' your ass someplace I could fuck your brains out."

"Uh-huh. Well I'm not here to play the part of your 'little woman'. "

"Well nobody's gonna buy me as the 'little woman', so you'd better man up fast."

Buffy was clearly appalled:

"I don't know what kind of relationships you've been in, but no one needs to be the 'little woman'. Haven't you ever heard of partners being equal?"

"First off, Blondie: my 'relationships' have all been 'fuck and go'. Second: no such thing as equals. It's all push and pull 'til you finally got your teeth at their neck and they gotta give."

"Gee, that's just so sweet. I can see why you've had so much success when it comes to love."

Faith grinned and ran her hands seductively down her own body:

"Hey, with the goods as good as this, I don't gotta play anybody's game. I make the rules, change'em when I want, and fuck at will. I'm happy."

Buffy sighed:

"I'm sure you are. Okay, let's get this over with."

She stepped up close to Faith, not exactly looking at her.

"God, this is awkward."

"So which way ya goin'?"

Buffy thought:

"I'll go left."

"Whoa! Mixin' it up, ya wild woman. Count of three?"

"Fine. One…two…three…OW! I said I was going left!"

"Sorry. Didn't know which left ya meant."

They just stood there, nervous and out of sorts with the tension escalating the longer neither of them moved.

"Come on, Faith. We need to do this."

"Yeah, okay. Start over."

Faith lowered her head and Buffy tilted hers. Just as their lips got to the point of no return, Buffy began laughing and Faith joined in.

"Sorry, it's just…"

"Yeah, it's fuckin' crazy as hell, B."

"I mean, you were moving in and…"

"…and you were waiting and..."

Buffy rubbed a hand across her face.

"This is so hard. What are we going to do?"

"Fuck if I know. Maybe we can pretend we're fighting or somethin'."

"Yeah, that wouldn't exactly be much of a stretch, would it? But the zero sparks between us isn't going to get us noticed either, at least not in the right way. Maybe I should call Giles and…"

She turned away, intending to get her phone when the strong hand on her forearm stopped her. Before Buffy could pull loose, she was whirled around and found herself slamming up against Faith.

"What the hell are y…"

Faith's mouth covered hers and it wasn't tentative at all. It was enticing, knowing, and Buffy fell right into it. Her own lips sent back the delicious pressure, parting slightly when she felt the tongue sliding along her upper lip looking for a way in. Faith entered like she had all the time in the world, her arms wrapped tightly around Buffy's back to hold her in place.

It took Buffy a few beats to do anything in return, so completely was she following Faith's lead, but finally she got busy. Her hands found their way into Faith's hair, weaving and gliding until they were tangled and pulling Faith's head closer. Their breasts brushed against each other when Faith inhaled sharply at the slightly painful tug, and suddenly, just like that – things changed.

Buffy was no longer following, she was leading, and it was Faith's turn to fall into the kiss. Buffy's tongue seemed particularly interested in exploring the roof of Faith's mouth, making her weak in the knees, and her grip on Buffy's back tightened when she felt herself wobble slightly. The fingers in Faith's hair stroked against her scalp, caressing, twisting, and providing tiny blasts of pleasure and pain with every movement.

Buffy's tongue began teasing Faith's, sliding over it, lifting it, and Faith responded. One arm slid downward to Buffy's lower back, forcefully pulling her in tight while Faith's tongue began playing with Buffy's in a perfect rhythm. Time lost its meaning as they stood there, moving together in an impossibly familiar dance.

They broke apart slowly, silently, and it was Faith who managed to recover first:

"And that's how they kiss on 'The Love Boat'."

Buffy nodded, still slightly dazed:

"And they do it very well."

"Yeah, definitely got it goin' on."

"So um…I guess we've got that down."

Faith blew out a long breath:

"Yeah. Key is: no thinking. Just do it."

"Right, no thinking. Just do it."

"Uh…wanna go watch the 'Bon Voyage'?"

"Fresh air and other things not in here sound good to me."

"With ya all the way."

Buffy headed for the door:

"Don't forget the…"

Faith fished a flat, silver circle out of her front pocket and held it aloft for Buffy to see.

"Got it right here! Wait a sec…is this a dime?"

"You mixed it in with your money?"

"How the hell else would I carry it? It's s'posed to look like a coin."

She reached back into her pocket, pulling out a handful of change.

"It's in here someplace…"

"Let me look."

Faith turned away as Buffy closed in:

"Back off, B. I'll handle this."

"Oh yeah, you're doing a really great job so far."

"Ha! Got it!"

Faith's grin was nothing but cocky. She gestured Buffy ahead of her as she opened the door, then reached back to slam the special "door alert" into place. It would stick along the molding unnoticed by the casual observer as it recorded every time someone entered the room. It would tip the Slayers off if any unexpected visitors decided to stop by when they weren't there.

"See? Always gotta make a big deal outta everything. I'm on it, B, so knock…"

The dime hit the carpet as soon as Faith let go of it.

"Fuck!"

"Faith, would you just let me look for it?"

"Stay there."

Faith shoved her further into the hall, then shut the door. Buffy waited almost a full minute, then decided to go back inside. The door was locked. She pressed her ear firmly against the polished wood, but surprisingly she couldn't hear a sound even though she knew Faith had to be swearing up a storm. She waited as patiently as she could for about six seconds, then began banging noisily.

"Hey! Hey! You open this door before I break it down! Faith!"

Two women passed her in the narrow hallway, their look a mixture of surprise and concern. Buffy smiled her best smile, trying to look and sound deliriously happy and in love:

"Sweetie, come on…I'm dying to see."

They smiled at her then, and Buffy's Slayer hearing let her eavesdrop on their commentary:

"Newlyweds. Probably some role playing game."

"Well as hot as she is, I'd be locking her in, not out…Ow!"

Buffy puffed up, preening and smiling as Faith finally opened the door.

"Got it, just like I…What's with the look? Ya seasick or somethin'?"

"We're not even moving yet, how could I be seasick?"

"How do I know? Not like ya don't do weird shit all the time."

Buffy's preening deflated just like that.

"Do you think you could be a little more organized? That's all we need is for you to make a wish and throw it overboard."

"What the hell would I do that for? Not like we're sailing over a well or somethin'."

"Faith, would you just keep it someplace safe?"

"Fine, Blondie, but it's not like…Look alive."

She raised Buffy's hand for a quick kiss as a group filed by laughing and giggling. They all nodded hello as they passed, and both Slayers heard their conversation in the distance:

"Fuck, that is one hot couple."

"Dark and light always looks good together."

"Yeah, especially when they're both drop dead sexy."

"I wouldn't mind doing either one…or both at the same time."

There was raucous laughter, then the voice of reason got the last word in as they faded out of range:

"Forget it, did you see the way they were looking at each other? They got it bad."

****

The ship was finally underway after the longest, most boring lifeboat procedure explanation ever given. They could now pass muster because they knew where their station was, and the mission was in full swing. Buffy and Faith decided to walk around and familiarize themselves with the ship's layout, as well as get a look at as many passengers and crew members as possible. After an hour they'd seen it all, or at least it felt that way.

"So what about it, B? Any tingles?"

"Not a one."

"Me neither. Damn, I'm dyin' for a drink."

"You and everybody else."

"Yeah, places are packed…Hey, we got our own joint, don't we?"

Before Buffy could answer, Faith stopped a crew member who was hustling by.

"Which way to the lounge just for the penthousers."

"Do you mean 'The Neptune Lounge', ma'am?"

"That's it! Knew it was a planet, Mars, Uranus, somethin' like that."

"Yes, ma'am. It's located on Deck 7."

"We're on four, right?"

"Yes, ma'am. This is Deck 4."

"Thanks. C'mon, B."

Buffy smiled at him as Faith started to drag her away, then remembered.

"Entwinement deployed."

She said it softly even though the staff member was well out of earshot.

"Oh Faith, you're such a quick learner. Be still my heart."

The lounge was empty except for the concierge. They showed their IDs and ordered their drinks.

"I'll have a beer. Got any Sam Adams?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Great, just leave it in the bottle."

"And for you, miss?"

"I'll have a Diet Coke, lots of ice."

Faith smiled at Buffy:

"Go ahead and get us a seat, baby."

Buffy looked around and chose a black leather couch in the corner of the TV area. The TV was on, but the sound was down and that was fine with her. She put her feet up without her shoes touching the cushions, relaxing comfortably. Faith was there in less than a minute and as she handed Buffy her drink, she bent down to kiss her. She had planned to make it a simple peck, but Buffy saw the concierge watching and her free hand went to Faith's neck, holding her where she was as she deepened the kiss.

Faith stiffened slightly, but only for a fraction of an instant before responding in kind. When Buffy let go she moved her legs and Faith sat down with a satisfied smile.

"So, we're finally here, baby."

"Yep, it's totally a dream come true."

Faith took a swig of her beer before she responded.

"Bein' with you, B, is always a dream come true."

"Oh Faith…"

She leaned in for another soft kiss, then sat back contentedly, sipping her Diet Coke. Faith pulled Buffy's legs up onto her lap, her hand rubbing casually up and down Buffy's calves. They sat in a comfortable silence, enjoying their beverages and each other's company.

"So what do ya wanna do, B? Dinner's not 'til eight, gives us about three hours."

"Any ideas?"

"Could hit the pool or the casino…Or we could just go back to ours and watch the ocean from our whirlpool."

"That sounds like heaven."

Faith grinned and polished off her beer.

"Let's do it then."

She stood and offered Buffy a hand, then gave her empty to the concierge while he picked up Buffy's glass from the table. Faith signed the tab, then linked her arm through Buffy's when Buffy discreetly, but stubbornly refused to let it go the other way. They walked to their cabin kissing and giggling as Faith unlocked the door and an older couple passed in the hall. Their necks craned as they tried to peer into the fabulous, brand new: "Honeymoon Verandah" suite.

"Sorry bitches, we're full up."

Faith's grin and the way she pulled Buffy closer took any sting out of the comment, and the women smiled as they went on their way.

"After you, B."

They went inside and Faith closed the door. She pulled the "dime" free, nodding when she saw it was still a dull coin color, not the shiny silver that meant someone had been in their cabin.

"We're clear, B."

Buffy didn't waste a second, her irritation evident:

"Stop trying to be the alpha girl."

"Huh?"

"Don't 'huh?' me. You're not the boss in our relationship and I am not your little woman."

"Didn't hear you complaining when I gave ya a break and got our drinks."

"Yeah, thanks for the thirty second rest."

Faith stared at the door alert device closely as she squeezed it.

"Stop bein' such a fuckin' baby. You're gonna screw everything up."

"Then stop trying to take charge of me."

"I'm not…This fuckin' piece of shit…Here!"

She tossed the "dime" to Buffy.

"Gotta push his chin, nose, ear, in that order…twice."

Buffy got to work, talking as she did:

"I thought that concierge guy was kind of creepy."

Faith hopped up on the dining room table, her legs already swinging as they dangled, and grabbed a banana from the fresh fruit bowl.

"Seemed okay to me."

"He kept staring at us and…"

"B, you had your tongue down my throat. We're in his rotation for the next two weeks easy."

There was a soft beep and Buffy smiled at her success.

"My tongue was not down your throat. It was just slightly in your mouth."

"Whatever. Odds are there's a 'Be Back in Five' sign on the door and he's jer…"

"Stop!"

Faith grinned, her mouth full of banana. She swallowed with a gulp, then tossed the peel into the trashcan.

"So, what do ya think we should do for real?"

"Well, I could use a nap. That all night drilling Giles and Will gave us…"

It took Faith a few moments to control her laughter:

"Yeah, B, they really let us have it."

Buffy chose not to respond, but she wanted to slap the smirk right off of Faith's face.

"I'm just saying that it wouldn't hurt to get some rest now. Once things heat up, we probably won't get much sleep."

Faith didn't laugh, but her dimples deepened as she nodded her agreement.

"Makes sense. I could crash for a couple."

They went together into the bedroom and Faith veered off to use the bathroom. When she came out, she still had her t-shirt on, but she was carrying her jeans which she promptly tossed on the vanity stool. Her boxers had Batman on them.

"Are those Underoos?"

"Lucky I got somethin' on. Wasn't kidding before when I said I don't usually wear anything to bed."

"Do you have any Pokemon ones?"

"Not botherin' me, B."

"Teletubbies? Barney?"

"Fuck off."

Buffy went into the bathroom with a smile on her face, and when she emerged she was in her t-shirt and silk pink panties. Faith was already in bed, all snuggled in…on the right side.

"Faith…"

"Somethin' wrong?"

They stared for a few moments, then Faith slid over with a grin:

"Just kidding, B. I don't care what side I'm on."

The situation seemed much more intimate than it should have. The sun was out, and although Faith had closed the blinds, enough light still filtered in to make it clear that nighttime had yet to arrive. The king-sized bed was so huge the heart shape didn't really make much of an impact, and there was plenty of room to move around without coming anywhere near each other. The luxurious sheets were crisp and cool, yet soft and inviting, and combined with the pillows that cradled their heads just right, the bed was practically begging the Slayers to go to sleep.

"Left a wake-up call for seven thirty. That give you enough time to get ready?"

"Uh-huh."

"See ya in a couple then."

They both turned on their sides facing away from each other, and yet they were still fully aware that they were sharing a bed for the first time in their lives. Buffy could smell Faith lingering on her pillow and the scent was…well, it wasn't bad, she was willing to admit that much.

She shifted trying to get comfortable and so did Faith. There was a pause and then as if they'd planned it ahead of time, they did it again…and again.

"Okay B, what's with the squirming?"

"I don't know, I guess you're on edge."

"Me? I'm fine, seconds from goin' dow…under. It's you who's…"

"You wish, F! You're the one who keeps…"

"No, it's you who's got the bed rockin' and rollin' like we're out at sea."

"We are out at sea."

"Oh, yeah…guess we are."

They laughed, staring up at the ceiling until Buffy spoke:

"We both just need to relax and stop fidgeting."

"I will if you will."

"Deal."

Buffy offered her hand, Faith shook it and they rolled over onto their sides, both sound asleep in minutes.

****

Buffy woke up before the wake-up call feeling well rested. She also woke up feeling Faith all over her. Her arm was wrapped around Buffy just under her breasts, her leg was flung over both of Buffy's, and her head nestled snugly on Buffy's chest, just above her nipple. Her breath flowed out evenly, tickling that same nipple with every exhale.

This was the reason Buffy hadn't wanted this assignment with Faith in the first place: the girl never knew her boundaries. She just did what she wanted to do whenever she wanted to do it, disregarding the rules at every turn and constantly pushing Buffy's buttons every chance she got.

Examples didn't come any better than this. The bed was big, humongous even, yet here was Faith…

"Uh-oh."

Buffy had finally noticed – she was on Faith's side of the bed.

Not that there was a legal, officially designated, visibly marked out line, but there was a generally accepted halfway point on any bed, and Buffy was indisputably way over it and onto Faith's side of things. In fact, she was up in her grill, all in her personal space, and there was barely any room left for Faith. No wonder she was on top of Buffy.

She showed no signs of waking which was a bad thing because it was keeping her right where she was, but it also meant that Buffy still had time to extricate herself from an embarrassing position. And Buffy was all for extricating, extricate away, especially when Faith didn't have the first clue what was going on. It was her loss and Buffy's gain because when it came to teasing Buffy, Faith was downright merciless even when she didn't have anything solid to go on. There was no way in the world that Buffy was going to gift wrap a fresh round of ammo for her, not when there was the slightest chance that she could avoid it.

She began sliding back to her own side of the bed, moving slowly, but steadily, and it worked perfectly…except that Faith was coming right along with her like a big, sexy leech. She still hadn't stirred, although Buffy knew for sure that their legs had shifted because Faith's knee was now rubbing and applying steady pressure right at…right on…Faith's knee was now resting right on top of "Little Buffy".

Big Buffy was starting to enjoy the sensations, but she wasn't freaking out about it. She hadn't had a boyfriend in a long time and the feeling of someone else touching her was obviously going to be pleasurable. She was a grown woman with all the normal needs a normal woman had, except she had even more of those normal needs than was normal because she was a Slayer. Besides, having another person as hot as Faith rubbing all over her was not exactly a turnoff at any time, although that was something she knew was best kept to herself.

She found her mind wandering to thoughts of what a great kisser Faith was, how the sparks had flown between them, how her mouth had felt so nice, and suddenly Buffy's tingles began increasing.

Okay, one or the other, but not tingles and sparks together.

She risked a smooth and steady push, but Faith barely budged. She merely snuggled in closer, her cheek rubbing right across Buffy's nipple and making it twinge as she murmured:

"Mmmm…B…"

Buffy had had enough. She couldn't add "twinges" to her rapidly growing "Sexy Feelings" list and be expected to just stay where she was. This time she shoved and slid away together, and she managed to clear Faith. She heaved a deep sigh of relief that was cut short as Faith flopped over onto her stomach and swung her arm over Buffy's waist. She even pulled Buffy closer, but before she could do anything else, the phone rang.

Faith jerked awake:

"Wha…?"

Buffy quickly snatched the phone from its cradle fully expecting a recording, and was instead greeted with an actual human voice:

"Good evening, Mrs. Lehane. This is Rhoda with your requested seven thirty wake-up call."

"Yes, okay. Thank you."

"It's my pleasure, ma'am. Please enjoy your evening and night aboard the ms Oosterdam."

Buffy sat up on the side of the bed, fumbling slightly as she disconnected the call.

"Seven thirty, B?"

"On the dot."

She looked over her shoulder to see Faith stretching, her shirt riding up a little higher than was decent after all of the sparking, rubbing, tingling, and twinging.

"Man, I slept great. How 'bout you?"

"I had a good nap."

Faith finally noticed that she was in the middle of the bed.

"Sorry if I crowded ya. Not used to sharin' a bed, ya know?"

"It was fine, we never even touched. It's a very nice and roomy bed."

Faith hopped up:

"Yeah, bed's definitely got heart. Get it, B?"

"Yes, I get it, Faith."

She laughed at Buffy's grumpy expression.

"Damn, B, you always wake-up so grouchy?"

"I'm not grouchy."

"Yeah, okay. I'm gonna grab a shower, 'less you wanna go first."

"Go ahead."

"Thanks."

She closed the door behind her and pulled off her top and underwear. She turned on the shower and it didn't take long before it had heated up enough to allow her to step in. The water cascaded down her head to her body, and she felt every rivulet as it slinked along her skin like fingers teasing her.

"What the fuck?"

She was completely turned on, the kind of turned on that usually only happened after she'd been slaying. A relaxing nap didn't warrant the level of horniness she was feeling and she tried hard to ignore it, but as she was soaping up her body, she felt the telltale jolts.

"Jesus, what the hell's wrong with me?"

Lathering the shampoo into her hair only made it worse, and she gave in.

"Must be the sea air. Just rub one out and let dinner take care of the hungry."

The last thought that flitted across her mind before she let go would have made no sense to her at all, even if she had remembered it:

Oh yeah…it's all the right side.

Chapter Three

Buffy couldn't have been more relaxed or more content. She was poolside in the warm sun, cruising through the ocean with a glass of lemonade at her side, her sunglasses on, and her suntan lotion oiled body glistening as it soaked up only the good sunshine rays. Cleveland and its cold and unfriendly weather was far, far away, and the best part? Even though she was on assignment, she was still totally within the parameters of her job requirements.

They had decided on their plan of attack last night while dining at the casual Lido Restaurant. Faith absolutely refused to dress up in any way before she had to, and the Lido Restaurant was the only place that didn't have a nighttime dress code. The food was basic, but varied and tasty, and it was just fine with Buffy. Eating outdoors was nothing but delightful with people strolling by and the ship all lit up as it powered gracefully through the ocean. The breeze was warm, yet refreshing, and the atmosphere was fun and exotic.

"So B, how ya think we oughta handle it?"

Faith had finally stopped eating and was leaning back in her chair looking extremely comfortable. She had a bottle of beer in her hand as she looked around.

"Well, I guess we should patrol tonight. I'm not sure about tomorrow."

"We're gonna be lost at sea for the next coupla days, right?"

"They call it 'out at sea'. I don't think we're supposed to be 'lost'."

"But it's just us on the ship yeah? No on or off?"

"Right."

Faith took a swig and nodded:

"According to G-Man, ship's where the trouble happens."

"Yes, the women are disappearing off the boat, but I doubt it happens on the first day."

"Can't rule it out, but yeah, seems kinda stupid to yank'em now. Just makes more chances to notice they're gone."

"So we agree that it's unlikely anything's going down tonight and the next couple of days?"

Faith laughed:

"Don't know about that. We're on a lesbian cruise, B, it's all about goin' down."

"Your immature jokes aside, I guess what we need to do is make ourselves as visible as we can over the next two days and draw lots attention to ourselves. Then at night we'll snoop around and see what we can find out."

"Sounds right. Guessing the pool on the Lido Deck's gonna be the best place to show off."

Buffy had agreed, and after an uneventful night spent on the proper sides of the bed, they began.

By eight thirty they were back at the Lido Restaurant where they appeared to be nothing but a typical honeymoon couple on their honeymoon cruise. They were seated comfortably at one of the outside tables as they enjoyed a surprisingly large breakfast. They took their time, exchanging kisses, holding hands, and eating off of each other's plates while looking totally in love.

They relaxed afterwards, browsing through brochures and sipping their drinks. No one heard their comments about Buffy's "make me puke" tea and Faith's "such a pig" seventh glass of orange juice. They sat there with their t-shirts and shorts covering their bikinis, the very picture of happiness, smiling at anyone who caught their eye as they passed by.

The pool deck began filling at around 9:30, so they made their way to two chairs on the end which provided a modicum of privacy. Faith put their towels and magazines on a nearby table, then moved the chairs closer together.

"How's this, baby?"

"Perfect, Faith."

Buffy took off her shirt, then dropped her shorts, revealing her modestly cut bikini. Faith had no idea why Buffy would ever want to cover such a perfect body any more than she had to, but she also knew it was just her style. Buffy was classy all the way, and no matter what she wore, she looked sexy as hell.

Faith let her eyes follow her, and when Buffy saw her watching, she raised her eyebrow:

"What are you doing?"

"Checkin' out the hottest bitch on this boat."

Buffy smiled at the compliment.

"As long as she's me, I'm good with that."

Faith laughed and pulled Buffy to her, giving her a quick, but passionate kiss.

"Yeah, it's you, B. Always."

She let go of Buffy and stripped off her own clothes, standing there completely comfortable in her tiny red bikini. Buffy let her eyes roam all over her, even though she'd already seen Faith in her suit in their cabin. She couldn't get away with staring then, but now out in public she could…hell, she was supposed to.

Faith was stunning, a perfect picture of a beautiful woman with everything proportioned just right and flowing together into one whole body that would turn anybody's head. She should have looked funny to Buffy; after all this wasn't Faith's usual look, but there was nothing funny about her. She was drop dead gorgeous.

Buffy found herself envying the perfect legs that were tan and fit and shaped so right, they could have fit a square peg into a round hole anytime they wanted to. Her breasts were perky and large, but not too large, and when she turned around her ass was the most perfect ass Buffy had ever seen. Even her feet looked insanely pretty as she kicked off her flip-flops and stepped all the way out of her shorts.

Buffy roused herself, knowing that no one in love with Faith could possibly ignore what she was looking at, and she moved around the chairs and pulled her close.

"You are so beautiful."

And then Buffy kissed her and as it deepened, she boldly pulled Faith closer by her butt, causing several spectators to spectate just as hard as they ever had in their lives. Faith froze for a second from the surprise of being grabbed by her ass, but Buffy didn't ease up at all. She continued to let Faith have it, not backing off until she heard the tiny moan and felt Faith's hands gripping her hips with Slayer strength.

Buffy placed a soft kiss in each of Faith's dimples, letting her hands slide around Faith's body until they met at her stomach. She didn't have the nerve to touch her breasts, so she trailed her fingers to Faith's still gripping hands and pulled them off, raising the left one to her mouth for a kiss before releasing her.

"Later, baby."

Buffy sat down on her chair and she had to hand it to Faith: her acting performance was perfect. She looked totally lust consumed as she stood there, her eyes burning a hole in Buffy.

"…How much later?"

"Go cool off; we just got here, F."

Faith did as she was told, jumping into the pool and staying there for several minutes. When she emerged she looked much calmer, although watching her lift herself out of the pool and then following the water as it rolled down her body wasn't exactly the most calming thing for Buffy.

She took off her sunglasses as she watched Faith approach.

"Good swim?"

"Yeah, B. Definitely cooled me right off."

"Good because it feels like heaven out here."

Buffy replaced her sunglasses and casually scanned the pool deck to see if anyone was inordinately interested. To her surprise, there didn't seem to be anyone who wasn't sneaking looks at them, if not outright staring. She didn't appreciate some of the bolder looks. Faith was a married woman as far as they knew, and yet the skanks were staring lustfully at her right in front of her wife. The tramps had some kind of nerve.

She reached for Faith's hand across the tiny space separating their chairs, only to feel it flop around useless and ignored. When she turned her head to look at Faith, Buffy saw that she was on her side, stretching precariously as she tried to drag a table closer to her.

"Hey!"

Faith snagged the table, slid it where she wanted it, then looked at Buffy:

"What?"

Buffy was glaring at her:

"Take my hand."

"Where ya want me to go with it?"

She still hadn't made a move and Buffy knew every bitch in the place was laughing at her predicament.

"Faith…"

"Just teasing, baby."

Her slightly wet hand took Buffy's as she leaned her head back all the way on the headrest. She closed her eyes and a mollified Buffy turned to sneer at the tramps, arrogantly raising her eyebrow to deliver the clear message: "She's mine, so back off", only to find them ignoring her.

"Scaredy cats."

She relaxed, enjoying the feeling of Faith's thumb slowly stroking the back of her hand. It felt like she was sitting in paradise, and this was the kind of life she could quickly become accustomed to. She had a job that was requiring her to laze around in the warm sun as she lounged in a comfortable chair poolside, Alexa and Denise waiting on her hand and foot.

"Why yes, Denise, I would love some lemonade."

"More ice would be perfect, Alexa."

"No, I don't think I need a hat, but a magazine later would be lovely."

Yep, the mission was definitely a breeze, and an ocean one at that. She was soaking up the sun like only a California girl could, and all she had to do was sip her drink thru a multi-colored straw while occasionally remembering to look Faith's way and whisper sweet nothings or offer her a quick peck. Other than that, Buffy's duties were non-existent.

Only a fool wouldn't love this job. Nobody on Earth could possibly not enjoy every single minute of…

"How much longer, B?"

There was now a shadow over part of Buffy's face as Faith leaned in close, her voice sounding like a little kid who'd reached her limit.

"Faith, just lay back and enjoy the down time."

"Yeah, I already did that."

"Go swimming."

"I did that…twice."

"So? It's hot, go again."

Faith was shaking her head:

"Only if you come with. When I'm alone, too many girls are on me."

Buffy peered over her sunglasses to look her in the eye.

"And did I not warn you that would happen if you wore pieces of Kleenex for a bathing suit?"

Faith didn't say anything, remembering all too well the conversation before breakfast when she'd emerged from the bathroom in her bikini:

"But I got everything covered."

"Barely, Faith. Which is why everyone will be drooling all over you."

"What's the big? We all got the same parts."

Buffy was incredulous:

"True, but not many of us have them arranged quite like you do."

Faith glanced down at herself and grinned:

"Yeah, I got a bangin' bod, but I also already got my woman."

"And trust me: you're going to get a lot more."

"Let's entwine hands, that'll show'em."

Here in the here and now, Faith wasn't interested in beating a dead horse:

"Maybe you were right, but c'mon…I'm dyin' here."

"Faith…"

"B, I'm bored. Alla these chicks are crazy."

"Then you'll fit right in."

Faith sighed:

"Wanna kiss?"

"No. Go get something to eat."

"I already did!"

"Ask Denise or Alexa…"

"Buffy, I don't want another freakin' magazine, alright?"

Buffy didn't even bother to open her eyes:

"Sure, it's fine with me."

"Really wanna play it this way?"

"Lie back, you're in my light."

The next thing Buffy knew, there was no light.

Faith was on the chair with her, her body pressing down on top of Buffy's, her hands holding Buffy's trapped on either side of her head, and their faces just inches apart.

"Faith!"

"B!"

Faith was grinning and Buffy wanted to use her legs to knock her off. She had an opening and would have loved to have kicked her overboard, but she couldn't exactly do that with at least a hundred people watching. To make matters worse, several of them were cheering Faith on.

"How's that for grabbin' us some attention?"

"Combined with your postage stamp bikini, pretty good."

"So how 'bout it? Wanna go swimming with me?"

Buffy spoke barely above a whisper, but Faith knew she was serious:

"No, I want to punch your face in. Wanna do that instead, Snookums?"

"Gee, ya sound a little on the mad side."

"Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!"

The crowd was cheering them on, pounding on the deck, banging on their chairs and tables. They'd been watching the lovebirds for almost two hours and finally there was some action beyond kissing and handholding. Two hot girls were together on the same chair, and the one on top was starting to move slightly from side to side.

"They want us to kiss, B."

"So I hear."

"Guess we gotta do it. Make it look good."

"You are so going to pay for this later, F."

"Course I am. Now pucker up, Blondie."

Faith's lips descended and Buffy bit down hard enough to hurt. Faith yelped, but she didn't stop or pull away. Her tongue swept in boldly like it belonged, like it was home, and Buffy's resolve to make the kiss even more unpleasant disappeared as if it had never existed.

Faith absolutely knew how to kiss, Buffy would give her that, and there was no acting involved when Buffy wrapped her arms around Faith and bent one of her legs up, pressing it tightly alongside Faith's hip. The kiss intensified and the cheers increased in volume, although neither Slayer heard them.

"Woo-hoo! Yeah!

"Give it to her good!"

"Chicks gone wild!"

Faith finally eased back, her expression difficult to read.

"B…"

"Get off."

Faith stifled her comment that she was pretty sure she just had, and stood up on legs that were a little shakier than she was comfortable with.

"Help me up."

Spoken so softly, the woman two chairs over heard nothing, but Faith heard her loud and clear. She got back into character, holding her hand out to Buffy with a big grin on her face:

"Wanna go swimming with me now, baby?"

"Among many things."

Buffy took Faith's hand with a smile and stood next to her. Faith turned them toward the still cheering women and took a bow:

"We're gonna be here all week. Enjoy the show."

She then took off at a jog, pulling Buffy into the pool with her. By the time they'd resurfaced, life poolside had more or less returned to normal. They were in the deep end, treading water as they hung onto each other.

"Pretty pleased with yourself, F?"

"Yeah, but a little scared too."

That admission made Buffy laugh against her will.

"As you should be."

"Don't I know it. But c'mon, B, it was so boring just sittin' around."

"I wasn't bored in the slightest."

Faith placed a loose strand behind Buffy's ear.

"Can't be all about you anymore, Princess. Gotta think about your wife now. 'Sides, did I score us some big attention or what?"

Buffy still felt like punching her, but she also found herself amused. Faith was always just so "Faith", and when she was being good, well, there were few things better or more fun to be around.

"Okay, yes, attention captured for sure, but you won't be charming your way out of this."

"What's it gonna take, B? I got some cash back in the cabin."

"That's not going to work either. Just remember, F…when you least expect it."

"Guess I'm really screwed."

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Hmm, might as well go nuts then."

The warning signs were there, Buffy saw them. The wiggling of the eyebrows, the grin that turned slightly evil, the way her eyes lit up…but unfortunately lazing around in the sun for hours had slowed Buffy's reaction time. She barely had time to register the change before Faith went all "Faith" on her and sprung into action.

She shot up out of the water, rising above Buffy with her hand on top of Buffy's head as she pushed her under…hard. As Buffy swallowed about a third of the pool, she was already planning her counterattack. She saw Faith heading for side of the pool to make her quick exit, but there was no way in hell that was happening.

Mindful of blowing their cover by revealing her skills, Buffy stayed underwater, not nearly out of air yet. She kicked powerfully, figuring it was safe beneath the turbulent surface to cut loose with her Slayer strength. Three kicks and she'd zoomed to right behind Faith who probably had a smug smile on her face as she prepared to hoist herself clear.

Faith would assume all Slayerness was out and that Buffy would have to swim like a normal girl, which would give her more than enough time to leisurely pull herself to safety. While it was true that was one version of how things could go, in the reality they were currently existing in…well, Buffy regretted that she wouldn't be able to see Faith's face in the upcoming seconds. If only someone would take a picture.

Faith's arms left the water, obviously in preparation to lift herself from the pool, but Buffy was in charge now, even though Faith didn't know it yet. She was going to find out who the new boss was in approximately a fraction of an instant.

To the casual observer, it simply looked as if Faith didn't have the necessary arm strength to pull herself clear. It was a bit of a mystery since she'd already done it at least two other times, and also adding to the confusion was how fast her expression had changed from a cocky satisfaction to an: "Oh shit, I'm dead" look.

Below the water, Buffy had a firm grasp on the bottoms of Faith's bikini and she was holding her right where she was. She pulled up sharply and heard what sounded like a tiny, muffled, very un-Faithlike squeak as she delivered the wedgie. Faith tried to turn, but Buffy's other hand was firm at her hip preventing her from moving much at all.

Faith's legs were still free though, and she kicked out with her own Slayer strength and speed. Unfortunately for her, Buffy had been waiting for just that move and the second Faith's leg snapped at her, Buffy shot back with her hands grabbing onto Faith's ankle. She pulled and jerked Faith under the water, and while Faith was busy swallowing her own share of the pool, Buffy calmly hoisted herself clear.

She didn't go far, preferring to sit on the deck with her legs dangling in the pool. It was like taunting a great white shark with a flailing seal: a dangerous move for anyone except for the woman doing the taunting. For her it was a game, a fun and exciting one where the outcome wasn't set in stone.

Her opponent was her equal and even though Faith couldn't risk blowing their cover by retaliating above the water, that didn't mean she wouldn't try something else. Buffy was smiling with anticipation, feeling more alive than she had in forever, and when Faith finally broke the surface, Buffy's grin was huge.

"Hi, baby. Good swim."

"The best, B, 'cept for my suit ridin' up a little."

Faith's brown eyes were lighter, like they'd absorbed the sun and were shining it back at Buffy. She ran her hands along each of Buffy's legs, tightening threateningly when they reached her ankles. Buffy braced herself, but Faith's eyes met hers and she laughed:

"Smug little shit. Think you're safe, yeah?"

"You say that like it's a bad thing…and 'yeah'."

"Not a 'bad' thing, more like a 'Buffy' thing."

"You know what they say, F."

Faith's hands were sliding back up Buffy's legs slowly, like they had every right to be there.

"Fuckers say all kindsa shit. Which one ya thinkin'?"

"Never start something you can't finish."

Faith's eyes flared at the arrogant challenge in Buffy's.

"Yeah, guess that's true."

Her hands went to Buffy's thighs and suddenly turned to steel. There was no way to pull loose without making a scene, and besides what could Faith really do to her?

Buffy realized the stupidity of that question just moments after she'd asked it and felt Faith's lips on her still damp skin. She kissed her way up Buffy's legs slowly, alternating sides as her lips and tongue burned a path of pure fire up her captive's body. She kept going higher, advancing at a glacial pace that did nothing to calm the situation.

As she approached the last decent height before crossing into "You Can't Go There in Public" her eyes met Buffy's…and then she went higher. Buffy jerked – surprised, shocked, and totally, one hundred percent turned on.

"Mmm…Buffy…"

With a sharp nip on the inside of Buffy's right thigh and a last lingering swipe of her tongue, Faith eased back down into the water. Her hands trailed a return to where they'd come from, and it took all of Buffy's willpower not to scooch forward and chase them.

"Was always good with the finish, B."

Faith then dunked under the water and pulled herself up to sit next to Buffy on the deck. They sat there looking at each other and it took a few moments before they realized that the pool area was almost silent and almost every eye was upon them.

"What? You girls never seen somebody on their honeymoon before?"

There was some laughter and applause as the pool popped back to life and Denise approached them somewhat timidly:

"Can I…um…can I get you guys anything?"

"Just a cold shower for me. You, B?"

"I think we're leaving now, Denise."

"Yeah, my wife got sexstroke from layin' out too long."

"Faith!"

Buffy smacked her on the shoulder, making Denise smile. They got to their feet and went back to their chairs to gather their stuff.

"Thanks for waiting on us. Please thank Alexa for us too."

"I will, and it's been…a pleasure."

She still had a smile on her face and her eyes said she'd more than enjoyed her time with them. Faith gave Buffy a towel and smoothly snuck a fifty into Denise's hand.

"Make sure Alexa gets half, yeah?"

"Yes, ma'am! Thank you, ma'am!"

****

They decided to take the stairs back to their room just two decks below.

Buffy held open the door and let Faith head into the stairwell first:

"Right this way, big tipper."

"Hey, G-Man gave us the bucks, just another way to make people notice us."

"I'm not complaining. I love blowing the Council's money at any time."

"I heard that! The cheap bastards…'cept now it's just Giles, and he's not so much cheap as stingy."

When they arrived back at cabin, the maid was just finishing up. They waited out of her way in the hall, making sure to kiss and giggle when she appeared. She smiled at them as she left and as soon as they had the door closed, the lipstick came out, followed closely by the iPod.

"We're clear."

Faith checked the "dime":

"Yeah, just one person."

She tossed it to Buffy to reset, and rushed into the bedroom. She came out more than a little on the dejected side:

"Shit, you were right, B."

She took the "dime" and stuck it back into place while Buffy tried not to laugh at her sadness.

"Yeah, they only leave chocolate at night for the turn down service."

"Sucks. Rather have it 24/7 'stead of this fresh fruit they keep givin' us."

"I like the fruit."

Faith rolled her eyes:

"Course ya do, but who the hell wants fruit if you can score chocolate? And what the hell's a 'papaya' anyways?"

"Delicious."

"Right, must be some stupid Cali thing. So what do ya think?"

Buffy blushed slightly, but she answered right away:

"After that display, I think it'd look funny if we didn't stay in here for a while."

"Yeah, no way are we not fucking right now."

"How long do you think we should…"

"Well, if one of us was a guy, we could head out in fifteen. Gotta figure two chicks are gonna go for multiples and then cuddling."

"An hour?"

"Better make it two."

Buffy nodded and headed for the bathroom:

"It's my turn to shower first."

Faith flopped down on the freshly made bed.

"Can probably order room service in an hour."

"That'd be great, I'm starving."

"Just gotta sound breathless like we just been nose deep."

"Faith!"

"I'm just sayin'."

"That's your problem: you're always just saying."

"Go on, willya? Like to get the chlorine outta my hair."

When Buffy came out twenty minutes later, she was in the plush and comfy bathrobe provided for her "relaxing pleasure both on board and at home".

"All yours…except you're not here."

She walked out of the bedroom and found Faith sitting on their private verandah. She was staring out at the sea thoughtfully and Buffy held her breath not wanting to spoil the moment. The sun was on Faith, yet part of her was in shadow.

She looked beautiful, dark and light, and when she tipped her head back to let the sun fully illuminate her face, she was literally breathtaking.

"Faith…"

She jumped slightly, then turned her head to Buffy.

"All done?"

"Yep, and I used up all the hot water."

Faith got to her feet with a smile:

"No chance, B. This float's way too big to let one shower screw it up for the rest of us."

Buffy stepped outside through the open door and went to the railing:

"It's beautiful out here."

"Yeah, nothin' but water and sunshine. No way can your troubles catch ya out here."

Buffy breathed in deep, smelling salt, sun, and Faith.

"You ready for some looking around tonight?"

Faith joined her at the railing:

"Yeah, hopin' against hope we run into a vamp or two."

Buffy laughed:

"Somehow I doubt they're on our sunny cruise."

"Hey, girl can hope."

They watched in silence as the water sliced past in waves until Faith broke it up:

"I'd better get in there."

"Do we have any fruit left or did you eat it all?"

"Kept ya in mind, B."

"Thanks."

They went back into the cabin and both headed for the bedroom.

"After we eat, was thinkin' we could hit the casino. 'Sides the fun, you can be my good luck charm when I bet too much."

"Okay. I like the slots."

"Yeah, of course you do."

Faith veered off for the bathroom laughing.

"What's so funny about that?"

"Because it's not real gambling. It's all girly and wimpy and totally you."

"And what do you like to play, Tough Girl?"

"Poker and blackjack. Craps kinda rocks too."

"And that's totally you. Go shower."

"Saved the papaya for ya, Princess. Chow down."

"I'll be nose deep before you know it, F."

"Oh, I'd know it, B. Trust me."

She laughed all the way into the shower.

Chapter Four

Faith was doing her best not to look sullen, but it was hard. She kept telling herself that at least it wasn't "Formal Night", but since "Smart Casual Night" sucked just fine all by itself, she didn't exactly see how the official title mattered. Her tan pants, or pardon her all to hell – her tan slacks – were stupid, even though Buffy swore they were cut perfectly and made her look good. Her white shirt…blouse, was even stupider, but at least she'd figured out how to fix it up a little. She'd unbuttoned about twenty thousand buttons and was feeling pretty good until she came out of the bathroom and Buffy had insisted on buttoning up all but the top three.

"Faith, you can't look like an uncomfortable hooker at dinner."

"Be a big step up from how I feel."

"You look really nice, so stop being silly. Besides, you only have to wear this for dinner, then we'll come back and change for patrol."

"What? Ya don't wanna wear your flower dress to do Slayer shit?"

"It's so pretty I'd like to, but four out of five Slayers recommend stylish, yet practical pants instead. Now come on, walk me to dinner and try to look happy."

Faith didn't miss how Buffy tucked her arm through hers, letting Faith lead.

"And besides, it won't be long before you'll be getting your turn-down chocolate. There's plenty of good stuff to look forward to tonight even though it's a Monday."

Faith visibly perked up. Buffy was right: it wasn't like she was headed to her execution or stuck with Kennedy's company. It was just dinner, and she was definitely hungry and ready to eat. The night didn't have to be a total loss of loser stuff. There were plenty of good things coming: food, chocolate, getting out of her clown costume, and then maybe, just maybe, finally getting to do some real Slayer business.

As for dressing up, she knew they couldn't keep going to the same place. They were supposed to be getting noticed by as many people as possible and that meant tonight they were eating in the Vista Dining Room. It was a lot fancier than the Lido Restaurant, but the dress code still wasn't formal and Faith was thanking her lucky stars for that.

Besides, wearing slacks, a blouse, and light brown sandals weren't the worst things she'd ever done in the name of her job. And even though she felt way less than casual or smart in her getup, well, being a Slayer wasn't a job for sissies. These kinds of situations were why they paid her the big bucks…or why they would once she tore Giles a new one for getting her into the current mess she was in.

The craziest part of the whole deal was that even though Faith would have bet money that Buffy would have teased her relentlessly about her outfit, Buffy had actually been really good about it. She'd gone out of her way to set Faith at ease: helping her pick out which clothes to wear, helping her get into them, and complimenting her repeatedly and easily.

"You look great, Faith. If you'd just stop scowling, no one would even know anything was wrong."

"Yeah, but…"

"But nothing. You're absolutely beautiful and you could wear a paper bag and look stunning. It's one of the reasons I married you."

That comment had made Faith laugh, and with the promise of turndown chocolate and demon killing looming large, she felt way better about dressing like a loser. Besides, she was undercover, it wasn't like she was really a loser, not like Buffy was. Although if looking like that was "losing"…well, it just wasn't, plain and simple.

Buffy looked like just what she was: the very definition of pretty, and it was a responsibility she carried easily for every other supposedly pretty girl in the world. She was also exactly what she didn't look like: the toughest bad ass on the planet, and she wore that just as well as she wore her quasi-fancy dress with the little flowers all over it. As far as Faith could tell, Buffy was nothing short of amazing in every possible way.

Somehow the colors in her dress brought out the green of her eyes, and Faith had never seen that particular shade before, not anywhere. It was so unique that it was hard to look away from. Warm, inviting, and seeming to promise the answer to some great mystery if only Faith would stare into it long enough. She forced herself to stop.

"You look great, B."

"Really?"

She said it happily, but shyly too, and Faith laughed.

"Yeah, like it's some big surprise."

They walked to the elevator and began their journey down to the main deck. It didn't take long for it to become crowded as they stopped at each floor to pick up more passengers. They edged closer to make room, and two floors into it, Buffy sighed and leaned her head onto Faith's shoulder.

She smelled like flowers blowing in a sun drenched field, and Faith inhaled deeply before kissing the top of her head. She wrapped her arm around Buffy's waist, pulling her tight against her, and Buffy smiled as she fit snugly against Faith and watched the lighted numbers descend.

The Neptune Lounge concierge – Stan, Buffy's new best friend, although still on the suspect list – had made them some great reservations. They were seated right away at a private table with a view on the upper level, although the ocean wasn't really seeable. It looked like outer space, all a peaceful blackness as far as they could see, but the restaurant itself was beautiful and the nearby outside area was festively lit.

Everywhere they looked there were women laughing, drinking, eating, and just generally enjoying themselves. Soft music played, and although it wasn't anything that either Slayer would ever listen to on her own, it was the perfect soundtrack for the romantic setting. Buffy was clearly excited as she looked around.

"This place is so pretty. I love that it's two-stories and look at how beautiful the ceiling is. It's just like the stars up there."

"Yeah, but don't act like it's got the penguin statues at the pool beat."

Buffy laughed as she peered down over the railing:

"No, those are a whole level of ridiculous that nothing else can ever touch."

She was so cute, and Faith knew anybody in love would find her irresistible. She leaned over and kissed her, capturing one of her hands as she pulled back slowly.

"Guess it was worth gettin' dressed up so you could…"

The waitress appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

"Good evening, ladies. My name is Shonda and I'll be your primary server this evening. May I start you off with a drink?"

She was cute with short dark hair and even darker eyes, and when Buffy flashed her a full powered "Buffy" smile, Shonda smiled back.

"I'd like something fruity and fun. What would you recommend?"

"Jack Daniels for me, and so's ya know, Shonda: she's a real lightweight."

Shonda laughed:

"Got a sister like that, so I know just the thing. I'll be right back with your drinks."

She left to fill the order and Buffy looked casually around the room.

"I see several people I recognize."

"Recognize the big winner from the blackjack table today?"

"Hmm…no, I don't see her anywhere."

"B, ya really think this is the time and place to fuck with me?"

Buffy looked at her, taking in the threatening glare that wasn't very effective since Faith's dimples were already on display.

"Oh right, that was you, wasn't it? You cleared…how much again?"

"Three hundred and ninety seven fucking dollars, baby."

"I have to admit it's impressive, especially if I forget how much you lost yesterday."

"Hey, I cleared at least a couple hundred, so give it up."

Buffy leaned over and kissed her as ordered.

"Happy now?"

"Yeah, feeling pretty good."

She held Buffy right where she was and nuzzled into her neck.

"You see'em, B?"

"Yep, they're at stupid o'clock looking around for us."

"Anybody else actin' shady?"

Buffy kissed her on the cheek and sat back.

"Just us."

"They asking the check-in guy?"

"Uh-huh. Carmen's smiling big and slipping him some money."

Faith wanted to look, but she couldn't risk turning around.

"They getting tailed?"

"Well, there's a sex slave trading demon behind them. Do you think that means anything important?"

"B..."

"I'm not an idiot, I think I'd mention if they were being followed."

"Did I say you…"

"Buffy! Faith! Hi!"

"Smile, Faith."

With fake smiles in place, they watched as Nancy and Carmen approached their table.

"What are the odds we'd run into you guys?"

"Well, Carmen, since there's only like five rest…Ow!"

Buffy's answer smoothly covered Faith's reaction to the kick she'd delivered under the table:

"'Wow' is right, Faith! It's so crazy!"

Nancy looked longingly at the two empty chairs at their table:

"We're dying to eat here, but we couldn't get a reservation. Carmen talked us in the door just so we could get a look at the place."

"You're welcome to join us if you'd like."

Carmen flashed Buffy every single one of her blindingly white teeth:

"Really? I don't know…We'd hate to intrude, Buffy…and Faith."

"Yeah? Then see ya aro…Ow!"

Buffy laughed loudly after she delivered another kick, and coupled with the commotion created by Shonda's timely arrival, Faith's yelp seemed to go unnoticed.

"Yep, our drinks are here, Faith! She just gets so excited; she loves to drink so much."

All eyes turned to Faith, the Alcoholic.

"Yeah, but not to the point of bein' a drunk or hittin' my wife upside the head."

"Sorry, baby, that came out wrong."

Shonda smoothly moved on:

"A Jack Daniels, and for you my hometown specialty: a 'Hurricane'."

Buffy smiled:

"Ooh, it's all pink and happy looking."

She took a sip:

"And delicious too!"

"I thought you'd enjoy it. Shall I bring two more place settings?"

Nancy looked at the newlyweds hopefully:

"We don't want to bother…"

"Faith and I would love to have dinner with you."

"Then that's settled! Ladies…"

Faith had no idea why the idea excited Shonda so much, but it obviously did. Before Faith could get up to sit next to Buffy, Carmen claimed the seat, leaving Nancy the chair next to Faith. Shonda took their drink order, then disappeared as if life were nothing but grand.

"Thank you; this is so nice of you to do."

"It's our pleasure, isn't it, Faith?"

The look in Buffy's eye was a clear reminder that they were on the job, but Faith found that fact didn't really make it any easier not to reach across the table and smack the shit out of Carmen.

"Yeah, what B said."

The meal went great. They ordered delicious food, the service was perfect, the conversation never ebbed, and Faith could feel the headache trying to build behind her eyes. The problem was the same one it had been that afternoon when they'd first met Carmen: She had the hots for Buffy.

The day had started off as a virtual repeat of the day before. They were still out at sea and they began with a leisurely breakfast, followed by lounging away the morning hours at the pool before retreating to their cabin for lunch. Afterwards they'd strolled around the ship, making it all the way up to the uppermost deck as they completed their investigation from the night before.

They leaned on the railing, just enjoying the view.

"Pretty up here, yeah?"

"It's beautiful, Faith, and what a breeze."

"Blow ya right overboard if you're not careful. What do ya think?"

"Yep, it's almost like they're deliberate hand and foot holds."

They both looked down at the side of the ship and the trail that seemed to lead to a window or door of some kind on the Navigation Deck.

"Be a hard climb, 'specially with a knocked out woman with ya."

"Yeah, but a Slayer or demon could probably manage."

Faith nodded, then looked around:

"I could head down for a looksee."

"In broad daylight and with people all around?"

"Yeah, guess not."

They stared out at the ocean for a while.

"Seems like a stupid way to go though. Gotta be an easier place."

"Agreed. We can study the blueprints tonight before we head out for patrol again."

"So we've done all we can for now?"

"I suppose, I mean…Hey!"

"Let's motorvate!"

Faith grabbed her hand and headed for the elevator:

"Where are we going?"

"Casino! With the shit luck I had yesterday, I oughta clean up today."

It had all been great at first. Faith had managed to talk Buffy into playing too, explaining the rules and helping her place her bets, and when Buffy won her first hand she went insane. She yelled as she leapt from her chair, did some weird and lame dance that had the dealer laughing her ass off, then kissed Faith passionately. She sat back down, declaring herself some sort of Blackjack prodigy, then proceeded to lose the next seven hands in a row.

"Okay, kissing you was clearly bad luck, Faith."

"No way! I'm winnin' now, so it's all good, baby."

"Okay, but just remember that half of your winnings are mine."

"Just half?"

They were both laughing when Carmen appeared.

She was stunningly beautiful and Faith looked her up and down before turning back to the game. Buffy said hello, which was only normal since as far as Faith could tell, Carmen was standing inside Buffy's shirt with her, she was so close. That was when the drooling started.

It was so bold, so out in the open, so over the top that Faith figured her for cruising solo and being hammered. It seemed pretty clear that Buffy wasn't there alone, yet Carmen behaved as if Faith were invisible. The question as far as Faith could see was: Why was Carmen hitting on a married woman right in front of her wife and how soon was she going to be meeting that wife up close and personal?

Faith stayed calm, although she was starting to slam her chips down on the table instead of using the carefree toss she'd been going with. Carmen was talking almost nonstop as she stood next to Buffy, having wedged herself sideways in between Faith and Buffy's chair. After admiring her ass for a couple of minutes, which was a damn fine ass for sure, Faith decided to enter the contest.

She tapped Carmen on the back a little harder than was necessary to get her attention:

"Move. I wanna see my wife."

She smiled tightly, then took the empty seat on the other side of Buffy, introducing herself as she went:

"Hi, I'm Carmen, just like the character on 'The L Word'. In fact, Ilene based that character on me, so any resemblance is purely on purpose."

Buffy smiled and turned in her chair to face Carmen:

"You know the creator of 'The L Word'?"

"You could say that. We dated for almost a year."

Faith rolled her eyes:

"Yeah, and me and Angelina used to hit it all the time."

Carmen smiled at Faith, baring every one of her six hundred large, white teeth like a gorilla right before the attack. She then turned her attention back to Buffy, praising her "delightfully fun" name, calling her particular shade of eye color "stunning", and generally ignoring Faith like she was some ugly girl who couldn't get a date to the prom.

Faith went back to playing, knocking back her drink and irritatedly shaking the empty bottle above her head:

"Hey! Little service!'

Carmen was explaining to Buffy how she'd always been afraid to play anything except the slot machines, and Faith couldn't believe how helpless and scared the poor killer chimp was.

"Would you help me until I get the hang of it, Buffy?"

"Sure, it's not that hard. Faith just taught me, although the double downing and splitting are still kind of confusing."

Buffy had to help her count to twenty-one each and every hand because poor, meek, terrified Carmen couldn't seem to manage numbers in the double digits. She chatted between every deal, all complete with way too many up close and personal touches. She laughed at everything Buffy said, making sure to throw her thick, smooth, shiny brown hair all over the place like she was in a wind tunnel. Her tongue peeked out and licked her lips constantly as she stared at Buffy's, and she made sure to stretch with her breasts thrust out just as many times as she could get away with.

Faith did her best to stay focused on the game and stay seated, but when Buffy's new girlfriend started grabbing Buffy's arm and hand with every comment, she found her concentration wavering. As Faith sat there, Carmen actually had the nerve to run her hand along Buffy's bare arm…all the way up and all the way down.

"Wow, your skin's beautiful, so soft and smooth. What moisturizer do you use? Is it a total body lotion?"

Before Faith could say anything, Carmen "accidentally" spilled her drink down the front of Buffy's white shirt and the headlights were on high beams for all to see. Over Buffy's mild objections, she insisted on cleaning it up herself and Faith had reached her limit.

"Hey, wanna go paw and slobber all over some other girl?"

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, I have been for like twenty minutes now, and I'm fresh out of excuses. Beat it."

Buffy was using a napkin to dab at her top, and she looked up at Faith with surprise. Faith never even glanced her way as she stood.

Carmen got to her feet too, but she showed no other signs of moving, confident that her larger size would somehow give her an advantage if things got physical. Faith's eyes lit up as she imagined the beat down she was about to deliver.

"Oh bitch, you got no clue."

"No, puta, you don't."

Buffy quickly slid between them, facing Faith.

"Whoa girls, hey! We're supposed to be having fun."

Faith tried to step around Buffy:

"And we're gonna be in just a sec…"

"Baby, come on. Let's just keep playing."

Faith reluctantly pulled her eyes from Carmen to look at Buffy:

"Sounds good, but if she lays one more finger on you, I'm gonna snap it off and shove it up her…"

"Carmen! I won seventy-three dollars on the slot machine!"

A redheaded blur rushed into Carmen's arms and while they hugged and squealed, Buffy made a face at Faith like she was going too far, which was something the security guard who appeared seconds later seconded.

"Is there a problem here, Georgie?"

"The dealer shook her head:

"Not a serious one, right girls?"

Faith looked at her:

"Long as she stops maulin' my wife, we're good."

The guard nodded his head in Carmen's direction:

"Looks like she's got her own woman to maul. If I come back, you're all leaving."

The blur turned out to be "Nancy Conrad", Carmen Hernandez's significant other of four years and counting. They were both attractive, apart and together, and there was no doubt about it. Nancy was more the classic all-American type with her strawberry blonde hair and light blue eyes, and Carmen was the dark beauty, all black and blue and red all over…at least that's how Faith was going to describe her slutty dead body to the police sketch artist.

Nancy offered to buy them a drink with her winnings, and Buffy had accepted, dragging Faith behind her into the bar. Nancy and Buffy did the introduction thing, exchanging basic info and then going on and on and on about how much fun every aspect of the cruise was. Carmen joined in while Faith stared down into her bottle and imagined busting it upside somebody's L Word-like head. She might resemble Carmen, but as far as Faith could tell, she was Jenny all the way.

She mumbled before she took a swig of her beer:

"Bring on the circus manatees."

"What?"

Nancy was smiling at her uncertainly, Carmen was staring daggers with nothing but certainty, and the only one who had heard Faith clearly was not at all happy as she covered for her:

"Faith was just wishing we could see manatees. She loves them like I do dolphins."

That sent Nancy off and running about the vacation they'd taken two years ago to Florida.

"They're so gentle and slow, the poor things always get hit by boat propellers and…"

Fifteen more mind numbing minutes passed before Buffy stood and said they regretfully had to go. Carmen was up in a flash, her smile huge as she took Buffy's hand in both of hers:

"I so hope we see you again."

That left Nancy and Faith paired off, and to call it "awkward" didn't remotely do it justice.

"Faith, it was lovely to meet you. Perhaps we can do it again soon."

"Yeah, I'll be holdin' my breath."

And with that, the ordeal was over.

Buffy and Faith walked back to their cabin without speaking, and Faith could barely contain herself until they were sure their suite was secure.

"What the fucking fuck was that?"

"Faith…"

"Why'd you let her rub all over you? No way…"

"Faith…"

"…can you be so fucking stupid that you didn't know she was…"

"Faith!"

"What?"

Buffy was looking at her with a mixture of surprise and irritation:

"Of course I knew she was hitting on me."

"And what? You liked it?"

"That's not the point. I was…"

"So you did like it?!"

"Hello, would you stop yelling at me?"

Faith stomped off into the bedroom, Buffy following close behind. Faith spun on her quickly:

"I don't get it. You expect me just to stand there and…"

"Look, I know there are no guidelines here, but you were definitely overplaying the jealousy thing."

"I wasn't overplaying shit. There's no way I'm gonna just sit there while some slut hits on my girl right in front of me."

Buffy nodded and tried to keep her voice calm.

"I get that, but threatening to hit her was too much. I mean, I knew you were just acting, but you could have scared her off."

"..."

"They could easily be who we're looking for, especially when you factor in how Nancy didn't seem at all bothered by anything that was going on. I think they've done stuff like that before, you know?"

Faith sat down on the bed, trying to regain her calm.

"Maybe I shoulda toned it down a little."

Buffy nodded understandingly.

"It's an easy mistake to make. I mean, at least you were in character, even if it was a little too much."

"Yeah, guess I kinda went overboard."

"Good one! Besides, it's not like we're professional actors. Hey, I've got an idea: why don't we try out the whirlpool? That should help us unwind before dinner."

"Sounds good. Just let the jets work their magic while the ocean passes us by, wash the Carmen cooties offa ya…"

"You're not going to let it go, are you?"

"Not any time soon."

Buffy headed into the bathroom:

"Could you believe when she threw her drink on me?"

"Sure seemed to get you excited."

Buffy laughed as she tossed Faith her suit:

"It was ice cold!"

"Says you."

"Can I help it if I'm all woman?"

"Thing I can't figure is why she was botherin' with you when I was available."

Buffy's voice was muffled as she changed into her bikini.

"It's probably that 'all woman' thing."

Faith was tying on her top as she walked towards the bathroom.

"Oh right, like I'm chopped liver in the woman department."

They met in the doorway and Buffy was shaking her head sadly.

"No, you're fine, I'm just wicked finer."

"You must have sexstroke again."

"Maybe…Carmen did get me all fired up."

Faith's moved closer:

"Better watch your step, B."

Buffy laughed at Faith's dark expression:

"You could have been a great actress. Come on, let's go break in that whirlpool."

Buffy had been nothing but right: the whirlpool was just what they'd needed to unwind. All they had to do was flip a switch, get in, lean back, and let the water do all the work. Although it seemed like they had total privacy, they avoided talking about anything Slayer related just in case the wind could carry their conversation someplace they didn't want it to go. Instead they watched the ocean roll by as they drifted in and out of a light sleep.

When they'd had enough of unwinding, they went inside and began getting ready for dinner. They talked as they moved around the bedroom and bathroom, going over their strategy for the best way to draw two possible demons right to them.

"I made sure they knew what time we eat, so if we see them, we need to be friendly. It might mean they're hunting us, which would be nothing but of the good, but it could also be innocent too. If we don't run into them, we'll find out which room they're in and do some snooping around."

"Yeah."

Faith was still in the bathroom, and although Buffy couldn't see her, she could easily hear her irritation.

"What does that mean?"

"What the hell does it sound like it means? I said: 'Yeah'."

She strode into the bedroom and Buffy looked at her in the vanity mirror:

"Hey, don't take it out on me because you have to get a little dressed up."

"It's not 'a little', and I just agreed with you."

"Well it didn't sound like you were very happy about it."

"Maybe because I'm not happy about it, Buffy. I gotta go make nice with some bitch who's either a scumbag demon or just a regular scumbag who doesn't know the boundaries when it comes to my wife. Then there's her stupid as shit partner who doesn't care if her woman goes after mine right in front of her face, plus I gotta wear some fucked up shit that…"

Buffy got up and walked over to her.

"First of all: they might be evil demons you can go all Slayer on, so there's absolutely no downside there. Second of all: the clothes really suit you. You look fantastic except…"

"What are you doin'?"

"You can't have all of these buttons undone."

"Gotta or I'm gonna look like somebody's grandma."

Buffy laughed and continued refastening, her fingers brushing against some interesting places.

"Faith, you can't look like an uncomfortable hooker at dinner."

And that was how Faith had ended up sitting in her Casual Smart outfit eating dinner with two of the most irritating bitches on the planet. Buffy and Nancy were talking up a storm, and it hadn't taken Faith long to add her to the: "Punch in the Face" list…unless she got a shot to cut her head off at some point soon.

Nancy was the kind of person who was downright nosy, all under the pretense of being friendly, and it was just lucky that Buffy could pretend to be an idiot who liked that sort of thing. Faith knew for sure that she herself didn't have anywhere near that kind of patience; she could barely manage to find the patience to play her own small part.

"We've been married for one month and three days, but we've been together for years."

"How come you're not wearing rings?"

Faith bristled instantly at the sound of her voice:

"'Cause we don't want to…Carmen."

Faith felt the all too familiar kick under the table and reined herself in.

"And because we're havin' special ones made."

"They're just beautiful! Faith came into some unexpected money and she's been spoiling me rotten ever since."

Nancy was excited:

"That's wonderful! Business or…"

"Dead as a doornail aunt I never met."

That seemed to deflate Nancy's excitement slightly, but she recovered quickly:

"Oh, I'm sorry, Faith. If you don't mind me asking – was there no one else she could give her money to?"

"Maybe some cats, I guess."

"Faith's the last of her family. She's been on her own for years."

Nancy expression looked like she'd lost her own aunt, and she patted Faith's arm consolingly:

"Oh my, that's so awful. Buffy, I hope your family somehow fills the void."

Buffy shook her head sadly, her hand subtly crowding Nancy's off of Faith's.

"They would if they could, but I lost both my parents in a car accident six years ago. I'm an only child like my mom was. Dad had a brother I supposedly met when I was about five years old, but I don't really remember him. He was an alcoholic, so he's probably long dead. It's just Faith and I now."

"That's so sad, but at least you've found each other. Carm and I both come from large families, although it's been a bit of a struggle getting Carmen's family to accept our relationship."

Carmen nodded and took Nancy's hand in her own:

"Slowly but surely they're getting there. They haven't cut us off or anything like that, but it's been difficult at times."

Nancy kissed her cheek.

"They invite us for the holidays now, so we really can't complain. They even bought me Christmas presents last year!"

"It's much better now, but I'd still love to stay home one year – just Nance and I."

"It does sound cozy, but I'm not sure our families would ever allow it. What do you guys do? Go to friends or just stay at home?"

Faith saw it now – these were obviously the demons, or at the very least the demons' "helpers". They were definitely pumping for information, trying to see if anyone would miss them if they suddenly disappeared. And Buffy was playing along perfectly, smoothly spilling their pre-arranged cover story like a professional liar.

"We haven't really made many friends yet, I'm afraid. We're still at the hotel trying to figure out where we should settle."

Nancy leaned in, clearly riveted by the most boring, isolated couple in the world.

"Oh?"

"I just graduated from Ohio State last year, but now that Faith has had this unexpected windfall, we decided I should take some time off before I start looking for a teaching job."

Carmen oozed all over Buffy, and Faith started fantasizing about throwing her through one of the gigantic windows that led to the ocean.

"A teacher? Oh Buffy, that's so fantastic!"

Nancy tried to be the sane one:

"What grade do you teach?"

"Elementary school. I really love children."

They'd decided on that age group because Buffy was confident she could answer almost any question a ten year old could.

But there were no questions. Carmen was too busy imagining having sex with Buffy on her teacher's desk, and her slimy expression said everything there was to say. All that was missing was the "bow-chicka-bow-wow" porn music as Carmen got ready to teach the teacher a thing or two.

"And you, Faith?"

"…"

"Faith?"

Nancy spoke up a little louder as she noticed Faith's attention seemed to be concentrated on Carmen, but her voice wasn't what brought Faith's focus back to the conversation. It was Buffy's hand squeezing her knee underneath the table.

"What?"

Carmen rolled her eyes and took over the interrogation:

"She asked what you do for a living."

"Serial killer, but I'm on a break."

Buffy's hand squeezed Faith's thigh this time and Faith knew there was going to be a bruise.

"Just kidding. Nothin' special, kinda just drift from job to job."

"Big surprise."

Carmen muttered it too softly for anybody except two Slayers to hear, and Nancy oblivious to any insult, was all smiles as she carried on. Faith envied her ignorance because she'd tensed and was ready to blow until she felt Buffy's grip tighten until it hurt.

"So how did you two meet?"

Faith sipped down the last of her drink:

"Was a janitor at B's college."

"Ah, you're both Buckeyes."

Buffy didn't have a clue, and her expression made it clear to Faith that she thought it was an insult of some kind. Faith spoke up quickly:

"That's us, OSU Buckeyes 'til we die."

"Nuts…figures."

Carmen newest comment under her breath was just another thing that she was going to be paying for somewhere down the line if Faith got her way. Nancy barely paused for air as she kept the questions coming:

"So you're in the Honeymoon Suite. Is it as wonderful as the brochures make it out to be?"

"It's fabulous, Faith spared no expense."

"Only the best for my girl."

She leaned over for a quick, but passionate kiss.

"That must be dreamy. Honeymooning in the best room on the ship, nothing but warm weather. Do you still live in Ohio?"

"Yep, we headed to Cleveland after I graduated, but now we're planning to move someplace warmer."

"Can't say I blame you there. Oh gosh, look at the time! Carm and I have imposed on you newlyweds far too long."

"We enjoyed it, didn't we, Sweetie?"

"Oh yeah, I had a great time, B."

Nancy was practically shooting moonbeams and fairies out of her ass:

"Maybe we could all get together again sometime?"

Buffy nodded all happy and friendly:

"That would be great."

Carmen smiled and covered Buffy's hand with her own:

"Buffy, please call us anytime, and we'll work something out. We're in cabin 5190 on the 'Verandah Deck'."

Faith reached over and placed her hand on top of the hand Carmen was using to hold Buffy's.

"You can count on hearin' from us."

Buffy slid free and tried not to laugh when Faith didn't let Carmen pull back very easily.

"Night…Carmen."

With an extra special squeeze, Faith let go and pulled Buffy up, wrapping her arm around her as she did. Buffy was perky right until the end:

"Thanks for a great time! We'll definitely see you guys later!"

Faith had to admire her dedication and stamina, but she couldn't wait to get out of there. They walked back to their cabin, nodding to the staff as well as the other passengers they passed. They spoke loudly about how great the food and company had been, how beautiful the restaurant was, how pretty the ship looked at dark, and how much they were looking forward to the rest of the night.

Evidently the couple staying across from them had the same idea. Their door was being held ajar by a large basket of goodies, allowing the Slayers to get an eyeful of them enjoying one another's company.

"Whoa, that's gotta be rated XXX."

"Faith, don't keep staring."

"Why not? It's like free porn."

"Come on."

"Don't ya wanna pick up some pointers?"

Buffy flushed and pulled on Faith's arm:

"If that were us, I'd want…Let's just go…please."

"But B, they're just…Fine, hang on a sec…"

Faith slid the basket a few more inches into the cabin and the door automatically shut, preserving what little dignity they still retained in Penthouse Suite #7046. Buffy already had the door to #7045 open and she gestured for Faith to enter ahead of her into the PG rated Honeymoon Suite.

Buffy shut the door, double locking it behind them. They'd only had one visitor, and although the replenished ice bucket and late hour indicated it had simply been their turndown service, they couldn't afford to assume anything. After their routine check confirmed that they were surveillance free, Faith bolted for the bedroom.

She came back into the dining area just a couple of minutes later, her mouth full of chocolate and wearing nothing but her bra and panties. Even her feet were bare.

"B, ya want some?"

Buffy was busy trying to spread out the blueprints of the ship, frowning as she tried to secure the corners.

"B, you want your chocolate? They gave us kisses again and Maria really came through with the extras."

"Huh? Oh, no, you go ahead."

"Thanks!"

Buffy glanced at her and had to smile. Faith was adorable as she crammed two more into her mouth and smiled back, just managing not to drool chocolate onto her chest.

"What?"

"…Nothing."

Faith looked down at herself as Buffy continued to stare.

"Oh sorry. Shoulda got dressed or put on my robe."

"Please, you're way more covered than when you're in your suit."

"Good point. Here, got one left."

She unwrapped the kiss and offered it to Buffy who opened her mouth since her hands were full of blueprints and blueprint holder downers.

"Damn, B, want I should eat if for ya too?"

"It might be nice if you'd ever help out."

"I am, I'm providing you with chocolate."

Buffy figured it was fifty/fifty at best as to whether Faith was really going to give up the last of her kisses. Despite having just said that she didn't want any, now that the unwrapped treat was right there, Buffy was dying for it. Her heart was pounding hard, her eyes were open wide, and her blood was practically racing through her veins. She really wanted that kiss.

Faith hesitated for a few seconds, then moved in, her face concentrating on Buffy's mouth. She carefully placed the chocolate on Buffy's tongue, but Buffy's lips came down a little too fast, capturing a somewhat unsteady finger and thumb. They both froze, and Faith's eyes flew up to meet Buffy's as a shock of electricity seemed to spark in the air between them. They each pulled back at the same time.

"Oh...um…oops. Guess I'm not used to being fed, unless it's grapes, of course."

"Hang on, I'll go get a giant feather to fan ya with, Princess."

The familiar banter was in place, but they still stared at each other without moving until a knock on the door broke the spell and put them both on the alert.

"I got point, B."

"You're back-up, Nearly Naked Girl."

"Always gotta be the boss, don't ya?"

But she stood off to the side, ready as Buffy opened the door to a tall man in a steward's uniform.

"Good evening, ma'am. I have a communiqué from the Captain."

"Oh, for us?"

"Yes, Mrs. Lehane. Have a nice night, ma'am."

With a tip of his hat he was gone, leaving Buffy to stare at the envelope with confusion as she closed the door.

"What the hell's that, B?"

"No clue. Let me open it."

"So? What's it say?"

Buffy read silently, then began smiling:

"We've been invited to dine at the Captain's table!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah! This is so exciting! I wonder how they chose us?"

"B, we're in the swanky room. The rich always get the perks."

Buffy nodded as she re-read the invitation:

"Right, right, of course."

"Do we gotta go formal?"

"It says: 'formal attire preferred'."

Faith grinned big:

"'Preferred ain't 'required', so I can wear the stupid shit I had on tonight."

"But you have that other pretty outfit you could..."

"Laugh riot, Blondie."

Buffy smiled at her and tried to stop looking at all of the smooth, tan skin on display.

"I'm just saying, F."

"So when we gotta eat with this big shot?"

"Wednesday night at eight."

Faith nodded:

"Good, means we're free all tomorrow."

"Yep, and if we get lucky, maybe he'll give us a tour..."

"…and let us get a look at where we're not supposed to go. Perfect. Okay, let's get tonight's patrol up and running."

Buffy placed the invitation carefully on the side table and then joined Faith at the blueprints.

"Okay as you know, I'm not the best at reading these, but Giles left instructions…"

"That Red makes sense of. I see her notes on the sides."

"Thank God, because I need instructions like: 'Take ten baby steps, then look in the left corner of the ceiling."

Faith bent down to read Giles' impeccable writing:

"'Approximately 3.25 meters, then direct your attention to the singular left quadrant of the northern port'…What the fuck is he talkin' about?"

"You know Giles, he's being extremely clear and precise and totally un-understandable."

"Guy's really hardcore English."

"And when you add in he's a Watcher…"

"…we'd be dead in the water if we didn't have Red."

Buffy laughed:

"Have you always been so funny?"

"Mostly, just not with you. Gimme the checklist."

Buffy handed her the pre-made sheet provided by Giles and Willow, and they continued looking over the blueprints, both pointing out spots of interest they'd yet to visit and trying to figure the best way to go about their search. After twenty minutes of studying, Buffy clapped her hands.

"Okay, I think we've got our plan."

"Yeah, should be able to hit most of these tonight."

"When we pull over tomorrow, we'll call them and give them what we've got."

"Which so far isn't much."

"No, but Willow will find something."

"My money's on G-Man. So? Time's a-wastin', let's go be Slayers, girlfriend."

Buffy rolled up the blueprints and put them back in the hidden compartment of her suitcase. She took off her dress and hung it carefully on a hanger, then picked up Faith's clothes from the bed and floor.

"Would it have killed you to hang these up?"

"Yeah, probably. 'Sides, they got a laundry service."

"Well, we'll need to get yours cleaned for…"

"B, can we stop talking and thinking about clothes? I wanna do somethin'!"

"Sorry. Just let me use the bathroom and finish dressing."

"Hurry up, will ya?"

Faith tucked her shirt into her jeans and pulled on her sneakers. She grabbed a banana and began tossing it into the air, stabbing it downward like a stake every time she caught it.

"Wish we could hit Carmen's room tonight."

"What?"

"Said I wish we could check out your girlfriend's room tonight."

Buffy was brushing some imaginary wrinkles off her shirt front.

"I know, but tomorrow's our best bet when they're out sightseeing."

"Wouldn't mind them bein' in when we stop by."

"They could be innocent, you know. Are we ready?"

"Yeah, we're way past it."

Faith grabbed the room key and Buffy stuck the "dime" into its usual place.

"Do you have the notepad, Faith?"

"And the lock pick and the pen. Can we just go already?"

"Wow, what's with the grouchy?"

"I'm sick of waitin' while you drag your feet and defend the innocent."

"I'm not dragging my feet and stop trying to boss me around."

"Stop movin' like an old lady then."

"I'm just making sure we're prepared."

"Oh thank God you're here, Buffy."

Buffy shoved her from behind:

"Shut up, Faith."

"Hey, don't hit me when my back's turned!"

'Hit you'? I barely touched you, you big baby."

"Already all bruised up from you beatin' the shit outta me at dinner."

"You mean when you kept trying to screw everything up?"

Faith opened the door and gestured at Buffy:

"You go. Can't risk turnin' my back on you."

"Keep it up, Faith and I'm going to…"

"What, B? Put gum in my hair? Trip me on the playground?"

"How about punch you into next week?"

"Ooh, scary. The Slayer's gettin' tough."

They walked out into the hallway and when Faith turned to close the door, Buffy barely stopped herself from shoving her again.

"You are so irritating."

Faith spun to look at her, but her gaze swept past Buffy.

"We got company."

Faith pushed her up against the wall, using leverage and her Slayer strength to prevent her from moving away.

Buffy tried to switch their positions, but quickly realized that without a full on brawl, that wasn't going to happen. Several people were almost on them and Buffy made her body relax.

"I wish I could kick you in the crotch right now."

"Yeah, but ya can't. Make it look like you love me, baby."

Buffy considered ripping Faith's lips off and spitting them onto the carpeted floor, but that thought disappeared almost the instant their mouths touched. The heat raced through her and her grip tightened around Faith's back, her right hand tangling in the thick brown hair to hold her right where she was. Their tongues teased back and forth and Faith pressed forward, her left hand pulling Buffy's leg up and encouraging it to wrap around Faith's waist.

They both groaned softly and Buffy's other hand came up to frame Faith's face as the kiss intensified. They finally eased back, their breathing erratic and heavy as they stood there, foreheads touching. Buffy's leg slowly slid back to the floor and their arms unwound from each other.

"Everybody's gone, Faith."

"Yeah."

They stood looking at each other, both of them flushed and confused as they tried to undaze themselves.

"Jesus, B…"

"I know."

"We don't slay somethin' soon…"

"Room #7046 won't be able to teach us a thing."

"Nope."

Buffy put on her game face:

"Okay, so let's go check out those spots, then maybe we can work out."

Faith nodded eagerly:

"They got that track and gym on the Lido deck. Might be deserted later."

"If not, we can always move the furniture around and spar in our room."

"Yeah…yeah that would work, B."

"So we're good then!"

"We're great!"

They headed for the stairs, trying to refocus on their assignment…their hands just itching to entwine.

Chapter Five

Buffy was doing her best not to get irritated, but with all of the street noise and the in and out connection, it wasn't easy.

"Can you say that again?"

"I said that we should be able to have something helpful by tomorrow or Thursday at the latest!"

Of course just as she'd yelled that information, the connection became crystal clear, always enjoyable for a Slayer utilizing her Slayer hearing.

"OW!"

"What?"

"Just had the volume turned up too high, Will. So what's the temperature back home?"

Willow laughed:

"Is it the 'rub it in' part of the call already?"

"Yep, so let's hear it."

"It's currently fourteen degrees and snowing. Happy now?"

"Deliriously."

Willow's voice turned conspiratorial:

"So Buff, how's…you know."

"Being surrounded by lesbians?"

"Is it all gayed up?"

"Completely! Women are making out everywhere you look, and they're all wearing flannel shirts and tool belts, even when they're playing softball."

"They are? Isn't it too hot to…Oh."

Buffy laughed:

"It's just how I imagined a cruise would be except everybody's a woman. But it's not like that's a problem for us because despite the unfair accusations before we left, both Faith and I are very lesbian friendly."

Buffy could practically hear Willow's blush.

"I know, sorry about that. But you were both acting so weird and…"

"We were acting like we didn't want to be here together."

"And?"

"'And' what?"

"How's all of that going?"

Buffy looked across the narrow street at Faith who was eating an ice cream cone. It was dripping down onto the sidewalk in the heat as she held it away from her body, and a stray dog was licking it up, its tail wagging at full speed.

"Surprisingly well. I threw her overboard on the first day, so it's been a real breeze."

Willow laughed:

"I guess that means Xander wins the office pool."

"No, it's been okay for the most part. She's been way less obnoxious than usual, although we still have our moments."

Faith reached down to pet the dog with her free hand, and she ended up giving it what was left of her cone. She walked back to the stand to buy another one, her new best friend following closely behind her. Her white shorts made her legs look tan and fit, while her red sleeveless top let her bare, lean arms swing freely…

"Buffy?"

"What? I didn't hear that."

"I asked you what it's like pretending to be married to her."

"Well, I found out she's a great kisser, that's for sure. We kind of got over the weird part of it pretty fast, although that's its own kind of weird that's really kind of weird. Plus we're not slaying anything, which doesn't exactly help."

"What do you mean it 'doesn't exactly help'? Are you saying that you're…you know…"

Willow's voice dropped to a hushed whisper:

"…h-o-r-n-y?"

"I'm not exactly…Oh my God, that's so cute!"

"What?"

"Faith just bought a stray dog his own ice cream cone."

"She did?"

"Yep. She gave him the last of hers before, so she went to buy another one and got him one too."

"Did she buy you one?"

Buffy couldn't believe how adorable it was. Faith was crouched at dog level holding his ice cream cone while he licked at it and she somehow managed to do the same with her own. He cooperated with her for a while, but then apparently the temptation was too much. He took all three scoops of ice cream, hanging onto two while the other one hit the sidewalk. He swallowed, then quickly licked the pavement clean as Faith laughed and tossed him his empty cone.

"Buffy?"

"Sorry, what?"

"Did she buy you a cone?"

"I'm getting it when I get done talking to you. It's so hot here, you have to eat it fast."

"Ahhh, so we're back to the rub it in part."

"Willow, you know we never left. Anyway, it's going good here. We've got our suspects and those suspicious spots I told you about. We're going to head back to the boat soon and check everything out."

"Okay, but be careful. Remember – you guys are on your own."

"We're watching out for each other, and no matter what, Faith's always good back-up…I can't believe it!"

"What?"

"Faith just gave the dog the rest of her cone again."

"Wow, she sounds like she's in love."

"I'd better go before she buys him the whole ice cream stand."

"Okay. Tell her I said hi. We'll get right on this intel."

"Thanks, Will. Say hi to everybody for us."

Buffy disconnected the call and walked across the street to join her partner.

"Hey, B. Everything go good?"

"Yep, somehow the info we got is going to help. Who's this?"

"Some little guy from the neighborhood. Ready for a cone now?"

"Yeah, that sounds good."

"Hang here, I'll buy ya one."

She came back with two as well as a large plastic cup full of water, her canine escort matching her stride for stride.

"Here ya go, B. Two scoops of chocolate."

"Thanks. What's with the vanilla one?"

"Guy gave it to me. Guess he fucked up my order."

Faith was trying to look innocent, which only made her look more guilty.

"Gee, and it's a triple scoop. That's quite a mix-up."

"Yeah, but wasn't gonna bust his balls over a cone. Hey, dogs like ice cream, don't they?"

Buffy just managed to keep a straight face:

"I think maybe they do."

"Cool."

She squatted down and held the cup of water for her new pal. She kept the cone out of reach, and even though the dog seemed to know he had a shot at it, he was thirsty. He started slurping it up and Faith turned to Buffy, her voice pitched low.

"Okay, here's the plan..."

"Faith, you don't need to whisper. I don't think he understands what you're saying."

"Just 'cause he's Mexican doesn't mean he can't speak English."

Buffy wasn't sure if she was kidding or not, but either way it was so cute she could barely stand it.

"Let's start heading for the ship. If he follows, I'll toss him the cone and we'll haul it."

"Can I keep mine?"

"Probably. Have to see how fast he can run."

"Well, I hope it's not as fast as us or he's going to be having a major lactose problem."

"Nah, he's a street dog. Guy's got a cast iron stomach on him. "

She tipped the cup to make sure he got the last of the water, then straightened up.

"Okay, me and B are pullin' out. You stay here now."

They took off at a brisk walk, but "stay" obviously wasn't in a street dog's vocabulary, no matter what language he spoke. Faith leaned over until they were face to face:

"Listen, it was nice meetin' ya, but you gotta stay. So stay!"

They walked off again and he trailed close behind, licking up the drops they were dripping in their wake.

"He's not staying, Faith."

"Yeah, I got that. You ready?"

"Just say the word."

"Hey buddy, you want this cone? It's all yours…Go get it."

She threw it and the Slayers took off in the opposite direction, moving fast although at way less than full Slayer speed. They skirted the crowds, and turned down a side street, easily jumping over a fence that backed up to an alley. They ducked under a clothesline in someone's backyard and emerged out onto another main street.

Faith looked around for a minute, then nodded.

"Okay, we can slow down. I think we lost him."

"And I still have my cone with some actual ice cream on it."

"Thought for sure you were gonna lose it when we hopped the fence."

Buffy smiled:

"Years of experience out on patrol."

"Yeah 'cause nothin' says slaying like hangin' onto your ice cream cone."

"You'd better watch your tone or I won't let you have the bite I was about to offer you."

"Really? I get a bite?"

"It's seems only right since you didn't get a lot of your own before."

Buffy stopped walking and held out her surprisingly intact, although melting cone. Faith hesitated at first, giving the ice cream a tiny lick.

"Faith, take some. That side's mostly untouched if you're worried about…"

She took an enormous bite, devouring almost all of the remaining chocolate as well as crunching into the cone.

"Faith!"

She tried to grin, but it was chew or choke, and Faith Lehane was a survivor if nothing else. She was also running as Buffy tried to…get her ice cream back, hit her upside the head, or maybe just grab her and pull her close for a kiss as soon as Faith managed to swallow.

Her lips were delicious: cold with a flavor that tasted just like chocolate covered Faith, and Buffy wanted a double scoop at least. Several people passing in the street yelled out to them and when Buffy ended the kiss, she was smiling.

"Pig."

"You said take some, B. Just tryin' to make ya happy."

"You're so considerate. Thanks."

"My pleasure. Least we got some attention out of it."

Buffy picked up the discarded cone from the grass and tossed it into the trash can next to the sidewalk.

"I'm thirsty."

"There's a joint right over there. Let's go get a drink, then we can get to work."

It was dark inside, and the ceiling fans felt like heaven. They each ordered water, confident that their Slayer constitution could handle it, and Buffy also got a lemonade while Faith chose a Coke. The waiter wasn’t friendly, but he was efficient, and they had their drinks in less than a minute.

"This town looks pretty, I wish we could look around."

"Yeah, but not exactly like we're here to see the sights, B."

"I know. It's definitely not one of our job perks, is it?"

"No, and don't start up about how you didn't get to see the freakin' Eiffel tower."

"Well, I didn't! And you’d think you'd be more upset, it's not like you saw it either."

"Seen pictures, so no big."

"It's a total 'big', Faith! I…"

Faith held up her hand, cutting Buffy off before she could get going.

"I know, I know, ain't the same as seein' it for yourself. Look, if this goes our way today, we can take care of the sitch and just sit back and enjoy the rest of the cruise."

"That would be so great, but you know it never works that way."

Faith finished her water and moved on to her soda.

"Yeah, not too likely, is it?"

"Nope. Oh well, at least I'm not suffering alone."

Faith laughed:

"Misery loves company, B."

"I know mine does, F."

They sat quietly, sipping their drinks and watching the bar fill up. When it began getting crowded, they paid their bill and headed out into the bright sunlight.

"So, I vote for hittin' your girlfriend's room first."

"I agree, and stop calling her that."

"Hey, you're the one who got all turned on."

"I was not 'turned on'."

"Right, B. You're like a nun or somethin'."

Buffy ignored her as they approached the ship holding hands. There was no line to re-board, everyone was out and enjoying all the delights that Puerto Vallarta had to offer on such a beautiful day. The employee sitting on a stool on the dock looked happy to see them and she stood, excited to have something to do.

"No shopping, ladies?"

Faith flashed a smile:

"Not yet. We got a little hot…if you know what I mean."

The woman gave Faith a knowing smile and a wink:

"Yes, ma'am. Best to lie down in your cabin until the feeling passes. It happens a lot on honeymoons."

"Just what we figured, Donna."

Donna wanded them, then handed back their ship ID cards.

"Welcome aboard again, ladies. Have a good afternoon."

They headed straight to the Verandah Deck: Cabin 5190. The usually bustling ship was relatively deserted with a few employees scattered here and there. Buffy knocked twice and when no one answered, she pulled out what looked like a credit card from her pocket. She inserted it into the key card slot and crouched down.

"Hurry up."

"It goes as fast as it goes, Faith. Shhh…"

Faith kept looking both ways down the narrow, empty corridor.

"Well make it go faster, somebody's gonna come."

"Shhh…I can't hear the code."

"Just bust in."

"Faith, be quiet and let me do this right!"

Buffy removed the card, re-inserted it, and waited for the sequence to start over again. It did and it was easy to hear in the silence of the…

"B, let's just bust the door handle and go in."

The telltale beeping finished right after she did.

"Faith!"

"What?"

"What do you mean 'what'? I can't hear the code with you talking!"

"So how's it work?"

Buffy glanced up at her as she got ready to start over...again.

"Did you ever think of listening when Willow was explaining it?"

"No. It was boring and you had it covered."

"Exactly, so shut up and let me do it."

"Fine, 'scuse me for livin'."

Buffy saw the pout and sighed.

"You put it in the key slot and it figures out the code to open the lock. Then it beeps out the sequence and I punch in the number on the 'credit card' number part."

"Oh, cool."

"Yes. So can I please use it now?"

"Sure, go ahead."

Buffy slid the fancy digital lock pick back into the slot, then crouched down. The code began beeping and…

"Didn't kill ya to explain, did it?"

Buffy stood and twisted the handle, the metal and wood protesting as she broke in.

"What the hell, B? Thought you said…"

"Shut up before I kill you."

She put the card back in her pocket and walked into the room while Faith bent the metal back into place as much as possible, then smashed the splintered wood down flush.

"Probably hold for a few open and closes. Not bad, B."

Buffy stared at her wondering if she could get away with murder. Newlyweds killed their spouses on their honeymoon all the time – there was always a story on "Dateline" about it when they weren't busy catching predators. For all Buffy knew, it was even legal now.

She let out a deep breath and concentrated. No murder allowed. She was a Slayer on a Slayer mission with another Slayer doing Slayer business. She released another deep breath and took charge:

"Okay, remember to look in a careful way. They could just be people, and even if they're the demons, we don't necessarily want them to know that we're onto them yet."

"I want'em to know. Fact I wanna be right on top of Carmen when I explain a coupla things to her."

Buffy laughed:

"Here's hoping you get your chance. You take the furniture, I'll do the drawers and closet."

The room, although nowhere near the size of their Honeymoon suite, had plenty of space in which to hide incriminating evidence. Neither of them knew exactly what it was they were looking for, but they were determined to find it if it was there.

They worked efficiently, like a well-oiled team. Faith tipped over the table and all of the chairs, looking to see if anything was attached underneath. She firmly felt around the chairs, checking for any objects hidden inside. Next she unfolded the couch, examining every square inch of the inside space. Coming up empty, she crawled beneath the pulled out frame and looked around, sticking her arms into the now open base of the sofa, refusing to let even the tiniest spot escape her notice.

Buffy had methodically examined every drawer, pulling each one all the way out before sifting through the items inside. She ran her hands along the dresser and the desk, inside, behind, and underneath in case something was taped into place, but she found nothing. She moved on to the television set and the DVR player, but there was nothing unusual there either. Next she lifted up the mattress and peered under the bed, but all was as it should be.

Faith folded the couch back up, then pulled it out from the wall to see what might be behind it as Buffy scooted past the still out of place chairs and table to get to the hallway. She opened the closet door with anticipation, but found nothing beyond the standard ship wardrobe. There were five suitcases in all, and two felt as if they still had something inside them. She carried them towards the bed until her way was blocked, then tossed them onto the mattress before jumping over the furniture to get back to her original spot.

Faith was on her knees behind the couch as she inspected the wall, but her head peeked up when she heard the bags hit the bed.

"Got somethin', B?"

"Maybe. There's stuff in these cases, probably just clothes though."

"Or maybe a dead body. Looks like somebody patched a hole back here, could be a hiding place. Here's hopin' we both get lucky."

She pulled out her knife and began scraping and digging as Buffy examined the first suitcase. She ran her hand along the smooth, soft, expensive dark leather before unzipping it and being greeted with nothing but neatly folded casual clothes…and not even smart ones at that. They were just t-shirts and shorts, along with a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt.

"Anything?"

"Just clothes, and the case itself is clean."

"Still got a shot over here."

Buffy zipped up the bag and pulled the other one closer. It matched perfectly, part of a set, and Buffy was totally jealous of how beautiful it was. A person could say a lot of things about Carmen and Nancy, but they had excellent taste in luggage and at the moment, that seemed to be what was most important...until the contents of the second case were revealed.

The evidence was pretty incriminating, as far as incriminating evidence went, and Buffy knew that Faith was going to be over the moon with what she had just found. She began taking items out and placing them on the bedspread.

"Faith…"

"Hang on one sec…"

There were two pairs of handcuffs, two different kinds of gags, some blindfolds, and what looked to be at least four or five different kinds of whips. There was also a collar, obviously for tagging the kidnapped victim, as well as a bizarre leather outfit that made no sense at all until Buffy realized they must dress the woman up before presenting her to the buyer. Although why they'd risk doing that on the ship made very little sense to her.

"Faith…"

She didn't answer, but Buffy heard her swearing softly under her breath:

"Don't try chipping, fucker. Just slide off and…Gotcha!"

"Faith…"

"Shit. Nothin' here, B. Guess somebody was gettin' it on wicked hard and banged the edge against the wall. Damn."

She stood up and began pushing the couch back into place.

"Can't believe we struck out. I'd have bet a million bucks we'd…"

"Faith!"

Faith banged the couch hard against the wall as Buffy's raised voice startled her. She felt the corner sink into the soft spot as she turned to look at her.

"What the hell are you screamin' abo…"

Her eyes widened as she took in the sight before her. Buffy was holding a leather outfit with the nipple and crotch areas cut out and there were all kinds of whips, gags, clamps, paddles, and restraints spread out on the bed next to her.

The look on Buffy's face made Faith's mouth go dry, even though she wasn't into that kind of thing….at all…never…God…damn.

Buffy's eyes were the Slayer's eyes – scary, unyielding, and promising pain to anyone she got her hands on. When she picked up a whip and a set of cuffs, then turned back to look at Faith, Faith felt dizzy and wondered why the room was suddenly twenty degrees hotter than it had been just a second ago.

"I'd say we found our demons."

Faith tried to speak, she knew her mouth was open so that meant she was halfway there, but she was uncertain how to get her tongue to form any words besides: "Yes, Mistress".

"They've got everything here they need to kidnap and restrain somebody, as well as keep them in line."

"…B…Put it back."

"Why? They can't see the bed when they come in, so we'll just sit right here, then use their own stuff on them. Problem solved."

"Yeah, they'd love that."

"I can't figure out what they do with some of this stuff. Like…what the heck is this thing?"

"B..."

Buffy was holding the item in question upside down and staring at it intently.

"It's weird how it's so smooth and tapered at the end. I don't think it's a weapon, it doesn't seem to do anything, plus it's only like three inches long. I don't have any clue…"

"Just put it back and let's get out of here."

"What's the matter with you? Just a minute ago you were all 'Gung-Ho Girl', now…"

Faith was doing her best to stay composed.

"Buffy, listen to me…We need to put this stuff back where you found it and motor."

"Why? I want to know what they do with all of this and then I'm going to…"

"You're holdin' onto a butt plug, okay?"

"A butt…What?!"

Buffy threw it down hard enough that it bounced off the bed and landed on the floor in the sitting area. With the most horrified look Faith had ever seen on anyone's face, she zoomed off into the bathroom.

Faith heard the water turn on in the sink and she quickly repacked everything into the open suitcase. She got all of the furniture back where it belonged, then returned the luggage to the closet. By the time she made it into the bathroom, Buffy was already in the middle of her ten thousandth vigorous hand washing, the steam rising around her as she scrubbed like only a Slayer could.

"Oh my God…Oh my God. I use these hands, Faith! Almost every day to do all kinds of things! See if there's another bottle of soap somewhere!"

"B, calm down."

"'Calm down'? 'Calm down'? Are you insane?! I just had somebody's butthole in my hands!"

"It's not that bad. I put everything away, and it's either new or they use condoms."

"And you know this how exactly? No, don't say it! Oh God, how long do you think it would take me to grow all new hand skin?"

"Mind if I squeeze in?"

Faith edged her slightly to the side and squirted some soap into own her hands. She tried to look as nonchalant as she could, doing her best to settle Buffy down. She smiled all serene and relaxed and…

"OW!!! Jesus fucking Christ!"

The water was so hot, Faith was certain she'd just burned herself beyond repair.

"B, this is way too fucking hot!"

"Says you! I need industrial heat. I'm hoping to have my hands dry cleaned later…Hey!"

Faith adjusted the temperature to merely "hot".

"Blistering your hands up isn't gonna help. I know it's gross, but trust me: you're okay. Honest."

Buffy looked suspicious, but after one more thorough washing she pulled back and looked for something to dry her hands with. She settled on her pants as the safest possible surface, and Faith followed suit.

"Faith!"

"Just trying to lighten things up, B."

"Can we please just go?"

"Yeah, I'm ready."

A quick look around the room to make sure everything was just as they'd found it, and then they were out in the hallway. They closed the door gingerly, but it shut smoothly and the lock held.

"Oughta make it a few more times, then they'll think it's just some fluke deal when it busts."

Buffy nodded, but never said a word all the way back to their room. They did their now familiar routine, and the instant they knew they were clear, Buffy announced she was going to take a shower.

"I know it's ridiculous, but…"

"I get it. Why don't ya take a bath instead? That way you can soak and relax. I'll order us some lunch and we can just chill for a bit."

"Really? You don't mind?"

"No, 'sides I'm starving. You go wash away the Carmen cooties, I'll get us some chow."

Buffy smiled:

"Thanks, Faith."

"Sure."

Buffy walked into the bathroom, tossing off her clothes as she went. She closed the door behind her, turned on the water and removed her underwear while she waited for it to heat up. Once it was just right, she flipped the switch that closed the drain, added some bubble bath and stood there until the tub was almost half full. She stepped up and then slid into the welcoming water.

She sunk down into the relaxing heat, the faint scent of lavender drifting all around her. She leaned her head back and let her hands sink under the blessedly clean water. She shuddered, then decided to pretend it had merely been the usual demon blood and guts. She'd had that on her hands a million times before and lived to tell the tale. This was just like all of those times…only way, way worse.

She looked at the face in the wall that was spitting out water into the tub and wondered who thought that would be a relaxing thing. The contorted face of a man or maybe a Greek god, that appeared to be vomiting all over someone's naked body was not soothing, not in the slightest. Plus, it was hitting her right there with enough force to be noticeable, but not really hard enough to do anything but put the thought into her head. Maybe that was the point though.

After all, she was sitting in a heart shaped tub big enough for two in the brand new Honeymoon Suite. She was supposed to be thinking about sex every minute anyway, which considering that she was a non-slaying Slayer who'd seen no action of any kind in days and wasn't likely to see any in the immediate future either…

It was time to sing and take her mind off of things better left unthought about.

"I got chills, they're multiplyin'…And I'm looosin' control…"

"We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful Wizard of Oz…because because because because becauuussse…Because of the wonderful things she does…"

"…"

"If I were a rich man…La, la, la…something something something…Whatever."

She was fresh out of distracting sex tunes…show tunes to sing, and it wasn't helping anyway.

She let the water fill pretty high, then tried to turn it off by using her foot. The knobs were on the outside of the tub, nice when you were in the tub, awkward when you were in the tub and didn't want to move. She couldn't exactly squirm all around, the water was too high for that, so she resigned herself to the fact that she was going to have to move and….

"Knock, knock. Can I come in, B?"

Buffy ran her hands over her body like she was smoothing down her clothes, which looked ridiculous because she was covered in thick, frothy bubbles.

"Sure."

Faith was carrying two glasses, a plate full of fruit, cheese, and crackers, and a bottle of white wine tucked under her arm.

"Food might take awhile, so I thought ya might like a drink and a snack."

"That sounds wonderful."

Faith sat the plate down by the sink, then put the glasses and bottle on the ledge next to Buffy. She turned off the water, grinning at the face in the wall.

"Sorry, pal."

She poured two glasses and handed one to Buffy, then grabbed the plate and settled down on the large step. She sat at a bit of an angle and it looked awkward and uncomfortable to Buffy, but Faith didn't seem to mind at all. She looked perfectly at home, just like she always did no matter where she was.

Any place they'd ever been on assignment, Faith had physically adapted without delay. She'd slept soundly chained on a cement floor as well as lost in the woods with nothing but the cold, wet ground beneath her. She'd even managed to sleep for most of a brutal, three hour, bone jarring, teeth rattling ride in the back of a potato truck.

Buffy had felt every one of those Idaho beauties attacking her for three long hours, and less than a third of the way into it, she'd become firmly convinced that they were really demon potatoes intent on bagging themselves a Slayer or two. When they'd finally managed to sneak out, Buffy had been one big bruise, but Faith hadn't shown even the slightest bit of discomfort.

"Always did like spuds. Guess it's mutual."

The girl adapted to her surroundings like nobody's business, but sometimes Buffy couldn't help but worry.

"Maybe you should put a towel behind your back."

"Nah, I'm fine."

She took a sip of her drink:

"Pretty good. Not usually much for wine, but this is alright."

Buffy had a taste, then took another.

"I love wine and this is perfect."

Faith held out the plate:

"Brought forks and I can feed ya the crackers if ya want."

"That's sweet of you, Faith, but I decided to get over it. Just another day at the office."

"Smart move, Slayer."

"Although you might still have to feed me the crackers unless you feel like eating soap."

Faith nodded and picked up a slice of apple.

"So I used that weird little room to make this."

"The butler's pantry?"

"Yeah. Had dishes and the fridge was pretty stocked with the basics. Knives were dull though."

Which probably explained why it looked like Faith had slayed some papaya, but Buffy didn't say a word as she speared a large slice and took a bite.

"Mmmm…it's delicious. Try some."

"I don't know, B. The seeds freaked me right the fuck out."

"I promise you'll love it."

Faith raised her eyebrow, obviously not too sure.

"Yeah?"

"Slayer's honor, F."

"…Okay."

She was going to take a piece off of the plate, but Buffy was already leaning up and offering her a taste from her fork. Faith scooted forward to meet her and took a bite.

She didn't expect to like it, but to her surprise it was actually good.

"So?"

"I like it, B. Kinda like a peach mixed with a melon."

Buffy finished the piece she had with delight.

"Mmmm…Mom used to buy them all the time. She'd carve them out and fill them with ice cream or we'd just have them for breakfast. They're unbelievably good if you sprinkle on some lemon or lime juice."

"Yeah? Guess I'll try that sometime."

"The Hawaiian ones are sweeter, but I like these Mexican ones too."

"Your mom, you miss her a lot, B?"

Buffy speared a grape and a chunk of cheese.

"Every day. I just wish she could see that Dawnie and I are okay, that we made it."

"Doubt she'd figure otherwise, as strong as you are. 'Sides, who says she can't see you?"

"It'd be nice if that were true."

"You tell me, you're the one who went to Heaven."

"I don't remember seeing anyone, but I did feel like everybody was okay."

"Then there's your answer, 'cept I bet your mom pitched a bitch 'til she got herself a good look. She knows, B, and she's wicked proud of you."

Buffy felt her eyes tear up and she covered by finishing off her wine. She stretched out her arm and shook her empty glass.

Faith laughed:

"Whoa, easy, wild woman. You're hittin' the grape juice pretty hard here."

"Just fill'er up!"

"Better be careful shoutin' that out on this boat. Might get a big surprise."

"I'll just explain to them that I've had a rough day and I'm drunk."

"Yeah, like that's not the sitch for ninety-nine percent of the sex that happens in the world."

Faith filled both of their glasses.

"I'll take my chances, F."

"Wow, never knew all it took was some wine and papaya to rev your motor."

"Well, I keep my secrets pretty close to my chest."

"Think one of'em's lookin' to break loose on ya."

Buffy blushed and instantly slid down a few inches. Faith's dimples looked like deep grooves, she was smiling so big.

"Just kidding. Your secrets are safe, all covered up."

"You're the meanest wife on this whole ship."

"Aww…thanks, B."

They ate and drank in a comfortable silence for awhile until Buffy got back to business.

"So, what do we think?"

"They're probably just two freaks lookin' for new playmates."

"Which would explain so many things."

"Yeah, like why no demon tingles."

"And also why Nancy didn't care that Carmen was all over me."

Faith gestured with the bottle and topped off her own when Buffy shook her head.

"It's how they recruit. Carmen sluts all over somebody, then they go all pleasure and pain."

"Do you think that really works? I mean, how many people are into that kind of thing?"

"More than ya think, but they don't always gotta take it to the limit to get off. They just size'em up and go as kinky as they can get away with."

"Great, so they're majorly icky to go along with the big time annoying. And I can't believe how nosy they are."

"Yeah well, they thought we were hot and had to figure out if we'd go for it. Probably curious if you'd maybe go solo too."

Buffy popped a cube of cheese into her mouth, then scooped up a cracker with her fork:

"Another huge reason to dislike them. Here we are on our honeymoon and they're trying to sleep with one or both of us."

"Not my favorite people either, that's for sure. Damn, was really looking forward to cuttin' off Carmen's head."

"And what I'd like to know is how they're not embarrassed to travel through security with that stuff."

"Doubt much embarrasses them, not if they're so ballsy on the approach."

"Wait a second, Faith…how do we know they're not still involved? Their bondage love fits in perfectly with the sex slave thing. Maybe they are working for the demons."

"Could be, I suppose. Maybe we oughta have a little talk with'em."

"Absolutely. Let's apply some pressure and see what happens."

Faith stuffed a cracker and some cheese into her mouth, then swallowed it down with her last sip of wine. She stood and began picking up the dishes.

"Still a piece of papaya left in the mix, B."

She lowered the plate and Buffy snagged it. She started to take a bite but stopped, offering it to Faith first:

"Want a bite?"

"Sure."

Buffy pulled the fork away:

"A 'bite', Faith. No more than half."

"Slayer's honor, B."

Faith bent down and took only her share, and that was when two interesting things happened.

The first was that some papaya juice dribbled leisurely down her chin and Buffy's thumb traced it every inch of the way. The second was that Buffy's half of the fruit broke free from her fork and plopped loudly into the water -- somewhere in the region of her biggest secret.

Two sets of eyes darted to the entry point and then back to look at each other. With just a glimpse of the familiar gleam, Buffy knew she was in trouble.

"Don't you dare."

"But B, I'm just cleanin' up."

"Faith Lehane, I will toss you overboard right through that wall."

Faith put the plate and forks down by the sink, then one by one she deliberately placed the glasses on the far ledge with the faucets.

"I'm not kidding, I will kill you."

"Well, always free to stand up and leave if ya wanna."

It wasn't funny, not at all, but Buffy couldn't help laughing. It was like someone was threatening to tickle her, and just the anticipation of it was making her laugh and squirm. Faith's unhurried pace was masterfully dragging out the tension, and Buffy began giggling even though she was absolutely serious about murdering her.

"Faith, you are just seconds away from meeting a shark up close and personal."

"That what ya call it? Woulda figured you for somethin' a little cuter like: 'My Little Pony' or maybe even 'Little B'."

The tip of her tongue poked out slightly, trapped between her teeth as her eyebrows wiggled and her dimples went out of control. Her eyes never left Buffy's as she pretended to roll up her non-existent sleeves.

"Now just hold still, not gonna hurt a bit."

"Oh, it's going to hurt plenty if you so much as put one finger into this water."

Faith slowly and pointedly dipped her finger just under the surface.

"Callin' your bluff, B."

Buffy wasn't exactly sure when or how it happened, not precisely anyway, but suddenly what had been just a joke no longer seemed funny to either of them. The room had come alive and sparks were burning back and forth between them as they froze where they were.

Once again she could see the change come over Faith's beautiful, expressive face, could see the fire flaring up in the rich brown eyes, and Buffy felt something stirring in herself, something wild and exciting. She licked her lips, and the desire to learn if papaya and wine tasted better on Faith than chocolate ice cream did was all that was on her mind. She leaned forward and at first Faith didn't move, but after a beat she was bending over to meet Buffy halfway.

The loud tapping on the door made them both jump. Faith straightened up and knocked the half full bottle of wine to the floor.

"Shit!"

She grabbed it before it could spill, then turned back to see Buffy reaching for the glasses.

"Here."

She handed them to Faith as the knock sounded again.

"Hang on a minute! Uh…see ya out at the table, yeah?"

"I'll be there."

"Okay…Keep your fucking pants on! I said I'm com…Christ."

Faith shut the bathroom door behind her, then Buffy heard the bedroom door close as well. She blew out a long, deep breath, then reached into the water and lifted out the sexiest piece of papaya ever made.

She stood up and hit the switch to drain the tub as she stepped out. She made the shot into the trashcan, the papaya getting nothing but net, and noticed that the plate was still right where Faith had left it. She made a mental note to make sure to take it out with her after she was done showering.

Buffy turned on the water in the separate stall and it heated up in just seconds. She rinsed clean first before she washed her hair, humming and singing as she went along. Satisfied that she was clean and sudsless, she turned off the water and reached for a towel as she walked to the sink. She continued singing as she combed through her hair:

"Oh yes indeeeed…The hills are alive…"

She looked at herself in the mirror:

"Can't say we're not full of surprises."

With a smile she headed into the bedroom to get dressed, the plate totally forgotten.

Chapter Six

Buffy couldn't stop tapping on the table. She was sitting in a salmon colored chair in the Atrium across from the Front Office, watching while Faith charmed the woman behind the counter. The woman, who had seemed nothing but straight every time they'd interacted with her over the last four days, was now blushing and giggling and looking totally smitten. Faith was oozing sex appeal and charisma all over her and she didn't stand a chance.

Five minutes later, Faith walked over to Buffy and plopped down in the chair next to her.

"Okay, so they're still onboard. They checked back in 'bout an hour before we left Puerto Vallarta."

"So where are they then?"

"Susan says they were one of the first people off when we docked this morning. They said they couldn't wait to check out the beaches and they gave her their room key."

"And she remembers them because…"

"Because Nancy kept calling it 'The Pearl of the Pacific', which was just as fucking stupid as it sounds."

Buffy slammed her hand down on the table:

"Damn it! We should have gotten up sooner."

"We coulda if you hadn't kept us up all night."

"Excuse me, you did more than your share of tossing and turning."

"Because you couldn't settle the fuck down."

"That's so not the point, Faith."

Faith rolled her eyes as she stretched out her legs.

"Yeah, well not much we can do until they get back. Too much beach and city out there."

"And the ever so helpful Susan didn't find out which beach they were going to?"

"No, she didn't and why the fuck would she?"

"It is an information desk, isn't it?"

"For the ship, B. She doesn't…"

Buffy gave a dismissive wave of her hand:

"Whatever. I just don't get why they weren't in their room last night."

"Probably were, but were just all tied up."

"Oh, brother."

"What? That was fuckin' funny and you know it."

"For you, maybe."

"For anybody. And you already admitted I can bring the comedy gold at will."

"Yeah, you're really something."

Faith shook her head and practically sneered at Buffy:

"Jesus, gonna get your balls in such an uproar, why didn't you slap a tracer on Carmen's big ass when ya had the chance?"

"Don't start with that again…sweetie."

"What the fuck are you…"

A group of four women joined them in the sitting area. They were all wearing flip-flops, tropical print shirts, and shorts. They each had oversized hats and were carrying towels and other beach paraphernalia.

"So how long, Carol?"

"They said they'd meet us here in ten or fifteen."

"Well, I hope they hurry. The beaches here are supposed to be to die for."

Two of the women sat down on the couch against the wall, but the other two remained standing next to Buffy and Faith's table looking hopefully towards the entrance. Carol glanced at them and a look of recognition crossed her face. She smiled and Buffy smiled back as she reached for Faith's hand across the table.

Even though they were irritated with each other, their hands fit perfectly. Faith's thumb instantly began rubbing the back of Buffy's hand and Buffy felt herself relaxing as she fell into character.

"Hi. You're the couple in the Honeymoon suite, right?"

Buffy's smile widened:

"That's us."

Carol was clearly excited.

"So what's it like? Is it beautiful? Romantic? Cheesy?"

"Yes."

Everyone laughed at Buffy's answer.

"So what makes it different from the regular Penthouse suite?"

"I'm guessing it's the heart-shaped bed and bathtub…and my wife, of course."

Buffy felt Faith's hand tighten slightly, but when she looked at her she seemed just like she always did.

Carol smiled as she stared back and forth between them:

"You two have made quite the impression around here. Everybody's talking about how hot…in love you guys are."

Faith clearly wasn't in a talking mood, so Buffy kept going.

"Well, just look at her. Who wouldn't love her?"

"Check a mirror."

Muttered softly by one of the other women, but both Slayers heard her. Buffy preened visibly, and Faith smiled slightly at her reaction.

"And what's on the inside is even better. I'm the luckiest woman in the world."

"That's so sweet."

Faith hand tightened again, but this time she was standing and pulling Buffy to her feet.

"Sorry, girls, we gotta motor. Have a good time at the beach."

And with that she left, dragging a confused, but still smiling Buffy behind her. Faith didn't stop moving until they made it to the elevators and the instant they were alone, Buffy turned to her:

"What was that all about?"

"We're supposed to be making a plan, not shootin' the shit with Carol."

They rode the elevator up to their deck in silence and went into their room. Only one person had been inside and since it was once again spotless, they knew who it was. Still they checked and when they were sure, Faith sat down at the dining room table.

"So let's get this going."

"Okay, but what's with the mood?"

"I don't have one, just wanna do my job, alright?"

Buffy stood looking down at her with her arms folded across her chest:

"You're really going to deny you're in a bad mood?"

"Yeah, I really am, but you wanna talk about bad moods, why don't you go check in a mirror?"

"Oh my God, that bothered you?"

"No, I'm used to everybody drooling all over you by now."

"Everybody? That's two people and one was an S&M weirdo!"

Faith stood up:

"Oh please, Buffy. There's not a woman on this boat…"

"Tell me you're kidding! Every time we go to the pool, every woman there is imagining you naked, which isn't all that hard to do since your suit's practically non-existent."

"Well I'm not the one smiling all 'Buffy' at every fucking person I see."

"And I'm not the one trying to have sex with Susan right on the Front Desk counter."

Faith's eyes narrowed:

"I was doin' my fucking job."

"Yeah, emphasis on the 'fucking'!"

"Least I don't throw food in the tub with me and…"

"I knew it! We should have talked about that yesterday, but no, you had to act like nothing happened."

"Nothing did happen, so stop making a big deal outta…"

Buffy snorted in disbelief:

"Me? Talk about needing to look in a mirror! I'm playing my part, Faith, trying to stop women from being sold into bondage."

"Yeah? Well I'm right here too, doin' the same fucking thing. So don't try to go all high and mighty on me."

"I'm simply trying to point out that we have a job to…"

"Look, just three more days and this fucked up cruise is over. Then we can go right back to how we used to be!"

Buffy stood looking at her for a moment, then walked over to the glass door and stared out at the dock and the other ships. She could feel the tears building and she didn't exactly know why. It wasn't like she wasn't used to fighting with Faith, they fought all the time and this wasn't even half as angry as they usually got…but that last comment had hurt her feelings and as hard as she tried, she couldn't help it.

"B…"

She heard Faith right behind her and she willed herself not to let the tears spill down her cheeks.

"I don't wanna fight with you."

She said it low and intimate, and right next to Buffy's ear.

"B?"

And then Faith's lips gently brushed her bare shoulder.

"I'm sorry, alright? I guess I am bein' grouchy. Yesterday kinda shook me up and I been feelin'…"

Buffy turned slowly to face her.

"Unsure, confused, scared…"

"Yeah."

"…and like somehow it just feels so right."

"…Yeah."

"Me too."

"So what's it mean?"

Buffy slipped her arms around Faith's waist:

"I'd say it means I'm falling for you, but it feels different than that…like I already fell for you a long time ago and I'm just now realizing it because it just happened…which makes the kind of sense that doesn't because we've known each other for…"

"B?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Shut up."

And Faith kissed her.

It was different than all of the other times – gentle, almost delicate, but with the promise of something else behind it. It was just their lips that met, their tongues deciding to stay home and bide their time. Faith pulled back first, her eyes intense and searching, and Buffy's hand came up to smooth along her cheek.

Faith's eyes closed as she leaned into the caress, a tiny sigh of pleasure that sounded so loud to Buffy. She moved closer as her lips found Faith's, the sigh happening again, only this time it was a moan and it was also Buffy's breaking point.

Her grip became like iron as she pulled Faith's body to her own as tightly as she could, the hand on Faith's cheek sliding around to the back of her neck and tilting her head to the most accessible angle. Her lips were hard, demanding, and her tongue slid into Faith's mouth, all possessive insistence.

Faith was not a woman who ever allowed herself to be possessed or controlled or handled, yet she felt herself going right with Buffy, step for step, following wherever she led. Buffy's hot and insistent hands were touching wherever they could as her mouth kept up the heavenly pressure, her tongue exploring everywhere it could reach. She began walking Faith backwards toward the bedroom, not stopping until the back of Faith's legs hit the point of the heart shaped bed and she sat down.

The contact was broken, but Buffy's eyes had latched onto Faith's, holding onto her just as tightly.

"Faith…God, I want you so much."

The familiar grin was mixed with an unusual shyness, and the sight of it ratcheted up Buffy's desire to a red-hot intensity.

"I'm right here, B."

Buffy stripped, becoming bolder as Faith's gaze became more lust filled with each piece of clothing that disappeared.

"Jesus, Buffy…You are so beautiful."

She said nothing as she approached, then straddled Faith. She kissed her, putting her hands on Faith's chest as she slowly pushed her down flat on the bed.

"I want you."

And then Buffy took her. Her hands slid under clothes, touching with what seemed like blazing fire to Faith. Her fingers pinched and stroked, her nails grazing seductively in all of the right places, and just when Faith thought she was going to go crazy with desire, she heard her clothes tearing – Buffy was all done waiting.

The feel of skin on skin caused both girls to pause, convinced that nothing had ever felt so good, but knowing that assertion was about to change in seconds. Buffy's hands slid up Faith's waist, gliding smoothly until each contained a breast. She moaned like the pleasure was all hers, and then her thumbs stroked across both nipples in time.

Faith jumped, her eyes closing with pleasure as she struggled not to lose total control of herself. Buffy kept going, fascinated by how hard Faith had become. She wasn't aware of it, but she was also moving, sliding back and forth against the muscles of Faith's stomach, lost in the sensation and the view before her.

"B…"

Buffy smiled at the desperate sound and lowered her mouth to taste one of the rock hard nipples. Faith jolted, and to her embarrassment she lost her battle with staying cool. Her hands went to Buffy's hips, moving her as she lifted up to give Buffy something to rub against, but Buffy wasn't interested. Her mouth switched breasts and her hands pulled Faith's away from her.

"B…"

Buffy entwined their fingers and Faith finally understood why holding hands with her had always been so sexy. She pulled back from Faith's nipple, her teeth catching it at the tip as her tongue swirled around, and Faith's grip tightened. She would have broken anyone else's fingers, but then her reaction would have never been so out of control with anyone else.

She could feel Buffy smile around her, then she felt and heard the low knowing laugh as her teeth finally let go and she began kissing every square inch of skin she could. She continued leisurely until she was stretched out fully on top of Faith, her face buried in her neck, their hands still entwined. She kissed her way slowly up to Faith's ear, so slowly that Faith felt like she was going insane, and whispered:

"I want you."

Faith tugged her hands free and wrapped her arms around Buffy, pulling her close and letting her legs part so that Buffy's center rested directly against hers. She began moving slowly, and Buffy responded by kissing her neck again, softly at first and then with a force that made Faith cry out with the feeling of it. It made her jerk upwards and pushed them together everywhere.

"Faith…"

Faith's legs wrapped around Buffy, refusing to let her escape, not that Buffy was trying to. They began moving together, Buffy thrusting against her and Faith rising to meet her. They set a regular pace that sped up quickly until they were moving as one – each tense, sweating, murmuring words of passion, sounds of love, and they came as one in an explosion of ecstasy…and they kept right on going.

Buffy moved away despite Faith protests and began kissing her way down the most beautiful body she'd ever seen. There was a slight sheen of sweat, and without thought, Buffy's tongue dragged through it, savoring the salty taste as she made her way to her destination. Goose bumps preceded her, rising as she got closer, and Faith's moans provided the perfect soundtrack for her journey.

She stopped at Faith's navel, fascinated by the up close view. She kissed it, traced it with her tongue, her lips making love to it in a way that should have been ridiculous, but instead was the sexiest thing Faith had ever seen or felt. She saw Buffy's teeth flash right before she bit the skin below it, and the pain provided so much pleasure, she nearly came again.

"Shhh, baby."

Faith watched as Buffy slid all the way down, her face poised right there…but then she was going down further and taking Faith right with her. In just moments Buffy was kneeling on the floor, her strong and sure hands lifting Faith's legs to drape over her shoulders.

"I wanna do this right, F."

And then right and wrong no longer had any meaning for Faith as she felt Buffy's tongue. She came at the first touch, but it didn't seem to matter to Buffy, she wasn't nearly done. She was consumed by her desire to taste and touch, to make Faith hers, and she could hear the cries of pleasure through the roaring in her ears, could feel the tension building again in Faith…and then again and again. It was wild, it was intense, and it was theirs, and Buffy couldn't stop, not until they were done.

She finally pulled away when Faith went limp, her voice hoarse and unable to do anything except whisper:

"B…"

With a final kiss Buffy stood, lifting Faith into her arms and placing her back on the bed with a pillow beneath her head. She then placed herself back on Faith, her hands still touching and caressing everywhere, her mouth still tasting and kissing and marking and…

"Okay, my turn."

Faith grasped Buffy's hips and pulled her, sliding her along her body and forcing Buffy to sit up on her knees to avoid crashing headfirst into the headboard. As she did, Faith lifted her and without any ceremony or hesitation, she dropped Buffy down onto her waiting mouth.

Buffy's eyes opened wide, then closed as her head flung back when Faith went to work. She gripped tightly to the headboard, doing her best not to break it as Faith's tongue probed and prodded and twirled and drove Buffy right out of her mind. She tried to shift, but Faith kept her right where she was, and it took less than a minute before Buffy was coming.

Her yell was silent, her mouth opening as she sat up straighter, her leg muscles closing around Faith's head. Faith eased off, her mouth placing kisses on the inside of Buffy's thighs, but when she slumped forward, Faith started anew. She slipped her hands around to grasp Buffy's ass and encouraged her to start rocking, to set her own pace. Any embarrassment Buffy might have felt at the situation never even made a dent. Faith was in her and encouraging her to ride – and so Buffy rode.

She rocked back and forth wantonly, her hair falling in front of her as she set herself in motion…back and forth, back and forth while Faith stayed right with her. She began coming, but she didn't stop, riding it out until it became something else. As she came again she lifted herself away, but Faith wasn't accepting that. Her hands pulled Buffy back down and held her there, refusing to let her lessen the intensity, making it hurt in a way that was so great, Buffy felt herself leaving her body.

It didn't scare her, she knew she was in good hands, and she went where every bit of her wanted to go. Bright lights flashed before her eyes, her body went rigid, then limp as she felt herself drifting off on a blissful, Faith-shaped cloud that knew her inside and out. It could give and take with her every step of the way, and without any doubt or hesitation, Buffy let go … trusting Faith with everything.

By the time she'd re-gathered her wits, their positions had changed. She was on the bottom and Faith was next to her, her hand stroking up and down Buffy's body.

"There ya are. I been waiting."

"Waiting?"

Faith kissed her – dark and wild, and with more passion than Buffy had ever felt from anyone. She entered her with two fingers that knew exactly what to do, and she had Buffy moving with her in seconds. Her thrusts were slow and gentle, hard and fast, and everything in between. She drove Buffy on, taking her right to the edge, then pulling her back every time.

Buffy knew Faith was playing with her, controlling her, and it made her smile even though she wanted to smack her.

"Stop it."

"Not gonna, B."

"Such…a…bitch."

Faith kissed her again, her tongue moving in rhythm with her thrusts.

"Ya already knew that."

She sped up and so did Buffy, her hand reaching for Faith to deliver some tit for tat, but Faith's hips kept shifting just out of reach. She laughed at the frustration on Buffy's face, then finally took pity on her. She let her thumb stroke across Buffy…right there…and she kept up the steady rhythm until Buffy blew sky-high.

Faith was kissing her as she came, her yell exhaling into Faith's mouth and making it hard for both of them to breathe. Faith pulled back slightly, then kissed Buffy's cheek. She left her hand right where it was as Buffy's body continued to shake with the occasional shudder. She ran her free hand lightly along Buffy's body, for the most part avoiding the hotspots while she let her wind down.

It took her a long time, but Faith didn't mind. She spent the time just looking, and it was a sight she knew she was never, ever going to forget. Buffy was all messed up – her hair was all over the place and stuck in spots to her flushed pink skin. She had a hickey on her right breast, her mouth was hanging open as she panted for air, and she looked loose and sexy and happy.

She smiled with her eyes still closed and her hand lifted awkwardly to the back of Faith's head to pull her down into range. Buffy kissed her, then groaned as Faith's hand inadvertently moved.

"Sorry. Guess I gotta leave now."

"Not on my account. You're welcome to stay forever."

"Better not give me that opening, B."

"I already did, F."

Faith laughed as she carefully removed her hand.

"Wow. That was…"

"It was fucking off the charts, B."

"We didn't really look, it could have been on them."

"Yeah, Red did have'em all snazzy and shit."

She nuzzled into Buffy's stomach:

"Wanna take a bath together?"

"Do I look like I can even move?"

"Sure, c'mon. You're a Slayer, you got all that extra energy."

Buffy opened one eye:

"Are you serious?"

"Wicked serious."

"Let's take a nap first."

Faith slid up Buffy's body, making her moan a long drawn out moan. She stopped when she was face to face with her one-eyed lover, wearing nothing but a huge smile.

"See? Still got some in ya. C'mon, B."

"Just one hour and…"

"I'll get everything ready, then you can sleep in there."

"Faith…"

But her other eye was open now.

"I'll even hold ya so you don't drown, and I promise to make sure your tits get extra special clean."

Buffy lifted her head slightly and kissed her.

"Okay, let's go."

"Really?"

"Yep."

Faith was up, naked and bouncing, and Buffy was now wide awake.

"You stay put, B. Let me get it ready, then I'll come back and get ya."

She took off all excited and in seconds Buffy heard the water running and Faith whistling happily under her breath. The bed was so cozy and warm and it smelled like Faith…It was a good bed, the best bed ever…It couldn't be more perfect if…

Buffy sensed Faith leaning over her.

"Bathtub or ya just wanna stay put, B?"

"I want to be anywhere you are, F."

Buffy felt her slip under the covers, her arms wrapping around her tight.

"Works for me, baby."

*****

They awoke from their nap, had sex, and then ordered a huge late lunch. Faith wasn't the slightest bit embarrassed that their room had become a den of hot, wild sex, and she'd worn nothing except the ship provided robe to greet the room service employee. Her hair made it look like she'd just rolled out of bed and the two giant hickeys visible on her neck confirmed it. She made a risqué joke about how she loved to eat in bed and then with a twenty dollar tip, she sent the employee back out into the hall.

Buffy stayed in bed, the sheet up to her neck, and Faith laughed when she saw her.

"Already seen the goods, B, from every angle."

"It's not you I was worried about."

"Well, considering the door was mostly shut…Guess she coulda had x-ray vision."

"Exactly. You just can't be too careful."

Faith rolled the cart next to the bed:

"Maybe, but I wanna see'em, so drop it."

Buffy did and Faith bent over to deliver a kiss to each one before she sat down on the edge of the bed. She lifted a silver lid and grabbed a fry:

"Nice and hot. How do they do it, B?"

"It's a modern miracle, Faith."

"Laugh all ya want, but it's fuckin' awesome."

They ate like two Slayers having non-stop sex, and when they were done, they put everything back on the cart and Faith shoved it out into the narrow hallway, just like they weren't supposed to. She was back in bed in what was probably record time and she pulled Buffy to her, wrapping her arms around her as Buffy happily snuggled in.

"Mmmm..."

"Gotta agree with ya."

"I'm so happy right now, I think it might be illegal."

"Yeah, B?"

"Yeah, F. Who knew?"

"Think maybe we did."

"I think maybe you're right."

They said nothing for a long time, content to cuddle in bed until Buffy lifted her head to look at the bedside clock.

"We have four and a half hours before we have to go have dinner with the Captain."

"I don't wanna go. I just wanna stay here."

Buffy smiled and kissed her:

"I know, me too."

"So, let's do it."

"Faith, we are working and time's getting short. We need to get a tour from the Captain so we can see the places we…"

"I don't fucking care. I just wanna stay here with you."

"I know, but just think: we'll go eat, see what we need to see, scare Carmen and Nancy, stop the demons, and then make love the whole rest of the night."

Faith pulled Buffy all the way over on top of her:

"And how many hours is tonight gonna run for?"

"Hmm…probably a hundred."

"Gonna have to with a packed schedule like that."

Buffy kissed the side of her neck, swirling her tongue around on the sensitive spot she'd found earlier.

"But here's the thing, F – no matter what else we have to do?"

"Uh-huh?"

"I'm always going to make time for this."

Faith's smile seemed to light up the entire suite.

"That a promise, B?"

"Slayer promise. Just a few hours with you and I'm totally addicted."

"I can get behind that."

"Which you already did very well."

Faith laughed and rolled them over so that she was on top.

"But there's plenty of other things we need to try."

"Really?"

"Trust me, we barely scratched the surface."

"Ooh, you sound all sexy when you know what you're talking about."

Faith's hand began circling lower and lower:

"Think I sound sexy all the time."

"True…and now you…feel sexy too."

"I can do it all, B."

Buffy dramatically threw her arms out to her sides:

"Teach me what I don't know."

"Gonna teach ya what ya know too."

"Wow, a little full of yourself, aren't you?"

"I got the skills and can back it up, baby."

"Again with the 'taking me from behind' thing. I think you might be obsessed."

"Ya think?"

Buffy had just a split second warning before Faith flipped her over onto her stomach.

"Whatcha gonna do about it?"

"Not a thing, F, except lay here and enjoy it."

And she had, they both had.

An hour passed before they were satisfied and settled down, and they decided it was time to call home and see if there was any new information they could use.

"Maybe they've got something by now."

"Maybe. Gimme the phone, B."

"Why?"

"Because if you talk to Willow, you won't be able to keep it in and you'll be blabbin' all over the place."

"I will not! And what exactly does that mean?"

"What?"

Buffy sat up, her expression on its way to angry:

"Why can't I tell her? Don't you want anyone to know?"

"Me?"

"Yes, you. Am I having sex with someone else?"

"Not today."

"So what's with the keeping it secret?"

Faith sat up too and Buffy's eyes couldn't help but look at her suddenly uncovered breasts. They were works of art, things of beauty, and she couldn't decide which one was better.

"..which is the only reason, okay?"

"What?"

"What do ya mean 'what'? I can't say it any plainer than that."

"Right, but uh…"

Faith looked at her suspiciously:

"Were you even payin' attention?"

"No, but that's not my fault. You whipped your boobs out right in the middle of things and I lost my focus for a second."

"I didn't 'whip'em out', they're just here."

"Well whatever, I was distracted, so repeat your reason."

"I said that I just figured you'd wanna tell Red face to face, is all. If it was up to me, I'd be braggin' to everybody."

"You'd be 'bragging'?"

Faith pulled her closer for a kiss.

"Hell yeah, I would! This is the high point of my life, so yeah, I got no problems tellin' everybody about us every chance I get."

Buffy looked at her and smiled:

"You can say the sweetest things without even trying to."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Here."

She handed Faith her cell phone:

"You're right, you should make the call. It'd be way better if I told Will face to face."

"So I got one right? Damn, this thing have a camera in it?"

Buffy laughed as she smacked her lightly on the shoulder.

"Funny girl. But I'm going to snuggle up with you while you talk."

"If she gets suspicious, I'll tell her I had to sit on ya to get control."

She hit #3 and waited for the phone to finish instant dialing. Willow answered on the second ring:

"Hi, Buff! Still wanna throw Faith overboard?"

"Yeah she tried, but I nailed her ass first."

Buffy muffled her laughter over the double meaning, and Willow tried to cover her embarrassment.

"Oh…uh…Hi, Faith! Did Buffy tell you how overboard she is with happiness that you two are…"

"Save it, Red. I get it. The Princess always has her panties twisted in a bunch about somethin'."

Buffy twisted her nipple for that, hard, and Faith flinched and had to mouth – "Sorry" before she'd stop.

"So how's it going in Mazatlan?"

"Great. Best place I've ever been."

Her hand caressed Buffy's cheek, and Buffy smiled and leaned into her.

"We were wondering if ya had any info for us."

"Yes and no, but how come Buffy's not calling?"

"Uh…'cause she's in the bathroom."

"In the bathroom? Why didn't you wait to call then?"

"We ate Mexican, so it's a crapshoot, ya know?"

"Oh. I hope she's okay."

Buffy's face made it clear she thought Faith was an idiot.

"'Sides, can't I check in without the third degree? I'm part of the team too, ya know."

"Well sure, of course you are…but I just meant why are you using her phone instead of your own?"

"What?"

"Why aren't you calling from your own phone?"

"Uh…I lost it."

Buffy was shaking her head: "No, don't say that!"

"You lost your brand new phone?"

"Yeah, it fell overboard."

"Oh boy, Giles is not going to be happy."

Faith looked at her phone sitting safely on the dresser.

"Can I just get the info and…"

"'Giles is not going to be happy' about what?"

"Oh. Hi, Giles! You're back!"

"As this is my office, yes, I thought I'd stop by."

"Shit."

Buffy mouthed at Faith:

"What?"

"Giles is there."

"Yes, well, all exuberance and hugging aside, Willow, since we last saw one another a scant six minutes ago, I'd like to hear what I will not be happy about."

"Don't fucking tell him!"

"Hello, Faith. I take it you're not aware that you're on speaker phone."

"Willow, fuck!"

Buffy sat up straight: "Oh crap."

"Course I knew, G-Man! How's it hangin'?"

"I'm fine, thank you, but I would like to know what you've done this time."

"Me? Damn, what's with the lack of faith?"

Faith laughed way too loud and way too long at her own joke, and Buffy had to clamp a hand over her mouth to get her to stop.

"Let's see: Willow is beet red and you're attempting to deflect the subject as you always do when you've done something wrong. Would either of you girls care to fill me in?"

Silence met his question and years of experience told him there was no point in waiting.

"Very well then, I'm afraid you leave me no choice. Willow, I must say I'm greatly disappointed in you. I count on your…"

Faith and Willow both spoke at the same time:

"Don't let him get to you, Red!"

"Faith lost her cell phone!"

"Oh for God's sake!"

"Jesus fucking Christ, Willow. Why ya gotta…"

"I'm sorry, but he was looking at me all sad!"

"This is the third bloody phone in less than six months. You assured me this time…"

Buffy gestured at her:

"Disconnect!"

"…and although it was an absurd amount of money for a communication device, I gave in because…"

"I needed it, Giles! You want me walkin' around without 'Angry Birds' and 'Fruit Ninja'?"

"…you promised to hang onto your 'ePhone'."

"It's 'iPhone', Giles."

"Yes, thank you, Willow, for that totally useless vowel correction!"

"Hang up!"

Faith shook her head at Buffy:

"Listen, I'm callin' in for info, so if you guys could try being professional…"

"But Giles, why are you mad at me? Faith's the one…"

"Fuck Willow, want me to get a running start towards the freakin' bus?"

"Faith…"

Buffy's whisper was the only warning she gave before trying to snatch the phone away from her, but Faith wasn't having it. She straight armed Buffy and turned her back to her.

"I stand in absolute awe at the irresponsibility on display, and you may rest assured upon your return we shall…"

"Give me the phone."

Buffy was still trying to grab it in order to perform some kind of damage control, but Faith was resisting, all without really paying attention.

"Wanna talk about irresponsible? What about last month when Buffy rolled up on Xander's tools? Didn't hear ya busting her balls for that!"

"I'm afraid your pay will also have to be docked. It's the only way you'll perhaps even begin to learn...."

His desk phone began ringing and he either didn't hear it or he was ignoring it.

"…to value the property you've been entrusted with."

"Yeah? Well as little as I get paid, I'll still be payin' it off when I'm dead."

Willow picked up the ringing phone:

"Rupert Giles' desk."

"Hi, Will."

"Hi, Buffy. How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling fine."

"That's a relief. Montezuma's Revenge can be really…"

She glanced down at the display:

"Hey wait a second, how can you be calling from Faith's phone?"

"No, I'm bloody well not overreacting. You show not the slightest sign of remorse, nor do you…"

"She never lost it, Will. She got flustered and lied."

"Oh. Why?"

Well, you're not going to believe this, but…we had sex today…a bunch of times."

"You did? With who?"

"With each other, Willow!"

"You and her? Faith and you? The two of you finally? Oh my God!"

"Yeah? Then maybe ya oughta just buy me a coupla tins cans and a piece of string."

"The idea has crossed my mind, but I'm not at all sure you could manage to hang onto even that."

"'Oh my God' good or 'Oh my God' bad?"

"It's all of the good, Buffy. I'm just kinda shocked, you know?"

"Yep, I'm definitely riding the 'Shock Train' right with you, Will. We'll talk about it more when I get home, but the main thing for now is – it's really good. Crazy good."

"Wow, I bet it is! I wish I was there with you…but not 'there' there, especially not when you guys are…Not that it wouldn't be hot…Okay, being quiet, supportive best friend now."

"Thanks, Will."

"Don't you bloody well try to turn this around! Everyone else…"

"Can you get his attention? I'll get hers."

"I'll try, but his glasses are off and he's clucking in between words."

"Well, she's doing her 'furious stomping' thing…but she's without clothes which makes it a lot better than usual."

"That must be quite a sight…Giles is wearing all of his clothes."

Buffy laughed.

"Which is also of the good."

"The goodest of the good."

"Okay, ready?"

"Yep, I can always do a 'Silencing' spell on him if I have to."

"And I absolutely know how to silence Faith now."

Willow laughed:

"Okay, well thanks for calling, Buff."

"It was my pleasure, Will."

****

Faith was sitting at the dining room table, drumming impatiently.

"B, hurry up!"

"I'm coming!"

"Again? Thought I wrung the last one…"

"Shut up."

Buffy emerged from the bedroom, her dress looking like it was made for her.

"Damn, you look beautiful."

"You do too, plus also very smart."

Faith hugged her and kissed her on the chin, a seemingly make-up free spot.

"You don't mind too much, do ya?"

"I don’t mind at all, F."

Faith had volunteered earlier to dress in formal wear and leave her Smart Casual outfit behind if Buffy really wanted her to.

"I know how much you like that shit, B, so if you want, I'll do it."

"God, you are the sweetest woman ever."

"Which means?"

Buffy had joined her on the chair in the sitting area.

"Which means: no, you don't have to because I'll just wear that green and white dress that's in between casual and formal…and it also means that I'm going to have sex with you now for being so thoughtful."

That had thrown them slightly off schedule, but they'd gotten back on track and were now fine if they could just get going.

Buffy caught sight of herself in the mirror above the side table and began fiddling with her hair.

"B, we're gonna be late if we don't leave right now."

"Hmmm?"

"Eight o'clock dinner, Captain's table, showing up late not exactly a way to get on this asshole's favorite side."

She stood and took Buffy firmly by the elbow.

"Move it, Princess."

Buffy left the mirror reluctantly, but she didn't put up a fight as Faith pushed her into the hall, slapped the dime into place, and closed the door.

"Damn, B, gonna have to beat'em off ya with a stick tonight."

Buffy smiled and hooked her arm through Faith's:

"No you're not, but it won't matter anyway. I just want you."

Faith's smile said it all, and she kissed the top of Buffy's head.

"Am I s'posed to get so turned on every time you say anything?"

Buffy laughed and leaned into her, increasing the effect.

"I think so."

"Got no clue how I'm gonna make it through dinner."

"Well, we won't be sitting next to each other, so that should help."

"'Help'? No way, B. We'll be across from each other, so I'm gonna be lookin' at you the whole time."

"So you were paying attention before!"

Buffy had gone over the rules for eating at the Captain's table before they'd started getting ready, and it was obvious that Faith had not the slightest bit of interest.

"Why do we need rules for eating? Here's one: pick up the food and shove it in your mouth."

"Would you please stop? We want to make a good impression, and following protocol will help with that."

"Yeah, fine, but if your card's next to this asshole, he'd better watch his nuts."

Buffy kept reading the printout.

"Okay, so the Captain chose the menu…"

"Terrific, now he's fuckin' with my woman and my food."

"…which they included, and you'll be just fine."

"Right, so Captain Hitler tells us where to sit and what to eat…"

"And he also decided on a casual dress code, so he can't be totally evil, can he?"

Faith's expression looked angry, but her dimples gave her away.

"Even a busted clock's right twice, B."

"Yeah, I paid attention. We do got a job to do."

They were at the elevator and Buffy unhooked her arm to push the "down" button.

"Yes we do, and the faster we get it done…"

Faith jumped slightly as she felt Buffy's hand caressing her ass.

"Any chance you'd consider headin' back to our room, B?"

"I've already considered it at least ten times, but we're on the clock, F."

"Fine, but this better wrap fast."

The dinner was taking place at the Vista Restaurant, and they were escorted to the Captain's table on the first floor without delay. There were already two other guests seated: Randi and Laura, their across the hall neighbors, and Buffy tried her hardest not to think about the last time she'd seen them. At least she was looking at their faces now.

Greetings were exchanged and they took their seats, marveling at the intricate elephant ice sculpture that doubled as the table's centerpiece. Faith was seated next to the Captain, but before Buffy even had time to contemplate all of the ways that could go wrong, she saw her name card was next to Carmen's. Faith instantly bristled and Buffy smiled her most reassuring smile as she sat down.

She thought about switching their cards, but putting Faith next to Carmen was just asking for way more trouble than they could afford, and the Captain probably didn't condone outright murder at the table anyway. If she wanted to switch their seats, she'd have to switch all of the cards around, and that would be incredibly complicated, plus Randi and Laura would undoubtedly have several unanswerable questions as to just what the hell Buffy thought she was doing. There was nothing the Slayers could do except ride it out and hope for the best. Faith was going to have to charm Captain Stahre-Janson and Buffy was going to have to make Carmen sweat in a non-pleasant, non-sexy way.

Faith was still glowering, obviously imagining Carmen's head as the table's new centerpiece, so Buffy smiled her best "Buffy" smile and held up a book of matches:

"Look Faith, the personalized matchbooks."

Faith didn't want to stop doing a slow burn, but she couldn't help it – she loved the idea of her name in gold on a book of matches. In fact, one wasn't enough, she wanted more.

"It's pretty cool, B. Toss me yours."

Buffy did and Faith caught them easily, reading the name and giving Buffy a cocky look:

"'Buffy Lehane'. Looks good, B."

"It feels good too. I love having your last name…and everything else, F."

Faith laughed and slid Buffy's matches into her shirt pocket. She wasn't stupid, she knew that Buffy was trying to calm her down and remind her of their mission, all while making it crystal clear that she was Faith's, and Faith's alone. The tension faded away just like that, and she winked and nodded at Buffy that she was okay and ready.

Everyone else began arriving, and as eight o'clock approached, Carmen and Nancy were still conspicuously absent. Faith was talking to an older woman on her right and she seemed to be in love with Faith.

"It's so lovely to come across a polite young woman, especially such a beautiful one. So many girls your age don't seem to have any respect for the older generation. I was on the front lines, you know, paving the way for you and your wife to have the open, loving relationship you now have."

"Yes ma'am, and I can tell you we truly appreciate the sacrifices you made for us."

She patted Faith's arm:

"There's no need to thank me, dear. It's thanks enough just to know you're aware."

Two men in uniforms approached the table and close behind them came the Captain. Everyone stood respectfully, although Buffy noticed Faith was the last to make it to her feet.

"Thank you, everyone. Please be seated."

The Captain took her seat and Buffy had to use all of her self-control to stop herself from laughing at Faith's expression. Apparently "nut cutting" was no longer an option since it was doubtful that Karin Stahre-Janson possessed any to lose.

The officers who'd accompanied the Captain sat down in the two empty chairs while the Captain explained that due to some last minute emergency, none of them would be having the pleasure of the S&M queens. Faith looked positively giddy and the man who now sat next to Buffy introduced himself as the ship's Chief Engineer.

As the meal began it became apparent that he was a sparkling dinner conversationalist, and his anecdotes were interesting or funny, sometimes both at once. He was incredibly handsome and intelligent, able to converse about a broad range of topics with ease. He was totally fascinating and should have held Buffy riveted. Instead she found she could barely give him even the politest of attention as she watched Faith completely and utterly charm and captivate Captain Karin Stahre-Janson, the only female captain in the entire Holland America Line.

Faith was doing her job and she was doing it great. Her expression was full of interest and admiration, and it seemed that every word out of the Captain's mouth had Faith simply awestruck. The Captain hadn't spoken to the man on the other side of her more than twice, and as the meal went on, there was no one else at the table for her except Faith. Buffy wanted to blow her brains out.

"Why yes, that's right, Faith. The ms Oosterdam is a Vista-class ship. She's 936 feet long, and she holds 1916 passengers as well a crew of 817."

"She's a beauty, for sure. And quite an honor for a woman as young as you to be in charge of her."

"That it is, but when the position became available, I jumped at the chance. I made the case that a ship focused primarily on lesbian cruises needed a woman at her helm."

"Couldn't agree more. And a lesbian woman on top of it – can't get any more perfect than that, Captain."

"Oh please, Faith, call me Karin."

She patted Faith's hand as she said that, and Buffy could feel herself starting to boil despite the stupidity of that emotion. She kept repeating in her head that Faith was simply doing her job, but why that had to include so much touching was a little on the confusing side. Then Faith confessed that she thought the ship was named: "Ms. Oosterdam", and Karin was just tickled so pink, Buffy was sure she was going to try to hump Faith where she sat.

"That is so adorable."

"Well, I figured it was a whole feminist thing, ya know?"

Karin did know, Buffy could see that she did, and Buffy wanted to smack her right in the face so she could know something else too…and dear God in heaven, could Arlen stop talking in her ear about the last cruise he was on when the engine tried to explode?

The courses arrived one after the other and the food was delicious. Karin even spoke to Buffy twice – once to tell her how pretty she looked and how her dress bought out the green in her eyes, the other to tell her what a lucky woman she was to have captured Faith's heart. It was sweet and it took everything Buffy had not to stand up and go all schoolyard on her:

"Yeah, that's right bitch, I did capture her heart and every other part of her, so get your big man hands off her."

But one look into Faith's eyes pushed the jealousy aside as the totally stupid knee jerk reaction that it was. The stare she gave Buffy was so hot, Buffy almost leapt across the table to get to her. Faith's beautiful mouth formed into a knowing grin, and then she licked her lips as she shot a blast of pure lust at Buffy.

Buffy smiled back and felt herself calming down. Faith was a Slayer, a Slayer playing her part, and even though Captain Star-Jones was very hot in her uniform and probably out of it too…Faith didn't care about her at all. She only had eyes and all of her other parts for Buffy.

The meal finally wrapped and everyone was taken on a tour of the ship. The Captain provided the background, explaining that the ms Oosterdam had been christened by Princess Margaret of the Netherlands in 2003, that it had been built in Italy, and was considered a sister ship to three other "dam" ships. It was capable of hitting 24 knots or 44 KM/H, and Buffy resisted the urge to ask for a translation into MPH since no one else seemed to be confused.

The engine was apparently huge and stretched over the lowest two decks, requiring a staff of nearly fifty people to keep it running smoothly. It was also off limits, although the tour did take them to the Engine Room itself.

"This is where all of the important engine functions are controlled, although we still often rely on the hands-on expertise of our engineers. Chief Engineer Davids can answer any inquiries you might have."

Buffy's dinner companion answered several questions, none of which Buffy cared about, and she was hoping that Faith was paying attention in case something important came up. She'd more than had her fill of him for the night and the cruise and her life…and he was off and running again.

"We greatly reduce our carbon footprint by utilizing a diesel-electric power plant for optimal energy efficiency, and an Azipod propulsion system that maximizes maneuverability."

When the Engine Q & A ended, the Captain took charge again and eventually they all made their way into the kitchen for a quick visit. Everyone received a large piece of cake with their name written on it, cling-wrapped expertly to a souvenir plate. The tour was over and everyone thanked the Captain for a lovely evening, which she assured them was her pleasure. Then the two officers who'd joined them for dinner offered to escort the passengers back to a non-restricted area of the ship.

"Faith, Buffy, may I speak with you for a moment?"

She looked over tomorrow's menu while she waited for everyone to leave, then turned to the Slayers:

"I asked you ladies to hang back because I thought perhaps you might enjoy a private tour."

Buffy tensed, half expecting an offer for a threesome.

"In these unfortunate times, we've had to stop offering these intimate tours, but in case it gets back to my superiors, I'll attribute it to you being our first guests in the Honeymoon Suite. Shall we?"

She took them to the crew's quarters, including their mess hall, laundry, and recreational facilities. The next stop was the bridge, and Karin allowed each of them to steer for a couple of minutes, explaining how everything worked and showing them the ins and outs of controlling such a powerful vessel.

She took them out onto the bow, and the difference was visceral. The breeze was wild, the sound of the water rushing past was loud with the frequent spray misting over them as it hit the ship with great force. Being out there gripping the railing gave them a true sense of just how fast the ship was moving, how the water was like a living thing that was fighting and struggling against the powerful entity that was insistently plowing through it.

The view was breathtaking as they stood there surrounded by a billion twinkling stars and a moon that lit up the water as far as the eye could see.

"It's amazing, isn't it? I never get tired of coming out here, of feeling the water like this. I'm sorry if I sound corny, but it makes me realize we're all a part of the universe and it gives me such a sense of peace and hope every time I'm out here."

"It's wicked cool, Karin."

They stood there for a couple of more minutes and then Karin turned to face them.

"Let me show you my office."

They went back inside and through another door on the bridge.

The office was beautiful too, all dark gleaming wood and with a stunning view of its own.

"Wow, the whole wall's a window."

"Yes, Buffy, a view like that certainly makes doing paperwork a little easier to deal with."

"Damn, Karin, bein' boss really brings the perks, yeah?"

"Absolutely. Would either of you care for a drink?"

They both nodded and she opened a door at the back of her office leading to the Captain's quarters. It looked much like their suite only a bit larger in size. The furniture was more elegant, there were several personal items on display, and the view was flat-out amazing.

"Please have a seat on the couch. It offers the best view on the ship."

Karin brought them their drinks, a white wine for Buffy and a Jack Daniels for Faith, then sat in the plush chair next to the couch. She raised her glass of Scotch in a toast and they exchanged small talk while sipping their drinks and admiring the view.

"You have the place fixed up really nice, Karin. It's beautiful."

"Thank you, Buffy. I like to feel comfortable, and this really is my home for most of the year."

"Your family must be really proud of you, assuming you got'em."

"I do, Faith, but I'm afraid this isn't exactly the career my parents wanted for me. I guess you could say we're somewhat estranged."

"That's a drag. They ever visit?"

"Not yet, but I'm still hoping."

They talked a little bit about Buffy and Faith's background, and then Karin asked if they'd enjoyed everything the ship had to offer.

"Pretty much 'cept the spa and the gym."

"I love the spa and they come to me, so that's a slice of heaven. We also have a gym for just the officers, but I don't use it as often as I should."

Buffy nodded sympathetically:

"I guess it would be hard to stay in shape on a ship."

"I do walk every night around the track before I go to bed, so at least I'm working off dinners like tonight's."

They each had a refill, and then it was with sincere regret that Karin informed them she needed to call an end to the evening.

"I'm afraid I have some of that previously mentioned paperwork to attend to. I can't complain I know, but I do anyway. I hope you enjoyed dinner and the tour as much as I enjoyed getting to spend time with you both. It's definitely one of the best things about my job."

"We had a great time, everything was just perfect. Faith and I really appreciate the private tour, it's just incredible to get a sense of the ship like the Captain does."

Karin smiled:

"Yes, it's a completely different experience, for sure. Right this way, please."

She led them back through the bridge, then opened a door that led into the hallway. Buffy pretended to be confused and tried to open the adjacent door, the one she was certain led to the little room they'd seen a few days ago and wanted to get a look at.

"Isn't this the way back?"

Karin laughed:

"Not unless you want some of the supplies we use on the bridge."

"I dig supply rooms. Made out in more than my share. Wanna let me and B in for a sec so we can kiss? Kinda like the 'Mile High Club'.

Karin laughed even though she was shaking her head:

"I would if I could, but I don't have the code. That's what I have assistants for. Anyway, let me walk you to the elevators."

They got there all too soon and Karin stayed with them until they were inside.

"You two are a such a great couple. I can see how you've become the talk of the ship. Please don't hesitate to let me know personally if I can assist you in any way for the rest of the cruise. Goodnight, Buffy, goodnight, Faith."

The doors slid shut and didn't open until they reached their deck. They held hands as they walked back to their cabin talking about the wonderful evening they'd had, checking for any surveillance once they got there. There was none and Buffy pulled Faith to her for a passionate kiss that had been building all night.

When she let Faith come up for air, Faith was clearly a little dazed as she tried to be professional:

"B, oughta talk about shit first."

Buffy didn't seem to hear her, but then she let out a frustrated sigh and pulled back.

"Okay, something's up with the "supply" room, Karin made me antsy even though she seemed nice and I actually liked her a lot, I want to know what the hell's going on with Carmen and Nancy, and you looked so hot at dinner I wanted to fuck you right on the table."

"..."

"We can't really do anything tonight, but tomorrow when we get to Cabo, I think we should break into Carmen and Nancy's dungeon again and see what happens. Then we'll call home and get their final report; hopefully they'll have something concrete. Then maybe we can have some fun and when it gets late, we'll find a way into that supply room. Did I leave anything out, Faith?"

"Just one thing."

"Which is?"

Faith lifted her up into her arms:

"I gotta know what you taste like covered in turndown chocolate."

Chapter Seven

Faith rolled over to snuggle up to Buffy, only to encounter empty space. She opened her eyes and discovered that she was all alone in the large bed.

"B?"

There was no answer and from the weak light filtering through the curtains it was still early, way too early for anybody to be up unless they were a farmer. Faith had always had a hard and fast rule: if the sun wasn't where it was supposed to be, she was staying put until it was. But rules were made to be broken now, and she flung back the covers and sat up on the edge of the bed.

B?"

After a few seconds, she made herself stand and then stretched out some of the kinks. She noticed the faint fingerprint marks on her left hip and smiled. Buffy could be forceful when she wanted something, not that that was any big surprise, nor was the fact that Faith loved it when she got like that. Slayer sex wasn't exactly for the timid.

She padded barefoot and naked through the dining and sitting areas, then spotted Buffy standing on the balcony. She was wearing her white robe as she leaned against the railing, a cup of coffee in her hand. As Faith had suspected, the sun was just barely peeking over the horizon, but what she hadn't counted on was what a beautiful sight Buffy made.

The orangey red glow burnished Buffy's beauty until Faith felt like she couldn't breathe. She stood still, staring through the wide-open glass doors at Buffy who looked so peaceful and so at home. Her head was tilted back slightly and a small smile appeared on her face as she felt the warmth of the rising sun. She was surrounded by the water and the sky, the Slayer, every bit as elemental as they were, and they rushed with joy to embrace her.

It should have been intimidating, but Faith could so easily see the woman who was standing there. A kind, funny, sexy, sometimes silly girl who wanted to love and be loved, who wanted to see the world she traveled in, and who wanted sometimes just to be normal…something Faith knew she could never, ever be. Buffy was special, even without the Slayer part of her, and Faith had understood that from the second she'd first seen her.

She stepped out onto the balcony and went to her, wrapping her arms around Buffy's waist from behind, kissing her cheek and then resting her chin on her shoulder.

"Morning."

Buffy's smile increased and she leaned back into Faith.

"Hi."

"Can I have a sip?"

Buffy lifted the cup, then tilted it slightly.

"Thanks. Gotta have somethin' if I'm gonna be up this early."

"I tried to be quiet, did I wake you?"

"No, just sensed a disturbance in the Force."

"Which was?"

"My girl was gone."

Buffy turned her head to deliver a kiss.

"But I didn't go far. I'm way too smart for that."

They stood together admiring the view.

"Pretty out here, yeah?"

"It's just incredible."

"So what's that huge orange thing?"

Buffy laughed:

"They call that the sun."

"Oh, I'm used to the smaller yellow one."

"Funny girl."

"Wanna sit on one of the chairs?"

Buffy nodded and turned to her:

That sounds…Faith, you're naked."

"Well, yeah, I just got outta bed."

"I'm not sure how long until we get to Cabo."

"Least a coupla hours."

Faith angled a lounge chair toward the sun and sat down.

"But aren't you chilly?"

"You'll warm me up."

Buffy took off her robe, then sat between Faith's legs with her back against Faith's front. She used her robe like a blanket, covering most of them except their lower legs and feet. They didn't speak, just enjoying the closeness and the sense that the morning was theirs, and theirs alone.

The sun didn't take long to claim its rightful place and neither did Faith's hand. She slowly rubbed back and forth across the soft skin of Buffy's stomach, making them both sigh, happy and content to be exactly where they were.

A sudden splash in the water had Buffy sitting up straight.

"Dolphins!"

She was up like a shot, back at the railing as she pointed them out, and the delight on her face was the best thing Faith had ever seen. It was Buffy as a little girl: so excited and joyful, and looking like she was just seconds away from jumping into the ocean.

Evidently early mornings with Buffy were well worth it; it was just one beautiful sight after the other. This time it was naked goddess Buffy standing unaware and unashamed in all her glorious nudity, the full power of the sun shining on her as several dolphins frolicked apparently for her amusement. Without looking away, she reached her hand back to Faith in a silent entreaty to join her as the dolphins easily kept pace with the ship.

Faith entwined their fingers without delay, and they stood holding hands side by side while they watched the show. The dolphins flew out of the water, sometimes crisscrossing in the air before landing with a large splash. They swam in intricate patterns, then shot out of the waves, spinning and tumbling like the world's greatest acrobats. They talked the entire time, obviously having nothing but fun as they played around.

Buffy was totally enchanted and when the dolphins on mass walked backwards on their tails away from the ship, it looked like they were telling her goodbye.

She responded in kind, waving and laughing:

"Goodbye, guys. Thank you!"

When the last one faded from view, Buffy turned to Faith:

"Wasn't that the most beautiful thing you've ever seen?"

"Second best."

Faith kissed her with all of the feeling she had, and when she finally pulled back, she tucked a strand of hair behind Buffy's ear.

"You are really something, B."

"Look in a mirror, F."

Faith laughed and lifted her into her arms.

"I'd way rather look at you."

She kicked Buffy's robe ahead of them into the living area as she made her way back to the bedroom. She put Buffy down on the bed, kissing her all the way, her hands already exploring.

"I'm sensing you want to have sex with me."

"You're sensing dead on the money, B."

"But what about Carmen and Nan…"

"We got at least an hour before we dock, they're not goin' anywhere. Plenty of time to show you what's really the most beautiful thing in the world."

"I'm going to need lots of convincing, Faith."

"And you're gonna get it, B."

****

Buffy and Faith were standing in front of room 5190 waiting impatiently.

"Okay, they gotta be here."

"Well they're not answering. Are you sure of your sources, Faith?"

"Unless somebody I paid is in on it, they haven't shown up anyplace public and we're not docked yet."

"So I guess we're going in."

"Think we gotta."

Buffy inserted the lock pick and miracle of miracles, Faith managed to stay quiet. As soon as Buffy entered the code, the door lit green and she pushed down on the handle. Splintered wood chips hit the carpet and a piece of metal joined them.

They hurriedly kicked the debris inside and closed the door behind them. It wouldn't stay latched, but it shut good enough to look closed to the casual passerby.

"Guess they didn't use the door much, B."

"I guess not."

They walked down the short hallway and the first thing they noticed was that the bed hadn't been slept in. The second thing they noticed was that there were no personal effects anywhere in the room. The suitcases were gone, the bathroom was spotless, even the plush carpet showed only their own footprints.

"They're fuckin' gone."

"Like they were never here."

"Demons took'em, right under our noses."

Buffy was checking all of the dresser drawers just in case there was a clue of some kind, but there was nothing.

"What I can't believe is that they took those skanks instead of us. What makes them more appealing?"

"B, that's not the point. We got two missing women sold off to be sex slaves to some demon. We gotta figure this out and fast."

Buffy nodded:

"No, you're right, of course……but still, are they blind or just…"

"Buffy!"

"Okay, okay, we'll talk about it later."

"There's nothin' under the bed or in the closet either. I'll check the bathroom, you do the balcony."

It didn't take long and they met back in the bedroom.

"Bathroom's spotless."

"Nothing out there either. Let's go talk to Susan and see what the ship's records have to say."

"Good idea, B."

Fifteen minutes later Buffy was back in her familiar salmon colored seat, watching Faith work Susan like a totally workable thing. She'd been planning to join her, but Faith had merely laughed and pushed her down into the chair.

"B, it's a solo mission. Promise I'll be thinkin' 'bout ya the whole time."

There had been a large crowd ahead of her, all needing directions, brochures, recommendations, and guidance, but Faith had threaded her way through them like an expert, cutting ahead of people several times all without making anyone mad. Susan certainly wasn't angry, she looked nothing but delighted to see Faith again.

Buffy waited impatiently and was relieved when Faith finally turned from the desk and made her way back to the table. She grinned at the slight frown on Buffy's face, then leaned down to give her a quick but passionate kiss before sitting in the chair next to her.

"Suze looked it up, she's got no record of them."

"You mean she doesn't know who they are? She doesn't remember talking to you about it before?"

"No, she remembers fine, it's just far as the records show they're still checked into that room and still on the ship."

"What does that mean?"

Faith laughed:

"Fuck if I know. You're Head Slayer, you're supposed to figure shit out."

"Really? Uh…Huh."

"Just what I was thinking."

"All we know is that if they were abducted while they were on the boat, the supply room has to factor in somehow."

"With ya there."

Buffy was clearly frustrated:

"I wish we could get in there now."

"I'm game if you are. We can use the lock pick deal, and you can go in while I hang in the hall case we need a distraction."

Buffy was already on her feet:

"It's risky, but let's do it."

They linked hands as they meandered their way to the supply room, waiting in the nearby stairwell until the coast was clear.

"'Kay, let's hit it, B. Oughta have at least a few before anybody comes sniffin'."

Buffy inserted the device, but after almost a full minute, nothing happened. She pulled it out and re-inserted it.

"It's not working."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's broken, I mean, it's not doing anything at all."

"Well, we can't hang here much longer."

Buffy tried again, then stood.

"I'm going in, Faith. We might have to deal with the fallout later."

"Then we'll deal. Do it."

Buffy grabbed the handle and turned with Slayer strength and…nothing.

"B?"

"It's not budging."

Faith put her hand on Buffy's, and they both pushed and turned.

"What the hell?"

"It's not even moving a little bit. It's…"

They both heard voices.

"Gotta motor, B."

They headed quickly down the hall, just making the turn before being spotted. They kept going without talking until they reached their own room. Buffy used the lock pick and it worked in seconds.

"Okay, so that just makes the supply room even creepier."

"We're gonna have to go in the hard way, B."

"That's fine with me, I'd like a little exertion. Let's call in and…"

Faith slammed the door shut before Buffy could walk inside, then pinned her face first against it.

"I wouldn't mind exertin' ya."

Buffy tried to turn, but Faith wasn't letting her move an inch.

"I meant 'Slayer' exertion, F."

Faith's hips began moving slowly against Buffy's ass and her voice whispered into her ear:

"Way we do it, it's nothin' but 'Slayer' exertion."

"Faith…"

Her hands somehow slipped in between Buffy and the door to take hold of her breasts.

"You…we need to go…inside…"

"Okay, lemme see if I can get your shorts open."

Buffy laughed, then moaned as Faith squeezed.

"Stop it and let me go. We need to make our call."

"But it's just Carmen and Nancy. I say we act like we don't know anything went down."

Buffy laughed, even though it was awful.

"Faith, that's not funny."

"Yeah it is, and soon as Nancy starts spoutin' 'Pearl of the Pacific' shit and askin' a million questions, they'll toss her right back."

"And Carmen?"

"Who?"

Faith's laugh was followed with a kiss to Buffy's cheek, and then she pulled back.

"Damn, sure is tough fuckin' a do-gooder."

Buffy re-used the lock pick and they went inside. The dime on the door said no one had been inside their room, not even to clean it…which was pretty obvious since it was a total mess. They straightened out the bed, then Buffy sat with her back against the headboard. Faith kicked off her flip flops and sprawled out on her stomach, scooting over until her head was in Buffy's lap.

"What are you doing?"

"Gettin' comfortable. I figure you can handle the call and I'll handle you."

Buffy lifted Faith's head to put a pillow on her lap.

"There you go, you'll be more comfortable now."

"Aw, B, it's like a giant condom's in the way."

"Yes it is, so keep your hands and mouth to yourself."

Buffy played with Faith's hair while she talked on the phone and although Faith tried to stay awake, she quickly nodded off. The feeling of Buffy's hand stroking soothingly against her head, coupled with their three hour sleep before the early morning wake-up, had Faith out like a light in just minutes. She vaguely heard Buffy's voice rise with interest and excitement a couple of times, but Faith didn't bother trying to fight her sleepiness. Buffy would be happy to catch her up later.

When she awoke, she was still in the same spot. She looked around, then up at Buffy.

"Hey, when'd ya get off the phone?"

"About forty-five minutes ago."

"Why didn't you wake me?"

Buffy smiled all soft and warm:

"Because I like watching you sleep and you were sawing logs."

Faith yawned and snuggled in, her right arm flung over Buffy's legs.

"So what did they say?"

"There's a huge underground S&M club in Mazatlan. It's possible Carmen and Nancy just decided to stay there and didn't tell anyone, or maybe the ship's records haven't updated yet."

"Or they been kidnapped and there's a great cover story in place."

"Will's going to do a locator spell and should know for sure where they're at when we call back."

"So did they find any suspects?"

"They finished all of the background checks and no one stands out. Giles also said the ship's manifest doesn't show anybody unaccounted for, not even Nancy and Carmen."

"Big help there then."

Buffy slid down and Faith straightened up until they were face to face.

"Anyway, a long…very long story short, Giles has pretty much ruled out Nancy and Carmen as suspects."

"So if anything, we gotta rescue'em?"

"That's how it looks."

Faith frowned and pouted at the same time:

"Gotta say I'm pretty sick of never gettin' to cut Carmen's head off."

"I know it's hard on you."

"So 'cept for Stan who's worked nineteen years at the Uranus Lounge and seems totally like a good guy, all we got left for a suspect is the Captain."

"That pretty much sums it up."

Faith shrugged and smiled:

"Well, maybe we can kill Stan if he shows us any more pics of his grandkids."

"I think we should focus on the Captain."

"Yeah, think that's right, B. She's the one who gives us a weird vibe."

"And she's got the spiffy Slayer-proof supply room."

"G-Man have any ideas about it?"

"Just that it must be spelled. He also said we shouldn't get caught breaking in because they'll probably make us walk the plank or something like that."

"Hey, nice he's worried about us law wise. Usually doesn't…"

Buffy laughed:

"He doesn't now either. He said it will cost the Council a lot of money if we get caught, so nighttime's our only 'Go' time."

"Figures. Wonder if he'll visit us when we get tossed in the brig? Did they finish checking out Karin?"

"Yep, and she seems fine…although Will said maybe too fine. She certainly earned her promotion, but it's a bit surprising since female captains aren't exactly commonplace. Will says she wasn't even in the running for the position, although she probably deserved it, but then she suddenly just shot up the list and got the job."

"Maybe she fucked her way up."

"She could have, but she doesn't seem like the type, does she? And there's nothing in her history to make it seem like that's even an option."

Faith sat up and ran her hand through her hair:

"This is one fucked up sitch. If we bust into that room tonight and all that's in there is supplies, we got nothing and only one day left."

Buffy sat up too:

"But there's no way there's nothing in there. Whether we can make sense of it in time is another story, but we're going to find something for sure."

"Still no clue how they're gettin' the women off the ship either."

"I thought maybe they could be taking them off when we're at port and picking up supplies and dropping off dirty sheets and towels, but Giles said since it's just a week long cruise, the ship's been self-contained. It has to be the supply room, Faith. Maybe there's a portal in there or maybe it's just a magic holding cell until they can move the women. The Coven and Will still sense all kinds of magic onboard..."

Faith was clearly thinking it through:

"Including the kind that screws up magic."

"Which means something big is going on here. Anyway, the good news is that Giles said we should just enjoy our day, but we have to make sure to call in before we leave port."

"How cool is that, B? Cabo's s'posed to be this huge gay place with lotsa shit to do. We can see all the sights 'til it begs us to stop."

Faith kissed her on the forehead and hopped off the bed.

"C'mon, time's a-wastin'. Let's shower together and get it rollin'. I'll call down and ask Susan to make us up a game plan so we…B?"

"It sounds great."

But it didn't, and it didn't look great either. It looked more like Giles had asked Buffy to reorganize his library while she got a root canal.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

Buffy started to head to the shower, but Faith caught her arm as she went by and spun her around. Faith couldn't see her face with Buffy's back pressed tightly against her, but she didn't need to. The sudden tension in Buffy's body was plenty revealing.

"Wasn't born yesterday. Spill it."

"It's…it's nothing, really."

Faith dipped her head down to kiss Buffy's neck and shoulder.

"B, ya gotta tell me, so just do it now before it's a big deal."

Buffy tensed even more, then blew out a breath:

"I'm not sure I can explain it."

"Well, give it your best shot, that'll probably work for us."

"…I don't want to see Cabo."

"What?"

"I don't really want to see Cabo."

"But B, you always bitch that you never get to see anyplace we go. This is your big chance. The whole day's ours, plus it's Watcher approved."

Buffy nodded and turned to face her.

"I know, and I do want to see Cabo, just not today."

"Well, since we're only here 'til five, it's now or never."

"Could we…Would you be disappointed if we just stayed here…in the room?"

Faith began laughing:

"B, you kill me. I'd stay in bed with you forever if I could. I only said we'd go sightsee 'cause I thought that's what you wanted."

"Well, I do, but I…I'd just rather be with you."

Faith kissed her, then kissed her again before leading her back over to the bed.

"We can fuck all day, order room service whenever we wanna, watch movies, take baths together, sleep, and do it over and over again. I'm all for that, B, at any time."

Buffy slid under the covers, a huge smile on her face:

"That's what I was hoping for."

Faith jumped onto the bed and yanked Buffy over on top of her.

"'Sides, we got a big night ahead of us. We need our rest."

"Absolutely."

"Okay, good plan. See, B? That's why you're Head Slayer, all them brains ya got."

Buffy kissed her:

"The smartest thing I ever did was marry you."

****

The day had been a good one, the best ever, even when Maria had come in to clean-up the room and had caught them otherwise engaged. Buffy had been facing the door and she'd tried to get Faith to stop, at first to no avail.

"Faith, stop!"

"When you're done, B."

"Faith, Maria's…"

Faith's head lifted:

"Why ya talkin'…Oh shit! Hey, Maria."

Maria stood in the doorway with her cart, and after a moment's hesitation she smiled and turned to go.

"Pardon me, chicas. You did not put out the sign. I will put it out and come back when I see it is gone."

They could hear her laughing as she left and Buffy was mortified.

"Oh my God, I can't believe that just happened!"

"Me neither."

"Whoa! Faith, what are you doing?"

"What's it feel like? You were this close, won't take much to get you back there."

Buffy moved away from her:

"Are you crazy? I can't…do that now."

Faith pulled her back:

"Course ya can. Maria's cool and I'll make sure to leave her a kick ass tip."

"Faith, I'm not in the mood to…"

"Sure ya are. Lemme show ya."

Faith won that argument and when they were cuddled up afterwards, she couldn't let it go.

"Just glad you didn't call out her name when…"

Buffy hit Faith's shoulder hard and stalked off to the bathroom.

"You are such a pig!"

She slammed the door closed, but she could still hear Faith laughing, then her voice pitched abnormally high as she attempted to imitate Buffy:

"Oh Maria…right there, Maria…Yes, yes…Oh God, Maria…Don't forget the extra towels and Faith's turndown chocolate…Mariaaaaa…"

Other than that glitch, the whole day had been perfect. They'd reveled in each other as they made love, watched movies, ate all kinds of delicious food, took two baths together, cuddled without saying a word, and napped on and off.

Maria came back a couple of hours after her first visit and acted as if nothing embarrassing had happened. Buffy and Faith were both safely in their robes and they sat in the living area as she worked. Buffy had insisted they take the "sex sheets" off the bed, and she'd asked Faith to "ball them into a pile". Faith had let that joke sail by unvoiced, and she'd gathered up all the towels too.

To Buffy's relief, Maria made the bed and cleaned everything up in her normal spectacular fashion, all while chatting about nothing at all. Buffy knew she should just let it go, but when Maria began pushing her cart out into the hall as Faith held the door open for her, Buffy approached.

"Maria, about earlier…"

Maria patted Buffy's arm:

"Don't apologize. It is nice to see two people so in love. Maybe we didn't wish for me to see that much of two people so in love…"

Faith and Buffy both laughed.

"…but what does it matter? It is the way love goes, and we all now have a funny story to tell. I left two extra sets of sheets in the empty dresser drawer in case, and there are many extra towels in the bathroom. Have a wonderful day."

They'd finished off their free time with a relaxing bath and at four thirty they called home, only to be told nothing helpful.

"I'm afraid we've very little to go on, Buffy. We can't seem to track down Carmen and Nancy in real time; Willow's locator spells are always a step behind them. We know they were inside the compound and doing…well, whatever one does in an establishment called: 'Hurts Me So Good'. Beyond that information, we're sorely lacking."

"So why is Willow not able to track them? If they're using powerful magic to…"

"They're not the ones using the magicks, it's the club that has several witches and shamen under its employ. It seems this establishment caters to all types of clientele, including demons as well as humans, and the effects of the necessary protection and concealment spells rub off on everyone who enters the building. For the foreseeable future, Carmen and Nancy are off the radar."

Buffy blew out a long breath, clearly frustrated.

"Great. So do we have anything solid at all?"

"Everything we've learned indicates that Carmen and Nancy are not involved in this in any way. They've certainly not been kidnapped and it's highly doubtful they're demons. I'd say they're just some rather…kinky individuals."

"B, ask if I can maybe cut Carmen's head off."

"Giles, Faith wants to know…"

"I heard her and no, she may not."

Buffy shook her head and Faith did not look happy.

"This brings me to my major concern at this point: I'm worried about your safety as well as the ramifications of your actions tonight and tomorrow."

"Well we can't just keep sitting back, Giles. We have a job to do and we're going to do it."

"I understand that, Buffy, and I'd expect nothing less from either of you. That's why Willow and I are booked on a flight to meet you in San Diego upon your return Saturday morning. Just in case something should go awry."

Buffy laughed:

"So you're assuming we're going to be in big trouble by the time this is over?"

"Given the circumstances and the fact that we've no clue what it is you're actually getting into…Let's just say I think it wise to be prudent and have plenty of money and magic at our immediate disposal."

"B, ask him if I can smack her a few times."

"Faith wants to know…"

"I heard her, and the answer is still no."

Buffy shook her head again.

"Fuck, this sitch sucks!"

"I can feel us starting to move, Giles, so we need to wrap this up. Whatever machines they use totally kill cell phone signals."

"All right, what do you two have planned?"

"We're going to eat dinner in a restaurant, then go to a concert before we make a big show of going back to our room for the night. Hopefully that will kind of give us an alibi for when we break into the supply room."

"That sounds like the best possible approach given the difficult situation. And after you do manage to make it into the room?"

"We're just going to have to improvise."

"Blast it! I hate that we're going to be out of touch for the next thirty-eight hours. Promise me neither of you girls will take any unnecessary risks."

"I promise, Giles. No unnecessary…"

"What about one bitch slap across the face?"

"Tell Faith the answer remains the same."

Buffy smiled and shook her head at Faith as the connection began to weaken:

"Giles, don't worry. We'll be careful and we'll be fine. We knew it could go this way, that's why you chose us. We're good on the fly and we'll be careful, I promise. See you guys Saturday, hopefully not in chains and under arrest."

"That's not at all amusing, Buffy."

"Sorry."

"Please give Faith my best. Oh, and Willow sends her lo..."

And with that, the Slayers were on their own.

"How 'bout I just flick her nose? That's legal, right?"

They sat on the balcony for awhile, just enjoying the view as they left Cabo and headed for the open sea.

"They sure were right about that place, yeah B? It was totally gayed up."

Buffy laughed:

"It was wicked gay, F."

They went in to get ready to go out, showering alone and taking their time getting dressed. They had decided to eat at the Vista Restaurant and Stan had come through again with a reservation for them at eight.

"It's my pleasure, ladies. You're on your honeymoon, things should go your way."

Although Faith still hated her Smart Casual wear, she didn't complain about it as she put it on, leading Buffy to believe that she was getting used to it. When she said as much out loud, Faith looked at her like she was crazy:

"B, I hate this shit, but since I hardly wore any clothes all day, I figure I can handle it for a coupla hours."

They were once again given a great table and they sat across from each other holding hands, no acting required. Their waiter was Mario, and as everyone on the wait staff had been for the entire cruise, he was efficient and friendly. He took their order and left, promising to be right back.

"So B, honeymoon's winding down."

"It's gone by so fast."

"Yeah, way too fast."

"Faith, I know we haven't…Well, I…"

Her voice was drowned out by the string quartet that was now standing next to their table playing something slow and romantic. Faith smiled and shook her head:

"You guys got anything with some pep?"

They huddled together, then with a grin and a bow, the leader counted down and they began playing: "Like A Virgin".

It was hysterical, clearly meant to be funny, but Faith stood, offering her hand to Buffy.

"Let's shake it up, B."

It was a sedate dance by Faith's standards, but the crowd loved it. They began clapping along and Buffy was laughing as Faith kept spinning her around. They ended the dance with a flourish, Faith dipping Buffy dangerously low before pulling her up effortlessly and kissing her. The quartet and the diners on the upper level, as well as the ones who could see what was going on from the lower level, all applauded. The quartet performed a synchronized bow and then headed back downstairs.

Faith pulled out Buffy's chair:

"Here ya go, B."

"Thank you, but who's going to do your chair?"

"That would be me, your friendly waiter."

Mario slid Faith's chair out and she took her seat.

"Thanks, man."

"After that performance, it's the least I could do."

He left a basket of rolls and two salads, and Faith dug right in.

"Got us some attention again, B."

"Yes, you did. They'll certainly remember we were here."

"So, it's the Indigo Girls playing tonight. Thought we'd go for like half an hour, make out, and then head back to our room all sexed up."

"Sounds perfect. Do you want my…"

"Yep."

She delicately picked all of the croutons off of Buffy's salad.

"Can't believe you don't eat'em."

"I've never really liked them very much, I'm not sure why exactly."

"We're so perfect for each other, ya know, B? Even stale bread works for us."

They took their time eating, ending the meal with coffee and dessert.

"B, ya gonna finish that weird shit or what?"

"No, and it's not weird – it's delicious."

"Guess I'm gonna find out."

Faith pulled the plate of half eaten tiramisu in front of her and dug in.

"It is good, B, but it's weird too."

"That's because it's for the refined palate, F."

"Yeah? Well, goin' down good for me too."

She offered Buffy the last bite.

"Here, B."

Buffy leaned forward:

"How did you know I wanted it?"

"'Cause ever since I started, you been lookin' like you're dying for a taste."

"I was looking at you that way, not the dessert."

But she still ate it, then licked the fork clean as Faith held it for her.

"Damn, B…you gotta be the hottest woman ever made."

Buffy blushed happily:

"You're so sweet, Faith."

"Yeah, like a piece of tie…teri…fancy Italian shit."

They finished their coffee and then Buffy stood, holding out her hand:

"Come on, woman – let's go check out the Indigo Girls."

As Faith took her hand, Buffy pulled her close for a passionate kiss. When it ended, Faith grinned:

"Man, I dig bein' the little lady sometimes."

****

"What I don't get is why they call it the 'Sports Deck'."

Buffy looked at her:

"Because it's got all of the sporty things?"

"Yeah, sure Sporty Spice'll be here any sec. The Lido Deck's got it goin' on, all that's up here is a hoop and a net."

Buffy reached for her hand:

"What you said. Look at the stars, it's such a beautiful night."

"It's nice seein' it with you, B."

Buffy smiled and kissed her:

"You keep saying things like that and I'm going to fall for you."

"'Gonna'? Thought you already had."

Buffy wrapped her arms around Faith and pulled her closer:

"And if I have?"

"Works perfect 'cause I'm head over heels, B."

They kissed again, then looked around.

"And there goes the last couple. 'Bout fuckin' time.Ya ready?"

"Yes, but I still can't believe that we can't do this from our room. You'd think being just one floor below the Bridge would make this a snap."

"Guess boat builders don't give a shit about Slayers, else there wouldn't be that big ass overhang thing in the way."

Buffy blew out a breath and shook her arms to loosen her shoulders:

"Okay, I guess I need to let it go."

"Be nice if ya could."

"Oh yes, because you're the master of letting things go."

"Nice ya noticed, B."

They looked around one last time, but there was still no one in sight.

"Remember Faith: No getting spotted and absolutely no falling to our death allowed."

"Baby, they ain't invented the cruise ship I can't sneak down."

Buffy laughed:

"And how many have you sneaked down in your life?"

"None yet, but I'm big with the self-esteem."

Faith went first as per the coin flip, and it was tough going even when there were things to hang onto. The handholds they'd seen a few days earlier weren't as conveniently placed as they'd seemed to be in the light of day, not when the Slayers had to be careful to avoid detection. They were forced to take a circuitous route, going up and down and sideways to prevent getting spotted by people looking out at the view.

The late hour meant most of the passengers were asleep, but a few night owls were still awake and they made things difficult, as did the ship's nighttime running lights. The Lido and Observation decks were closed, even the staff was long gone, but there was still the problem of the Navigation Deck itself. It was simply luck that on the port side of the ship where the room was located, there was a structural piece of metal that ran down from the Lido Deck to the Upper Verandah Deck. It created a blind spot on the bridge, and it was that exact area that Buffy and Faith were planning to exploit.

"You good, B?"

"I'm being exerted as requested."

"Yeah, climbing down three decks, dodgin' lit up windows on a slippery boat while we hang out over the ocean…Could definitely call that 'exertion'."

They kept going, doing their best not to look down at the black churning water way too many feet below them. As they approached their final destination, it became harder to find anything to grab onto. Whether that was a coincidence or a deliberate arrangement, it was hard to tell in the dark.

"B, you got a good grip?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I can't see anywhere closer to the door to stop. Stay there, I'm gonna try to reach it."

She stretched out, dangling precariously as she held on with only one hand.

"Fuck! No dice."

"Let's switch places."

"What?"

"Let me try."

Faith rolled her eyes even though Buffy couldn't see her.

"How's that make any sense? You're shorter than me."

"Well, I'm coming down. Maybe I can tell you…"

"Stay right there. I don't need you backseat slaying."

But Buffy kept coming anyway, not exactly a surprise to either of them. When she got right above Faith, she stopped.

"Hi, fancy meeting you here."

"Bein' all cute doesn't stop me from bein' pissed."

"Maybe not, but being stuck on the side of the ship isn't exactly going to help your mood either."

"Fine, Princess, what's your idea?"

"Well, it's kind of risky."

Faith rolled her eyes again and did her best to look up at the moron above her.

"Well if it's dangerous, count me out, B. I'll just keep hangin' on here and wait to be rescued in the morning."

"You could shift over to my leg and then I'll come down to your spot. That should give you enough extra reach to open the door."

"With my feet."

"Yes, okay, it's not ideal, but I don't see any other way to do it, do you?"

Faith thought it over for a few seconds.

"Yeah, could maybe work. Okay, let's give it a shot."

Buffy inched down as close as she could to Faith, then extended her leg.

"On three. One…two…three!"

Faith let go and grabbed onto Buffy's leg.

"Wow, I wish you hadn't finished the tiramisu."

"That's funny, B, while I'm hangin' onto your little stick leg."

"Hey, I have good legs!"

"Can we just do this already?"

Buffy began moving down.

"That's as far as I can go."

"It's good, I can touch the handle now."

Faith's sneakers gave her good traction and she began twisting.

"It's working, B. Can you give me any more slack at all?"

"If I let both legs dangle and hold on with just my tongue."

"You definitely got some wicked tongue skills on ya…Go for it."

"Maybe if I hang on with just one hand, but you'll have to be fast because I won't have a great grip."

"Ready when you are."

Buffy counted it off again, then let go. Faith dropped down and her shoes gripped the door handle firmly.

"Got it, B! Hang on for just a few."

Buffy's hand was already slipping and she began trying to figure out what she should go for if she fell. There didn't seem to be anything in sight for a long way down.

"Faster, Faith!"

"Almost…Got it!"

The entire door came off and flew out into the night sea. Both girls watched it go, knowing any chance they had of covering their tracks was now gone with the wind.

"Shit!"

Buffy pulled them up and took a solid grip with both hands.

"See why you need backseat slaying?"

"How was I s'posed to know? Thought it was gonna take full strength."

"I assume you were planning to jump on the door to get into the room?"

"Yeah, was gonna be a piece of cake too. Now what? We're still above the freakin' opening."

Buffy was trying to think and think quickly. She couldn't hold them all night.

"Damn it, I wish we had that rope."

"Yeah, well who knew that shit would be all tied up?"

"Don't make me laugh, Faith."

"Sorry. The bottom line's I need a few more inches lower than we had."

"I can give them to you, but I'll have to fall to do it."

"That's all I can figure too. I'll be there, B."

"Let me look around a little…Okay, there's no place to really hang on, but I should be able to pause a few times."

"Yeah, here's a good spot here and another right there."

Buffy looked down between her dangling legs at where Faith was pointing.

"Got it. Remember when I said I wanted some exertion?"

"Yeah?"

"I take it back."

Faith laughed:

"I hear ya, Slayer."

"I'm ready when you are."

"Good to go."

Buffy edged down carefully, then went back to her previous one-handed grip. She began swinging from side to side, her hold loosening with each swing.

"Get ready, Faith…One more swing…Now!"

Buffy let go as they swung towards the door and Faith landed inside the room, somersaulting to her feet in an instant as she turned with Slayer speed. She gripped the jagged door frame, the metal jamming deeply into her hand as she leaned out as far as she could. Buffy was scrabbling as she fell, slowing her descent as much as possible by grabbing at any tiny niche available and dragging her feet against the side of the ship. Her hand stretched out as she fell past the opening, and Faith just managed to grasp her wrist as she went by.

Faith cried out as the metal cut painfully into her hand, but she held on tight and braced herself while Buffy's body weight tried to pull them both over the side. Once her momentum stopped, Faith hauled her up and in, her hand ripping clear from the door frame as they both fell back breathing hard.

They lay side by side waiting for their hearts to stop pounding, which was going to take even longer since the crew on the Bridge hit the searchlights. Obviously they'd heard the commotion, but there was nothing to see anymore. The lights turned off after a couple of minutes and no one came to check the supply room.

"Jesus, hope we can use the fuckin' door to get outta here."

"Otherwise I'm voting for just staying here until someone finds us. Nice catch, by the way."

"Yeah, well it was that or head after ya. Figured this way was easier."

Buffy kissed her.

"You're bleeding."

"No big. I used the metal to hold us."

"Great idea, but ow."

"It's already healing, B. I'm alright."

"I'm a little afraid to turn around. If there's nothing good in here…"

"B, for real now – if there's not a portal with a sign that says: 'Sex Slave Highway'…"

They stood and turned and although there was no portal, there was plenty to make the journey well worth it.

"Whoa, what the hell's this stuff?"

Buffy walked over to what appeared to be an altar.

"I'm not sure, but it's definitely demony. And there's blood on these stones, so I'd say sacrificing goes on here."

"And over here there's like…fuck, I think it's skin!"

"'Skin' skin or shed skin?"

"How the hell would I know? It's just skin, like big pieces of it. It's wicked gross."

Buffy bent down:

"I can't read it because I don't speak 'Evil Sex Demon', but there's some kind of incantation written on the floor. That's always a sign of bad things."

"And so is skin just layin' on the fucking floor!"

Buffy stood up, wiping her hands on her jeans.

"I think we can safely say that Karin's our demon."

"Yeah, so let's get the hell outta here and figure out how to stop her."

"I just wish we could find out what this says."

"Probably opens a portal for delivery in thirty minutes or your sex slave's free."

Buffy took a last look around, then headed to the door that led to the hallway. She pressed her ear against it for a few moments.

"I don't hear anything."

"Let's go for it then."

They were both silently praying that the door would open because they had no idea how they were going to get out of the room if it didn't. Buffy pushed down on the handle and it swung open with ease.

"Fuck me, B! Luck's finally goin' our way."

They quickly stepped out into the empty hall and it was then that the trouble started. As Buffy tried to shut the door, she found she couldn't.

"C'mon, B. Shut the door and let's motor!"

"Wow, I never would have thought of that, Faith. I can't close the door."

"What?"

"See me pushing, and with Slayer strength and everything."

Faith tried, but it only moved slightly for her as well.

"I think we must have messed up the spell. We probably need to say a password or something."

"Well, 'less you're holdin' out, B, that's not happening. Let's try shoving together."

Their combined strength finally got the door closed, but it didn't want to latch.

"Maybe we can…"

The door to the Bridge began to open and Faith quickly pushed it shut. They could hear the muffled exclamation of surprise and then someone was trying to open it again. Faith held it closed easily as she turned to Buffy.

"Any ideas, now'd be good time to use'em."

Buffy took a running leap and slammed into the door with both feet. She stepped back and waited for it to spring open, but it stayed in place.

"I think I've got it."

There was now a loud banging against the bridge door and Faith grinned:

"Boys want out. Just follow my lead, B."

She then slumped to the carpeted floor, her head lolling as she leaned her back against the door, and the three men yelling and shoving to get out finally managed to succeed – partially.

"Whoa, stand down! There's a body blocking the door. Ma'am? Ma'am, are you all right?"

"Didn't order room service…Fuck off!"

"Ma'am…"

"Baby, there you are!"

Buffy crouched down next to her as the lead exiter tried to slide out the half open door. The space was a little too small and he remained wedged in tight

"Could you please move aside, ma'am? We're trying to get out."

"Hiya, B. I was waiting and waiting, but you never came to bed."

"How much have you had to drink?"

"Wouldn't you like to…to…Wouldn't you…You're pretty."

"Miss, we need to get out."

"What?"

Buffy looked up, seeming to notice them for the first time.

"We need to get out."

"Oh right, we're so sorry! Just one second, please. Faith…"

"I wanna get a drink, B."

"Surely you've had plenty by now, so let's just get you to bed and..."

"Stop callin' me 'Shirley'. HAHAHA!!! Fuck, that movie's funny. You like it, don't ya?"

"Yes, it's great."

Buffy got to her feet and pulled Faith with her. She leaned heavily on Buffy, knocking her slightly sideways.

"Can't wait to get me in bed, can ya Laverne?"

She turned to go into the now wide-open Bridge door, but Buffy steered her around in a circle, smiling apologetically at the crew.

"Baby, this isn't our room."

"Sure it is. Hey, who are these assholes? And why's there three?"

"Ma'am, do you need some help with her?"

"No, I can…"

"Hey, I take good care of my girl! She doesn't need some hot stud in a uniform. You're not even a good lookin' woman, so butt out!"

"Thank you, Officer, but I can handle her. We're so sorry about…everything."

He smiled and tipped his hat.

"It's no problem, it happens a lot more than you think."

"Come on, Faith. I want to show you something."

"Does it have no clothes on and look like you?"

"Yep, and it's right this way."

They staggered off to the elevators and Faith continued leaning on Buffy, nuzzling into her neck, nibbling and kissing, and generally making Buffy crazy for her. They rode down one floor to the Rotterdam Deck and exited clumsily as Faith could barely walk. When the doors closed, Buffy let go and Faith stood up straight.

"Aww, B, don't ya like me hangin' on ya?"

"That's all you've been doing all night. How's your hand?"

Faith looked at it:

"Pretty good."

"Well, I want to check it when we get inside."

Buffy opened the door and Faith shut it behind them when they got inside. She immediately began singing that she was "Closer to Fine" and twirled Buffy around to face the "dime" on the door. It was shiny, shinier than they'd ever seen it, and Buffy kissed her.

"You are so cute."

Yeah?"

"Yeah, but you messed up my lipstick."

Buffy grabbed the tube, but Faith took it from her and sat it down on the table.

"No sense puttin' any on. I'm just gonna mess it up again."

They kissed until it flashed green and they knew there were no cameras in the room. That meant audio devices only.

"Hey B, got any Indigos on your iPod?"

"On my other one I have a playlist, but I'm not sure if I put any on here. Let me check…"

There were three bugs: one in the bedroom on top of the vanity mirror, one behind the side table in the dining area, and the last one was on the balcony ceiling above the whirlpool.

"Shit, B, I can't find my ID card."

"You had it at dinner."

"Well I don't got it now. Damn!"

Buffy tried not to laugh as Faith held up her "missing" ID card and stared at it cross-eyed.

"Don't get all stressed, Faith. Let's just retrace our steps."

"Well, I had it when we got drinks…Wait a sec, I pulled out my room key after we got outta the elevator, so it's probably in the hallway! C'mon, let's go check."

"Why do you insist on wearing those jeans? This happens every time."

"But baby, who cares about shallow pockets when my ass looks this great?"

As soon as their cabin door closed, Faith was talking:

"Okay, so somebody's listenin' in."

"Uh-huh, and two guesses who it is."

Faith nodded:

"So do we play dumb for her or should we just put it out there?"

"We still have the element of surprise as far as us being Slayers, but I think we should put everything else out there and see if we can make her do something physical."

"Thing is, how'd she know? It just happened and no way did she have time to…"

"No, it's not because of tonight, Faith. It's from when we were trying to open the door before. She must have an alarm and maybe even a camera in the hallway."

"Makes sense. Okay, so we try to get her to come after us. What about our other problem?"

Buffy was puzzled.

"Other problem?"

"Yeah, no way you'll let me fuck you if somebody's listening in."

Buffy turned red.

"Uh…no, I won't."

"So what do we do?"

"Well…there's no bug in the bathroom."

"Sold! Let's go."

"But we have to make sure to close the door."

Faith grinned and picked her up:

"We'll leave the water running too."

Buffy kissed her, but after reciprocating, Faith didn't move.

"Hello, sex in a Jacuzzi tub is waiting right on the other side of that door…and through two rooms…and two more doors, but still..."

"Yeah, it is."

"So, let's go! Severely exerted muscles here and a serious case of the hornies."

"By any chance, B…did you grab your room key or the lock pick when we came out here?"

Buffy started laughing and tucked her head into Faith's chest.

"I've got nothing."

"Me either. Wanna just do it in the hall?"

"Um…maybe we should use the phone in the Neptune Lounge and get somebody to come unlock the door."

Faith put Buffy back on her feet and they headed for the Courtesy phone just a few doors down.

"Let's call the Captain. Sure she'll wanna help us out."

Chapter Eight

Friday was a beautiful day: blue skies, yellow sun, and cool breezes blowing across the ship's deck as the ms Oosterdam sailed for San Diego. The passengers were out in full force, the pools were packed, the restaurants were jumping, and all of the amenities were being used to their utmost. The last day was going to be as thoroughly enjoyed by as many people possible before they had to trudge back to their normal, everyday lives.

Buffy and Faith were currently enjoying some of the pleasures the Lido Deck had to offer. They'd had a delicious breakfast at the little outdoor café before moving over to the two cozy lounge chairs that were located poolside. Life was perfect on the cruise, and Buffy and Faith were making sure to enjoy it while they waited for someone to try to kill them.

Faith was having a particularly good time rubbing suntan lotion all over Buffy and seeing what she could get away with.

"Faith, I think you've already done my thighs."

"Yeah, but I see a spot I missed."

Faith let her fingers edge a little too far under Buffy's suit.

"See, B? I didn't get here before."

"Just because you're turning me on doesn't mean I'm going to let you cop a feel."

"What about this?"

Faith's fingers drifted slowly towards the inside of Buffy's thighs, swirling lightly as they roamed. Buffy looked at her over her sunglasses:

"Faith, stop it."

"But ya got goose bumps and everything."

Buffy's hand encircled Faith's wrist with an iron grip.

"I'm not going to have a sexual experience out here with fifty people watching."

"How 'bout if I get twenty-five of'em to close their eyes?"

"Go cool off in the pool."

"Can I at least get a kiss first?"

Buffy couldn't help but smile:

"You really have to be seen to be believed."

"Not gonna help much, B. Gotta experience the whole package to really get it."

"Don't I know it."

Buffy lifted up until their lips met, and she chose to ignore that Faith's left hand palmed her right breast as she "struggled" for balance. The kiss lasted a while, Faith's tongue taking control and her hand squeezing in time with its movements.

"Faith…"

Buffy had to pull away or she was going to take her right then and there.

"…stop feeling me up and go cool off."

With a grin and a final squeeze, Faith headed for the pool. She dove in gracefully with every eye on her, and Buffy watched her beautiful body stroke smoothly through the water. That body was made for stroking and for being stroked, but no matter how many people were looking at her and wishing it was them, it was only Buffy that was going to get to stroke to her heart's content. When she added in the fact that Faith was the very best stroker ever…

Her view was suddenly obstructed as a tan, smooth, shapely set of hips and a perfectly toned stomach got between her and wet, almost naked Faith. She looked up to see who it was, but she never got the chance.

"Buffy!"

And then Carmen was leaning down to embrace Buffy, her almost naked breasts rubbing against Buffy in way too many places, and her lips kissing Buffy's cheek like they had every right to. But it wasn't over as Carmen went all continental and switched to the other cheek, her breasts dragging across Buffy's and making her squirm…which made it a million times worse.

She finally got off…of Buffy by straightening up, but then she sat down on the edge of the chair with her, and the term "uncomfortably close" didn't even remotely do it justice.

"How are you? It seems like forever since we last saw each other! Nancy and I stayed in Mazatlan and caught a charter plane to Cabo. We just made it back in time before the ship took off!"

"Um, could you move?"

No, apparently she couldn't, or maybe she could. Her ass was certainly in constant motion as it kept rubbing back and forth against Buffy's thigh.

"You look absolutely stunning in that bikini! Your skin's so perfect everywhere, not a flaw in sight."

"Carmen…"

She started to run her hand down Buffy's leg and then she was gone, sailing through the air to land in the middle of the pool with an enormous splash. Faith never even looked back. She simply bent down and gave Buffy a peck on the lips, then hopped onto her own chair and stretched out.

"You were right, B. I always forget how much swimming settles me down."

Her eyes closed and her body looked totally relaxed, but Buffy knew it wasn't over. Not by a long shot.

Carmen was climbing out of the pool with murder in her eyes, well, what Buffy could see of them through the straggles of dark, wet hair hanging on her face. Even though she should have looked like a drowned rat, she was still somehow stunningly beautiful, and Buffy had to wonder how women like her could pull off "beautiful" no matter what circumstance they found themselves in. Although Faith was really the master at that because…

"Stand up, puta."

Faith never moved.

"You hear me, bitch. Get up!"

Faith still didn't move, her eyes remaining closed, and Buffy got to her feet to diffuse the situation. Carmen's arm unexpectedly shot out as Buffy was halfway up, and the shove knocked her off balance and back onto her chair. It was then that Faith's eyes opened and they did not look friendly.

"Thought I just made it clear you don't touch my girl."

"Is that what you thought you were doing?"

Buffy spoke up quickly:

"Carmen, you don't want to…"

"Buffy, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to shove you. I'm also sorry you're married to this…this creature, but she needs to be taught some manners."

Faith's smile was nothing but dangerous:

"You'd like that, yeah, Carmen? Get me all tied up, at your mercy. Or maybe your bigmouthed ball and chain is the dom. Seems like it couldn't be, but I know how that kink goes. So tell us, Carm: Who's on top?"

Carmen flushed and took another step closer.

"Stand up."

"Carmen, I know you're upset, but Faith and I are together and you have been pretty grabby. Why don't you just…"

"I'm not talking to you, Buffy. I'm talking to your filthy cunt of a wife."

That got Buffy on her feet:

"Whoa! Let's not go there. I let you get away with 'puta', but the 'c' word is way out of bounds. Just leave before…"

Carmen looked at Buffy:

"I don't know why you're with her, but it's a disgrace and it's sickening to watch."

Faith half sat up on her chair:

"Can't stand it, can ya? The most beautiful woman on this boat's with me, and here's the best part: She wants to top me? I'll let her. She wants me to top her, I'll swing that way. I'll do anything for B, including not snapping your neck and tossing your worthless body overboard. Now run the fuck along."

Carmen stood frozen in place, her face a study in fury…and then she swung at Faith. It was a pretty good swing, there was some power behind it and she had good form. She also had her fist held in Buffy's hand and the Slayer's eyes were looking into hers.

"Wow, you really are just that stupid, aren't you? Let me explain: Faith and I are in love, and that doesn't include you and Nancy. It doesn't include us playing sex games with you, and it definitely doesn't include you calling the woman I love such ugly names and then trying to hit her."

Carmen tried to pull her arm back, but found she couldn't budge at all.

"She told you to leave, but then you decided you had to escalate things. That was a mistake, Carmen, because now you've made me mad and anyone who knows me will tell you that's never a good thing."

Buffy easily forced Carmen's arm back to her side, then walked her backwards to the edge of the pool. Her hands slid down to grasp Carmen's waist and she lifted her onto the ledge in front of the pool deck.

"I'd suggest you stop bothering us now, and please pass the word along to Nancy that I won't tolerate another bad word about Faith. I don't like it, and I'm all done being nice. Oh, and if you see Ilene, tell her I said her show sucked."

And with that, Buffy shoved and Carmen flew back into the water. Buffy didn't hang around to watch, she was already returning to a beaming Faith.

"Would you mind if we went back to our room now? I have the sudden urge to do disgraceful things to you."

"…You said we're in love."

"Uh-huh. Aren't we?"

"Damn straight, we are."

Faith grabbed her and delivered a kiss that everyone watching wanted for their own. They heard the applause, and when the kissed ended, Faith turned Buffy with her to face them:

"Been a blast girls, but me and B got us some business to take care of."

Buffy had a huge "Buffy" smile on her face, and she waved all shy and goofy as Faith wrapped an arm around her waist and led her off. Carmen stormed out of the pool and overheard a group of friends talking as she passed by:

"See? Told you when we first saw them – those two are crazy about each other."

"And they look beautiful together."

"Dark and light, can't beat it."

"Plus they're both so strong and sexy."

"That was hot how they stuck up for each other. Damn!"

*****

Last night had been difficult. Once they'd managed to get back into their locked room, Buffy and Faith had had sex in the bathroom in just about every way possible, and then they had gone to bed and cuddled while discussing their "latest" case. They'd decided that pretending to be hired by someone to investigate the Captain and her ship would be the most effective way to get some action, and they'd played their roles to the hilt before going to sleep.

"What do ya think, B?"

"I don't know, but something very weird is going on and Captain Karin's in it up to her eyeballs."

"When we get to San Diego, I know some guys who should be able to get in there."

"I hate to involve anyone else, but our first priority has to be our client."

"If we gotta, we can always go to the cops, but I don't think they'll know what they're dealing with."

"Let's make that our last resort, F. We need to set up some type of surveillance on her and run a more thorough background check. Maybe there's something there we missed the first time around."

"Well, whatever it is, it's big. Let's see if we can get a sit-down with her tomorrow, maybe rattle her enough so that she fucks up."

They'd continued the charade when they woke up in the morning. Buffy even talked about her reporter friend at the L.A. Times who would be very interested in what they'd found so far. But now as they entered their room in the late morning hours, Faith was apparently all done with the set-up.

"Okay, Karin. We're done playin' games. I wanna be with B now and I'd prefer you not gettin' your jollies while we do it. We'll meet ya at midnight on the Sports Deck. Try somethin' between now and then, well, better be ready for this boat to capsize."

She ripped the bug from the side table, strode out onto the balcony and leapt up, snatching the one from the ceiling. She came back in and grabbed Buffy's hand, dragging her behind her into the bedroom. As she passed by the bed, she pushed Buffy down on it, then tore off the last listening device from the vanity mirror.

"Be right back, B."

She went into the bathroom and Buffy heard the toilet flush…twice. Then Faith was walking back to her wearing nothing but a smile.

"They're gone. Why ya still got your suit on?"

"Because you're beautiful."

Faith's smile increased, and she hopped on the bed, straddling Buffy.

"Okay, that makes no sense at all, B. I like it."

Faith ran her hands under Buffy's bikini top, feeling the hardness that was waiting for her touch.

"It's not much of a roadblock and it's wicked hot."

Buffy moaned loudly:

"It feels good too."

Faith kissed her, her mouth trailing down.

"Ya taste like 'coconut flavored B'."

Buffy's stomach quivered as Faith's lips caressed it, her teeth nipping lightly as she traveled downward. She sat up, her hands rubbing back and forth along Buffy's legs until she picked up exactly where she'd been forced to leave off, her fingers trailing to the inside of Buffy's thighs and easing under her bikini bottoms.

"Faith…"

"Was tryin' to do this before, but ya just wouldn't let me."

"Feel free now."

"I feel like I'm flyin', B."

*****

They went to the Lido Restaurant for lunch and assembled a huge meal to take back to their balcony to enjoy. They weren't taking any chances they didn't have to, and ordering room service would have potentially given the Captain and any of her unknown associates an open invitation to tamper with their food.

"Yeah, we order room service, I wake up tied down with Carmen beatin' the shit outta me and you got Nancy askin' you questions with no end in sight."

Buffy shuddered:

"I'm not sure which one would be worse."

After they finished the food, they held hands and watched the view go by until Faith turned to Buffy with a big smile:

"Okay, we gotta go get ready now."

"Ready? For what?"

Faith stood up:

"Got a surprise for ya."

Buffy was instantly suspicious:

"Is this a good surprise or a bad surprise?"

"Yeah B, it's a bad surprise, so could you get up so I can make ya cry?"

"Sorry, it's just that usually surprises…"

Faith rolled her eyes:

"Man, gonna take a lotta work to whip you into shape."

Buffy stood up all defensive:

"Well, can you blame me? It's like every one of my birthdays since…"

Faith kissed her.

"B, just shut up and let me tell ya, okay?"

"Okay."

"I made us an appointment at the spa for the works."

"Really? I love things like that! And you're doing it too?"

"Well, sure. Can't have you bein' the only hot bitch here."

Buffy kissed and hugged her:

"You're so sweet, Faith."

"Surprise! Go get ready, we gotta motor."

They got there and only had to wait a couple of minutes before they were taken to their room. It was just enough time for Faith to whisper to Buffy to play along.

"With what?

"We're here as Carmen and Nancy."

"What? Why?"

'Sides the chance to stick'em with the bill -- which far as I can see, they owe us way more – I thought it'd be safer if Karin couldn't track us everywhere we go."

Buffy nodded, clearly thinking it over.

"That's smart, Faith……and can you just imagine the look on their faces?"

"Yeah, and when you get the deluxe package for two, it gets pretty pricey."

They were laughing when their masseuses came to get them:

"Ms. Hernandez?"

Faith stood and offered her hand to Buffy:

"Right here, and this is the lovely Ms. Conrad."

"If you'll follow us, ladies, we'll get started."

The private room had a beautiful view with an entire wall of windows that revealed nothing but the ocean. The side by side massage tables were next to the windows and once it became clear that neither masseuse was planning to shove them overboard, there was no way for the Slayers not to relax and enjoy each pampered moment.

The rubdowns were great when they finally managed to convince Gerda and Debbie that they could actually handle the deeper massage.

"That's not too hard is it, Ms. Conrad?"

"…"

"Ms. Conrad?"

"…Who? Oh, me! Yes, I mean, no. It feels like heaven. And please, just call me Buf…Nancy."

"Pardon, miss?"

Buffy heard Faith laughing under her breath.

"Just call me 'Nancy', Gerda."

When the massages were over, they soaked in the Jacuzzi tub for half an hour, sipping champagne and eating chocolate covered strawberries. Faith let Buffy have the spot with the ocean view.

"Take it, Nance, I'll just stare at you."

Buffy blushed at the look in Faith's eye.

"Don't even think about it, Carmen."

"I won't do it, B, but no way can ya stop me from thinkin' about it."

And Buffy couldn't, that much was clear, and she was rattled after just five minutes.

"Would you please stop?"

"What?"

But the smirk on her face said Faith knew exactly what Buffy was talking about.

"Faith, we're supposed to be relaxing."

Faith slide forward:

"One kiss, then I'll stop."

"'One kiss'? That's it?"

"Yep."

"Okay, that's not a prob…"

"But we gotta share this strawberry first, then our lips can meet like in 'Lady and the Tramp'."

"Faith, they could walk back in at any second."

"They're not comin' in, that's why they said they'd buzz us five minutes 'fore they come back. They expect us to be fooling around."

Buffy was obviously against the idea, or at least uncertain about it, but she opened her legs so that Faith could slide closer.

"One shared strawberry and one kiss, then you have to go back over there."

"Sure. Wanna lawyer up or just shake on it?"

Buffy chose a strawberry and placed it between her lips.

"Jus gwo, Fway!"

"What, B?"

Buffy put her hand behind Faith's head and pulled her close. Faith had no choice but to open her mouth, and she snatched the fruit right away from Buffy.

"Hey!"

Faith let the strawberry drop into the bathtub, a wicked grin on her face.

"What are you doing, Faith? That wasn't part of the deal."

"Sure it was."

"You said we were going to share the strawberry until our lips met!"

"Didn't say which lips, B."

And with that, Faith disappeared under the water.

"Faith!"

But then they were lips to lips, and it wasn't long before Buffy couldn't exactly remember what her objection had been. The good news was that Faith was back up before the buzzer rang, and no one said a word to her about how wet her hair was. The happy, smart ass smile on her face explained the wicked sitch just fine.

****

They ate their final onboard dinner at the Lido Restaurant, and despite the impending battle that was coming all too soon, they were having a great time just eating and telling funny stories.

"No, really, Faith. Kennedy does something like that almost every time."

"Not arguing that, just can't figure how she never gets her ass totaled."

"I have no idea, but any tiny change and she just stands there like an idiot."

"Fuck B, can you imagine her in bed: 'But wait, Willow, we're supposed to do three thrusts and then two swirls!'"

Buffy almost sprayed her mouthful of Diet Coke all over the table as she laughed.

"Oh God!"

"'But baby, you always do that with your left hand!'"

"Stop! All I know is that Will says their sex life is excellent."

"B, you know there's no way 'less she uses magic all the fucking time….literally."

They were both laughing when the Steward approached their table:

"Pardon me, are you the Lehanes?"

"Ya got us."

He smiled and handed Faith a sealed envelope.

"This is from the Captain. Please enjoy the rest of your evening."

With a tip of his hat and a friendly smile, he was gone, leaving the Slayers to stare at the potential hand grenade he'd left behind.

"What'd ya think: anthrax or just 'yo mama' jokes?"

"She'd be stupid to try and kill us in public. The same with putting anything in writing."

Faith handed her the letter.

"You're Head Slayer, B. You handle it."

Buffy opened it gingerly.

"Okay, so far, so good. No white puffs of powder, no explosions…"

"Maybe it's an invite to her next skinning party."

"I guess there's only one way to find out."

Their outdoor table wasn't isolated, but there weren't a lot of people around them either, most passengers opting instead to eat at one of the fancier restaurants on the final night. Buffy still kept her voice a little lower than normal to be safe, but Faith could hear her easily:

Buffy and Faith,

I suppose a friendly greeting isn't exactly in order, is it? I somehow find that a great pity. I will most assuredly meet you at the time and place you suggested, aft will work best, and I hope your afternoon was as jolly as you wanted it to be.

Sincerely,

Captain Karin Stahre-Janson

"That's it?"

"Yep, she's apparently a demon of few words."

"She doesn't seem too spooked either."

"No, I'd say she's downright self-assured and way too calm."

Faith nodded and reached for Buffy's hand:

"Which kinda makes it seem like she's got a trap set for us."

"I'd say that's pretty likely."

"Then I'm thinking just walkin' up the stairs isn't our best bet, B."

"A different approach is definitely needed."

Faith stood and brought Buffy with her:

"Okay, I say we head back to the room and come up with a kick ass plan."

"That's a fabulous idea, Faith."

"Yeah, well, I'm not just a sex object, ya know?"

****

The night was another beautiful one, topping off a perfect week of weather for a Mexican Riviera cruise. The stars were out by the zillions and the breeze was still warm, but with a slight coolness that made it feel nothing but delightfully refreshing…at least to human skin. Buffy didn't have a clue how it felt to a demon.

She walked along the empty Observation Deck and emerged from under the overhang of the Sports Deck into the Aft pool area. It was pretty at night, the lights adding to the festive quality, but Buffy had no time to enjoy it as she climbed the outdoor steps up to the Sports Deck, her eyes sweeping the area for any signs of an ambush.

She spotted Karin seated in a chair in front of the entrance to the basketball/volleyball court, and she stood slowly as Buffy approached. She was dressed in jeans, a black t-shirt, and white tennis shoes with red trim, the very picture of a normal woman, but then that was the image Buffy herself presented to the world.

She stopped about twenty feet away, hyperaware of every sound and movement around her, and ready for action in an instant if need be.

"Hello, Buffy."

"Hi, Karin."

"And where is Faith, if I might ask?"

"We had a fight and I threw her overboard."

Karin chuckled:

"I've heard the Slayer has a sense of humor in all circumstances."

"So you know who I am."

"I suspected as much, but then tearing off a metal door you shouldn't have even been able to get near, that kind of confirmed my suspicions."

"That was Faith's bad. After the spell on the regular door, she thought it was going to be harder to open."

"A logical assumption on her part. I stupidly assumed I'd taken sufficient precautions to ensure that no one could reach it. I hadn't anticipated on two Slayers trying."

Buffy began looking around:

"What about when you dock?"

"I clear it out before then and when we sail, no one even remembers it's there."

"You wipe their minds or use a 'concealment' spell."

Karin nodded:

"And it's worked like clockwork until now. So, what's next for us?"

Buffy shrugged:

"I don't suppose you'd want to kill yourself in a tragic boating accident?"

Karin laughed again and shook her head:

"Sorry, I'm not the suicidal type."

"I didn't think so. If you don't mind me asking – what kind of demon are you?"

"I'm afraid that has to stay my secret since it could only help you kill me."

"Well I had to ask, just in case. You'd be surprised how many demons tell me stuff."

Karin walked to the railing and peeked over:

"I doubt you've ever faced my kind before or even heard of us. We're rare now and we don't exactly adapt well to living with humans."

"We noticed."

"So when will Faith be revealing herself?"

"Just as soon as you reveal your minions."

"There's no one up here but the three of us, Buffy."

Buffy smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes:

"And you expect me to believe that?"

"No, you wouldn't be the oldest Slayer on record if you did. You're legendary among my kind, you know."

"You're not going to ask for my autograph, are you?"

"In different circumstances, I might. We tell your tales and you're widely feared and respected around the world. Very few would dare to challenge you."

"And yet here you are all by your lonesome, doing just that."

Karin walked over to the other side of the courts and looked towards the stairs.

"Not by choice, I can assure you. If we were on land, I could have invoked the sacred bond and had back-up with me even though I am somewhat of an outcast."

"My heart breaks for you, Karin."

"If you persist in this, one or more of us will surely die."

"Faith and I are hoping that's your part in things."

Karin's hand pulled on the rope connected to the netting covering the courts and it fell, almost catching Buffy in its midst. Unfortunately for Karin, "almost" didn't work when it came to the Slayer and Buffy rolled clear…right into the heavy deck chair Karin threw. It caught Buffy on the left shoulder, the heavy wood slamming her back against the metal railings and machinery behind her.

Faith decided to tag in, and she slid down the line of lights strung from one of the ship's funnels to the pool area, using a stolen piece of rope from one of the lifeboats. Lights popped and smoked as they broke, the glass flying everywhere as she timed her jump perfectly. She landed on Karin and knocked her hard to the deck. They were both on their feet in seconds, but Faith was up first and she swung, connecting with Karin's jaw. She went down again, smashing into the railing with enough force to bend the metal slightly. She staggered quickly to her feet and stood in a defensive position until she saw that Faith wasn't attacking.

"B…"

"I'm fine."

Faith turned to Karin:

"Fucking bitch. I'm gonna…"

Karin straightened, her hands spread out in a placating gesture.

"I'm sorry. You're not really hurt, are you, Buffy?"

"No worries, I'll still be able to snap your neck when I need to."

"I merely wanted to see where Faith was. It was making me nervous knowing that she was lurking someplace unseen and ready to strike."

"Yeah? Well let's see how nervous you get when I'm in your fucking face."

Karin resumed her defensive stance:

"I don't suppose there's some way to avoid this?"

Buffy stood, shaking off the pain in her shoulder.

"That tragic boating accident thing is still on the table."

"Don't forget that can go both ways, Slayer."

"Let's knock off the chitchat and get to it."

And with that, Faith waded in, delivering three quick punches that rocked Karin back. She turned with Faith's next blow and kicked out, catching her in the stomach. The air whooshed out of Faith as she crashed into her own section of railing, her spine trying hard to tell her it needed a much softer landing spot the next time around.

"Buffy, we'll be in San Diego in a few hours. Why not just walk away?"

"Because we fight demons, Karin, it's in the job description."

Buffy hit her with a four punch combo, the final blow lifting Karin over the railing and sending her crashing down hard into the chairs by the Aft pool.

Faith was back up and at Buffy's side as they watched Karin struggling to untangle herself.

"Are you okay?"

"Coupla fucked ribs on my right side. You?"

"My left shoulder's going to be trouble."

"Works out good. I'll stay on your left, you stay on my right. Let's end this bitch."

Buffy took the stairs at Slayer speed as Faith jumped the railing, landing cleanly on the deck. Karin was up and she caught Faith on the jaw with an uppercut, but Faith kept coming anyway. She tackled Karin back into the chairs, making them both groan in pain as they knocked several over and landed awkwardly on the others. They finally ran out of seats and tumbled to the deck, rolling over a few times as they struggled for control… and then Karin's knee caught Faith in her bruised ribs.

She yelled and her grip loosened, allowing Karin to stand. She started to kick Faith in the side when both of Buffy's feet struck her dead center in the back. She hit the deck and slid face first into the railing, and Buffy never hesitated. She ignored Faith, leaping over her prone body to land on Karin's back right where she'd just kicked her.

Karin practically screamed from the intense pain, and Buffy hooked her arms around her neck and began twisting. She pulled Karin's torso back in an inverted bow, doing her best to break her neck and snap her spine at the same time.

"See? I told you these bitches were up here. Closed for repairs, my ass. Buffy, this isn't over. I want…Oh my God!"

The distraction was exactly what Karin needed and the sound of Buffy's cry as her arm was twisted right to the breaking point was loud in the night air. She rolled clear as Karin whirled to face her, lessening the demon powered head butt to merely brain rattling instead of the fight ending unconsciousness Karin had been aiming for.

"Get the fuck out of here!"

Faith was up and gesturing at Nancy and Carmen to run, but they were both in shock and continued to stand in place, paralyzed by the sight of the fight.

Buffy and Karin were squared off and trading ferocious blows. Blood sprayed everywhere as they stood toe to toe, and when Faith saw that Buffy was holding her own, she tried again:

"Move, you fuckin' idiots. It's not safe for you up here!"

A chair came sailing through the air, and although Faith couldn't believe it herself, she dove into Carmen, knocking her to safety and taking the impact in her injured ribs and back. She landed on top of her and Carmen was screaming bloody murder like she was being eviscerated.

"Shut up, asshole, you're fine. Shhh…Pipe down!"

Carmen wouldn't stop and even though the deck was closed and the deck below was the rowdy, loud, party central Lido Deck, somebody was going to hear her ear piercing, banshee wailing and come up to investigate. What they would find was two passengers attempting to kill the Captain, and that just wasn't going to fly.

With a grin, Faith punched Carmen and knocked her out. She got to her feet, flicking Carmen's nose for good measure while she did, then dragged her off to the side and out of harm's way. Next she looked at Nancy who was just short of running around like a chicken with her head cut off. Faith picked her up, gently eased her into the pool, and then told her to stay there or she'd personally snap her neck.

Nancy stayed in the pool.

Blood was still spraying, grunts and groans were flying fast and furious, and two against one didn't seem like much of an advantage because Karin was one tough demon. Faith looked around for a weapon, but the best thing she could find was a chair. She snapped off a thick jagged piece and looked for an opening. Buffy quickly gave it to her, but Karin sensed Faith coming and brought her arm up just in time.

She yelled and tried to pull back as Faith excruciatingly dragged the makeshift stake down the length of her arm.

"I don't want this!"

"Yeah, well too bad. You're gettin' it."

Karin kicked out and hit Faith hard in the thigh, but she retaliated by punching Karin's brand new arm wound. She went down screaming with the pain and Faith was right there, the stake held high as she prepared to ram it into the demon's heart.

"Hey!"

A man in uniform tackled Faith, knocking her aside. Karin stood at the same time Buffy did and they collided, knocking Buffy backwards. There was nowhere to go except over the railing, and Buffy spun herself in the air and just managed to grab on with her left hand. Her damaged shoulder protested the strain, but Buffy ignored how much it hurt and hung on. She quickly switched hands just as her bad arm gave up the ghost and went numb.

She heard footsteps approaching and she looked up hoping to see Faith. Instead she saw Karin, not exactly the best sight she'd ever seen in her life. Buffy spotted Faith buried under a barrage of officers who'd followed the first one in, and she could hear the desperation in her voice:

"Get off me! Buffy, hold on! Look at the goddamn railing!"

"This isn't what I wanted, Slayer."

"Not real crazy…about it…myself."

"You are the Chosen One. I won't let you die."

Buffy heard Faith fighting her way clear, the deck littered with unconscious crewmen, as she tried to reach her before Karin could knock her loose.

"Here, take my hand."

"I can't raise my other arm."

"Will Faith listen to me?"

"No."

Karin smiled:

"That's what I thought. This is so not going to look good from her angle."

She leaned way over the railing and grabbed both of Buffy's arms, struggling with her own injuries to pull the Slayer to safety. It hurt like hell for both of them, but Karin hung onto her and they fell back on the deck.

And then Faith was on her. She pummeled Karin with all of the rage and fear she felt, and Karin didn't stand a chance.

"Faith! Faith, stop! Faith!"

She blinked and looked at Buffy in a daze.

"B?!"

She hugged Buffy to her as tightly as she could.

"Jesus…I thought you were dead."

"I'm fine, except now I can't breathe and you're killing me."

Faith kissed her, then eased off…turning her attention back to Karin.

"Got three seconds before I finish killing you."

"Faith, she pulled me up."

"And she started this whole deal. Fine, five seconds."

Karin sat up shakily, spitting out blood as she leaned gingerly against the metal railing.

"I will not take the life of a Slayer."

Faith started toward her, but Buffy's hand grabbed her arm.

"And this change of heart comes from where?"

"I told you that from the start. Being a Captain, living as a human, none of it's worth doing such an evil thing. I understand that Slayers are needed, that you are the warriors who protect the good in this world. Just kill me quickly, please. I won't fight back."

"Ya want a medal now? You fucking murder people and sell women as sex slaves. How the hell do you get the high ground here?"

Karin looked at Faith as if she'd gone insane:

"What? I do what?"

"We saw the room, Karin."

"I'm aware of that, Buffy, but what does my transformation room have to do with murder and selling women?"

"Lemme fucking show you."

Buffy had to hang onto Faith again.

"You tell us, Karin."

"I'm a Drasdon demon, yes, but I'd never do what you're accusing me of. I've given up everything to live among you, and I've never hurt a person in my life...well, except for you guys tonight."

"Right, so wanna explain the human skin we found?"

Karin flushed, embarrassed.

"It's mine. This human body breaks down every few days and I have to re-grow it. It evaporates in a day or so."

Buffy was massaging her sore shoulder:

"And the blood all over the stones?"

"Also mine. I shed like a snake in a way, but human skin adheres tighter than other forms as I'm emotionally attached to being human. My spirit tries to hold on."

"Are you tellin' us you didn't kill anybody?"

Karin sat up as straight as she could and held her hand over her heart:

"Faith, I swear on both my mothers' souls I haven't killed or kidnapped anyone."

It was obvious to both Slayers that she was telling the truth.

Buffy stood shakily:

"Why is there even a room? Why don't you just use your quarters?"

"The ritual requires a space that's not mine, a place that's been blessed as pure. My quarters wouldn't work."

Faith stood and wrapped her arm around Buffy:

"So you're doing all the magic just to hide in plain sight?"

"Yes. I'm a shaman, and I use the magic to keep the sacred room hidden and to 'blind' my crew to its existence. I make sure no big magic can be done anywhere on the ship besides the sacred room because it could mess up my spell and reveal what I truly am."

"This is so fucked up."

"I don't know anything about women being abducted. I don't think any have been, at least not since I've been Captain."

Buffy was trying to process what they were hearing:

"If all of this is true, why did you think we were trying to kill you?"

Karin looked at both of them like they were stupid:

"Because I'm a demon. Isn't that what you do?"

Faith held out her hand to Karin:

"Not unless you’re evil. Christ, what kinda intel you got on us?"

She took Faith's hand gratefully and stood:

"Well, there've been rumors about you befriending demons and sometimes letting them live, but I thought those were just stories. It gets pretty wild sometimes: like the one about Buffy having sex with vampires – male ones too, if you can believe it. Anyway, I figured the stories were like the fairytales we tell our children when they have nightmares about the Slayer."

"Aww…little kids have nightmares about me? That's awful."

"So you don't just kill any demon you come across?"

"I'd never hurt a little kid demon, they don't have to be scared of me."

"B…"

"Sorry. No, we get that some demons aren't evil, Karin, and we live and let live."

"But about her fuckin' vamps, well that's…OW! Jesus, B!"

"So you didn't want me dead just because you're…What would you call it: species-ist?"

"Fuck no! We don't discriminate. Hell, takes all kinds."

Karin smiled, then spit out a tooth.

"So this was all just a simple misunderstanding then."

Buffy laughed, then winced:

"Yeah, a pretty painful simple one."

"Excuse me?"

They all turned towards the tiny voice:

"Can I leave the water now? I'm getting cold."

Faith tried to look friendly:

"Oh shit, yeah sorry. C'mon out, I won't kill ya."

Carmen chose that moment to start coming around.

"No guarantees about her though."

"Faith, did you hit her?"

"I had to, B. She was screamin' and wouldn't shut up."

Nancy ran over to her, all complete with squelchy waterlogged sounds, and Buffy looked at Faith.

"Where did you hit her?"

"I was all careful and just tapped her on the chin."

"Uh-huh. Then why is the tip of her nose so red?"

Faith ran her hand nervously through her hair and winced when it pulled at her ribs.

"She musta fell on it or somethin'. How the fuck do I know?"

"You flicked her nose, didn't you?"

"No, of course not!"

"You are such a liar."

"…"

"…"

"Okay, so maybe I am, but what's a little nose flick, right?"

Karin laughed:

"All things considered, I wish all I'd gotten was a nose flick."

"Yeah, B, see? Even the Captain's onboard."

"You're not funny, F."

"Karin's laughin'."

"Karin's probably got a concussion."

"As much as I'm crazily enjoying this, there's some damage control to do. My crew will need to have this wiped out of their minds, and I'll need to plant a cover story to get this place cleaned up. Also, your friends over there…"

"Who are so totally not our friends."

"They're fuckin' assholes and lucky I didn't waste'em when...Don't gimme that look, B! Was me who took a chair in the back and ribs for that bitch."

Buffy kissed her:

"I know, baby, now shut up and let Karin do what she needs to do."

Karin smiled.

"First, I'll do a glamour on you two so you won't look like you were in a car accident. I can't do big stuff without being in the Transformation room, but it should last you guys long enough to get you into a hotel in San Diego."

"That'd be great, thank you, Karin. Our Slayer healing will take care of the rest pretty fast."

"Yeah, thanks, but what about you? Looks like ya went a few rounds with a coupla Slayers."

"I'll do us all together. Please hold hands."

She chanted for fifteen seconds, then pronounced them finished.

"Uh, Karin? I don't see any change, you and Faith look just as bad as you did."

"The glamour is not for us to see, Buffy. Trust me, it worked. Now for the 'assholes'."

She wiped the incident from Nancy and Carmen's mind, replacing it with the memory of a tipsy Nancy falling into the pool, only to be rescued by Carmen who banged her face on a chair while playing the hero. They actually snuck off the deck, hoping not to get caught in a restricted area.

"Fuck, that's pretty freaky."

"And I very seldom do it. It makes me feel like I'm violating people, but unfortunately in this case there's no other way."

Buffy suddenly tensed:

"Hey, how do we know you're not doing it on us?"

Karin laughed:

"It only works on the weak-minded and the totally human. Ask your Watcher, he'll tell you if I tried it on you two, it'd last about ten seconds and the strain would probably set me on fire."

"Ya know we're so gonna ask him, right?"

The crew members finally began stirring.

"Yes, Faith, and I wouldn't expect anything else from either of you. You should head back to your quarters now, your absence will make my job much easier."

"Are you sure we can't help you?"

"No Buffy, I can handle it, but thank you. And I'm sorry for hitting you both."

"Swingin' was back and forth, Captain. Call us if the sitch gets hinky on ya."

"I will. Goodnight."

They headed back to their room, passing people in the hall, riding with them in the elevator, and no one looked at them like they resembled road kill. Once they got safely inside their room, they stripped out of their clothes and tossed them into the trash can. Buffy ran the bath and while they waited for the tub to fill, Faith went and got the last bottle of wine from the refrigerator as well as two glasses.

"Water's sure gonna sting on all these cuts and scrapes, B."

"I know, but once the burning stops it'll feel so good."

"Yeah.

The moment of truth came and they went in together at opposite ends of the tub, muffling their yells and trying to smile through the pain. After about five minutes, the agony dulled to a tolerable roar and the hot water felt wonderful on their aches and pains.

Faith poured them each a glass, then winced slightly as she leaned forward to hand Buffy hers.

"I'll wrap your ribs when we get out."

"Shoulda checked if your shoulder's…"

"It's just sore. You're the baby who gets dislocated if somebody even thinks about breathing heavy on it."

"Haha, Mrs. Usually Queen of the Busted Ribs."

Buffy laughed:

"We're so in love, we're taking on each other's weak spots."

"That's the beauty of it, B. Together? We don't have any."

"That's so sweet and sort of poetic…even if it doesn't make any sense at all."

Faith tipped her head back against the wall and shut her eyes.

"Hey, I'm all beat up here, I don't gotta make sense."

They sat in silence, luxuriating in the feeling of warmth, of wounds healing, of breathing in and out, of being safe together, and of having done their job.

"Ya know…we didn't do shit, B."

"Yep, mission hugely unaccomplished."

They reached up and clinked their glasses together.

"It's what makes us the best Slayers."

"Absolutely, F! We adjusted on the fly like nobody's business."

"And we pounded the snot outta the ship's Captain."

"For absolutely no real reason."

They clinked again.

"Can't get this kinda slayin' outta the new kids."

Buffy nodded seriously:

"Nope, we're all about quality performance."

They laughed and leaned back, happy just to be quiet and safe. They drifted in and out of sleep as the heat and jets relaxed their muscles, the sound of each other breathing comforting and welcome.

"B?"

"Uh-huh?"

"We're goin' someplace good with this, yeah?"

Buffy opened her eyes and found that Faith was already looking at her.

"We're going someplace great, Faith, and we're going together."

Faith smiled, then closed her eyes.

"Fuck, I can't wait, B."

"I can't either."

Buffy leaned back and closed her eyes too…and the water sloshed over the edge of the tub as Faith moved closer to her

"Whoa, what are you…"

"I meant it when I said I can't wait."

Buffy laughed:

"Oh, I thought you meant…"

"B, when I'm with you, I mean it all."

They kissed and when it ended, Faith turned around and leaned back against Buffy, being careful to keep her weight off of her injured shoulder. They both groaned and flinched and fidgeted, but it didn't take long to get comfortably settled.

"So, B…Tell me about some of the stuff we're gonna do."

And Buffy did.

****

One Year Later

"B, come here!"

Buffy went into the bedroom.

"What's so exciting?"

"Check it out! There's like thirty and it's not even night time yet!"

Buffy had to laugh; Faith looked like a happy little kid as she stuffed chocolate into her mouth.

"So I guess Maria's got this room again."

"Yep. She also left this."

Faith held up the 'Do Not Disturb' sign, and Buffy blushed.

"Shut up, Faith."

"I didn't say a word."

"Shut up anyway."

Faith laughed, then patted the bed next to her.

"Come here."

"No, I want to unpack first."

"How can you tell your wife 'no'?"

Buffy put a suitcase on the bed and unzipped it:

"Very easily when I don't want my clothes all wrinkled."

"So what, we been hitched for 26 hours and it's over?"

Buffy rolled her eyes and carried her underwear over to the top dresser drawer.

"That's right, F, it's lesbian bed death from here on out."

"Damn, good thing I got this candy then."

"And I want you to unpack too."

Faith laughed:

"I did. See my suit on the vanity? Once I get outta these clothes, that's all I'm wearin'."

"That's a nice dream, but it's not happening."

There was a knock on the door and Faith tried to run past Buffy to answer it.

"I got point, B!"

"We're not on assignment, F. And you're back-up."

Buffy answered the door to see a steward standing there.

"Good afternoon, ma'am. I have a communiqué from the Captain."

"Thank you."

"Yes ma'am, and welcome aboard."

Faith tried to take the letter, but Buffy blocked her with her body.

"What's it say, B?"

"As soon as I get it open, I'll tell you."

"Well c'mon, Granny!"

"Like you could open it faster?"

Faith tried to snatch it again:

"A fuckin' dead person could do it faster."

Buffy took out the letter:

Dear Buffy and Faith,

I am so happy you're taking your real honeymoon cruise with us. I promise I won't monopolize your time, but please come to dinner in my quarters at eight tonight. I'm dying to see you guys and hear all about the wedding. And Faith, casual attire is demanded.

Love,

Karin

Buffy smiled happily:

"I can't wait to see her. Phone calls just aren't the same."

"It'll be great 'less she starts beatin' the shit outta us."

"I might start beating you, but first I'm going to finish unpacking."

"B, c'mon. Can't we just do a quickie first?"

Faith wrapped her up from behind, nuzzling into her neck like she knew Buffy loved.

"Well, I guess the clothes could wait a…"

Faith picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. She hip checked the suitcase to the floor and tossed Buffy down on the bed.

"Faith, my clothes are in there!"

"Relax, you can get'em ironed or cleaned or deloused. It's all good, B."

She had her clothes off and then Buffy's were gone at the speed of light.

"You know how much I love you, right?"

"I think so, F, but I wouldn't mind a demo."

Faith kissed her, then held up her own hand for Buffy to see.

"Look, I'm wearin' a ring."

"I know, I put it on your finger 26 hours ago."

"It doesn't even look weird, B. Looks like it's always been there."

"It does look right, although I could be biased. I love everybody knowing you're taken."

Faith grabbed Buffy's hand and examined her ring up close:

"You sure you like this, B? I woulda figured you for bigger diamonds or another rock."

"Nope, this one's perfect. And thank you again for going to all of those jewelers with me and only getting mad twice."

"Sure, baby."

Faith kissed her again.

"Last time we were here, it was about now when we had to 'practice' kiss."

Buffy laughed:

"And this time there's a couch, so you could sleep out there."

Faith was investigating Buffy's neck as she made her way south.

"Why ya assume it was gonna be me?"

"Because I'm Head Slayer."

"Well since I'm gonna give ya some, think that makes me the real Head Slayer."

"If you do it right, maybe."

"Oh I see, you're tryin' to imply my skills aren't all that?"

Buffy's face was the very picture of innocence:

"Why no, Faith, whatever gave you that idea?"

"Yeah, okay it's a challenge from my new wife. Better hang onto somethin', baby'."

"Like what?"

"Your fuckin' mind."

***

Buffy was awake and the ship was out to sea. She couldn't quite see the clock, it was apparently: 14p.m. She was pretty sure the missing number in question was a six, which meant they had plenty of time and could stay in bed a while longer. Faith was sound asleep and sprawled all over Buffy, just the way Buffy liked it best.

She couldn't stop smiling and she couldn't foresee a time when she ever would. Even when Faith was irritating her or being outright infuriating, Buffy found herself so deeply in love it was crazy. She would look at Faith with murder on her mind and so much affection in her heart, it seemed impossible for those two things to exist side by side. Not that she spent much time being truly angry with Faith.

They argued and bickered all the time, nothing had really changed in that regard. But they fit so well together, they had no trouble at all adjusting to the new relationship they'd discovered while just doing their job. The strangest thing about the whole situation was that no one else had a problem with them being together either.

When they'd hobbled off the ship to meet Giles and Willow, they had both been a little nervous at the reaction they were going to receive, especially from Giles. As Buffy and Faith got closer, they heard their Watcher telling Willow that: "…and I suppose it's nothing but good news that the distress call hasn't been sounded."

Willow spotted them first:

"There they are!"

Both Giles and Willow were so relieved to see them seemingly unscathed and without a police escort, they offered up bone crushing hugs to both Slayers.

"OW!"

"Shit!"

They let go instantly, clearly puzzled.

"Buffy, Faith, is something wrong?"

"Yeah guys, what's with the big ouchies?"

Buffy spoke up first:

"We've got them, Will. Big, mean ouchies."

"You do not."

"Trust her, Red, we definitely do."

They'd explained the whole situation in the rental car, and when the glamour wore off an hour later, their true appearance was more than a bit shocking.

"Good Lord, what sort of demon is the Captain?"

"I wanna say…a Dragon? A Dreyfuss? Faith will know."

"Willow, would you mind terribly asking her now?"

"Nope. Be right back."

Willow went into the adjoining room and returned in less than a minute.

"She said she's almost done with her shower and she's starving."

"I already ordered, Will, so we're good."

Giles waited and when the information didn't prove to be forthcoming, he finally asked:

"The name of the demon, Willow?"

"What? Oh, right, sorry. Drasdon."

"Drasdon? Are you quite sure?"

Buffy was sure:

"That's it."

"They are thought to be extinct and were once considered the most formidable demons to ever walk the Earth. There's no record of a Slayer ever facing one in battle and coming out of it alive."

"Well now there's two, and make sure ya get my name spelled right."

"Yes, yes of course, but could you please get dressed?"

"Got a towel on, G-Man. Yeah okay, fine. Was just lookin' for my suitcase."

"I put it in our room, F."

Giles piped right up:

"Didn't Willow tell you? We got each of you your own room. After all of that enforced togetherness, I knew you'd want to…"

"Giles, Faith and I became a couple while we were undercover and now we're in a relationship."

"Bloody hell!"

Buffy and Faith were shocked at his reaction. They had no idea he would…

"Willow, do you have change for a hundred?"

"I think so, hang on…let me look…"

Then suddenly and inexplicably, Willow and Giles were conducting banking business right in the middle of Buffy's big announcement.

"Yep, here's your twenty-five dollars."

He handed her the hundred, then looked disappointedly at Buffy:

"You couldn't have waited until we returned home?"

Buffy and Faith could do nothing but stare until Faith finally found her voice:

"What the fuck are ya talkin' about?"

"Willow and I placed a bet on how long it would take you to tell us you were a couple. Willow said today, I said the first day we arrived home, Dawn said a week with massive hints along the way, and Xander said you'd never tell me voluntarily."

"You guys bet on that?"

"A tad puerile I know, Buffy, but it seemed most amusing until I lost. Now, about this demon…Do you think she would be willing to talk to me about her heritage?"

That was the basic reaction from everyone. It seemed that only Buffy and Faith didn't know they belonged together, but now that the undercover assignment had finally opened their eyes, it took all of the sting out of being sent on what had amounted to nothing more than a wild goose chase. Buffy and Faith couldn't have cared less…until they had to listen to what had happened in their absence.

The magic Willow and the Coven had picked up on was of course Karin's, and no one was being abducted from her ship or any other ship for that matter. But there had been a kidnapping attempt in Ann Arbor, Michigan, and that botched abduction had led to the total destruction of the demon sex slave trade.

It was a long story that Giles told in great detail and that Willow embellished with even more mind numbingly great detail because it involved Kennedy actually doing something right. Both Buffy and Faith had stopped listening when Kennedy became the hero of the tale, and then when it was revealed that Rona was her partner, Buffy and Faith went brain dead as their two least favorite Slayers apparently saved the day in the Wolverine State…with the help of twenty other Slayers.

Still, it was Kennedy's mission, and by all accounts she did well. Willow was so happy and proud, what could they do but let her go on and on and on about it? But that night in bed, Faith kept imitating Kennedy and Buffy got the giggles and couldn't stop until Faith made her come twice.

"Check it out, B. We had sex on a land bed and it was just like on the boat."

"Did you think it was going to be different?"

"Well you know, the ocean's got the motion and…"

The giggles were back, and Buffy had to make Faith come more times than she could count before they both stopped laughing and could get to sleep.

Life in Cleveland didn't change all that much. Buffy and Faith decided to take it slow, but two weeks into it after being together all the time anyway, Faith moved into Buffy's room.

"Sure is a swanky joint. I get a shoebox, the Golden Girl gets a mansion. We break up, I'm gettin' custody of this place."

But there was no break up, there was nothing but a steady confirmation that they were in love and wanted to be together. Ten months into it, they had sex one night and Faith took over the pillow talk.

"Ya know, I might be doin' this wrong."

Buffy was still seeing sparks, and although she wasn't exactly positive what state she lived in, she knew she had to correct Faith immediately:

"Oh no, you're doing it so right it went left, spun in a circle, serpentined, turned the corner, and then came back on itself."

Faith laughed and pulled her closer:

"I got no idea what the hell you just said, but thanks for the praise. I didn't mean the fucking, just that you're getting the milk without buyin' the cow."

"Yes."

"What?"

"Yes, I'll marry you."

"…"

"Just say when, Faith."

"Really, B? You really would, for real?"

"Just as soon as my eyes uncross, I'm good to go."

"You mean it?"

"Do I seem like I'm kidding to you?"

Faith sat up and shook her head:

"No, you seem like you mean it."

"And you?"

"Hell yeah, I mean it! I asked, didn't I?"

"Uh…no, you didn't."

"Yeah, I did."

Buffy sat up too, but she had to lean on Faith to stay upright because her spine was still like jelly.

"No, you asked me if I wanted to buy livestock or something stupid like that."

"I did not! That's like a famous saying!"

"I've never heard of it."

"Ya had to because I said it, then you said you'd marry me."

"No, I just know how to interpret your crazy Faithspeak."

Faith shoved Buffy off of her:

"Quit layin' on me! You're the one that rambles all over like a drunk metal chick."

"See? There's Faithspeak right there!"

"Fuck off, B. You know what I mean."

"Only because I've had years of training in the wild."

"You are so fucked up."

Buffy finally got her arm strength back and shoved Faith.

"What're ya hittin' me for?"

"First: I didn't hit you, I shoved you. Second: it was retaliatory."

"I didn't shove your ass!"

"Yes you did! You told me to get off you!"

"Like an hour ago! Jesus, ya keepin' score?"

"F?"

"Yeah?"

"You asked and I said yes."

Faith smiled and bumped her shoulder into Buffy's.

"I know…Can lean on me if ya wanna."

Buffy did and Faith fell back on the bed with Buffy on top of her.

"Would it be okay if we waited a month or two? I don't want anything fancy, but I do want a couple of things."

"Sure, I don't have a clue, so you can teach me."

"Truer words have never been spoken."

A loud yawn jarred Buffy out of her memories.

"Hiya, B. What time is it?"

"Your guess is as good as mine. The clock's on a weird angle."

Faith reached over and turned it towards them.

"Why didn't ya just move it so you could see it?"

Buffy rolled her eyes:

"Gee, I never thought of that. You were sleeping on me and I didn't want to wake you."

"Oh. Thanks, B."

She snuggled back in and Buffy wrapped her arms around her.

"So how come you're smilin' so big? What'd I miss?"

"I was just remembering when you asked me to marry you."

"And then you did it, B! Just yesterday. Look, I got a ring out of it too."

She held her hand up again so that they could both admire it, and Buffy laughed.

"You are so cute, Faith. I think I'm in love with you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"That's cool. If my marriage ever breaks up, I'll come lookin' for ya."

"I'll be waiting."

They basked as they watched the sun set slowly.

"You excited, B?"

"Yep. This is going to be the best honeymoon ever."

"Weeklong cruise, then Paris for two weeks."

"I can't believe Giles gave us three weeks off."

"Me neither. Eiffel Tower here we come for as long as ya want, B."

"It's going to be so cool."

"Wicked cool."

Buffy kissed the top of her head, her voice serious:

"Faith, what are you looking forward to?"

"Just doing shit with you. I'm takin' it a day at a time, but we never went dancing when we were here, not for real anyways. We never fucked in the whirlpool out on the balcony, I wanna hit the video game room this time around, and I wanna see you happy for the rest of your life."

"I love you so much, Mrs.Summers."

Faith held up her hand:

"I know, Mrs. Summers, and I got the ring right here to prove it."

Buffy started laughing.

"What, B?"

"I could not believe you did that to Susan!"

"Oh yeah, guess I'd better 'fess up tomorrow. But did you see her do that double take? And you followed my lead perfect."

"Why no, Susan, I've never been on this ship before. The Lehanes? Why no, it's not ringing any bells..."

They both started laughing.

"I'm glad we decided on your name, B."

"We didn't, you did."

"Yeah, well, never cared much for my name. My family's nothin' to brag about, but 'Summers'? That's your Mom and Squirt and the Slayer. It's you, Buffy: all powerful and beautiful and good. That name means something – it's a hero's name."

Buffy could feel the tears trickling down her face. How she had ever gotten so lucky she didn't know, but she was going to live it up for the rest of her life.

"And even though I kinda cheated to get there, I'm pretty proud to be in that group."

"God, you just say the sweetest things, Faith."

"Yeah, B?"

"Yeah, F."

The End